R. G. Mugabe
History up to April 2000

Read about him as he is.   Tell us what you already know.
As a hoodlum
As a thug
As a homosexual
As a president
Mugabe's record
As a Prime Minister
Zimbabwe profile
As a husband
As a wife snatcher
As a Hitler impessonator
As a Pinochet Impessonator
As a Haile Miriam Impessonator
As a mentor for Fascists
As a cross dressor
As an international criminal
As a large chicken
As a money horder abroad
As a platonic friend
As a lawyer.
As an economist
As a dinner guest for Smith
As a mate with dagga joints
As a cool dude

Instructions for citizens

1 Do not vote For Morgan
2 Dont prosecute ex-ministers
3 Do not expect petrol
4 Real money is in DRC
5 Kill each other for fun
6 Kill my wife's boyfriends
7 Go to South Africa for jobs
8 Condoms are for whites
9 Money for votes is good
10 Hunzwi is good president
11 Kill all who refuse to marry me
12 Reporters deserve torture
13 Investors go home!
14 Only Mugabe makes news
15 Banana has a lovely banana
16 T Stamp should be a thief
17 Presidents are above the law
18 Vice Ps are my wives
19 Ban the Internet.
20 Arap Moi is a good guy.
21 Kabila should have been a girl. I would have married her. We should all do what he says.

 
Morgan Tsvangirai reminds me of my youth. He is a good lad. Why did he have to join that MDC. I should buy him off his parents and call him Mugabe Junior. He is everything I ever wanted to be:

He is liked by people.
He is Honest
He is Determined
He is brave, Oh Boy, is he brave.
He is verile, well no Smith experience
He sleeps in his own house
Is respected by Business the world over
South Africa likes him
Even students like him
He has one wife whom he did not buy.
Clever people follow his advice
He knows what to do about petrol queues
He would just pull the army out of DRC.
Women don't dance like idiots for him
He may actually not steal.
He could introduce a civilian police force
He could have a real national army.
He has not killed anybody yet. I have 40000 to my belt.
He is not homosexual like me.

These pages arecompiled by
the BNTZG 2000
Bring normality to Zimbabwe Group 2000

My Motto:  By R G Mugabe President of Zimbabwe 1980-2000.

I must do Anything to stay in power. Mostly I must Lie, Cheat, Steal, and Murder. I just must stay in power. I must, I must. Till death do me part.

Meanwhile I must build houses in Chelsey, London, hotels in Europe, bank the proceeds of my theft in Switzerland under a false name. I must be a millionnaire in any currency.

I must show those in Zimnbabwe who is in charge. If things are too quiet, I must do something outrageous.

Must kidnap a young girl and kill her for her organs. That would get them talking anout me for a while. I could procure young boys for shared sodomy with the former president. That would be interesting. I could sodomise my ministers to show them I am the boss.

Why not buy a wife and children? Well, why not indeed. I could make him an offer he can not refuse. A few million Us dollars in America, banked with a US bank. At Zimbabwean can sell his wife at that price. I must buy one and she must come complete with children. Rumour has it that I was newted by Ian smith. Well if rumour is true, them I must show them I can have other men's children. I will teach my newly purchased wife to be proficient atlooting. I will try to retire with her, but if I have to leave on my own, then so be it. A man has got to do what a man has got to do.

Why not kill a few white people in a spectacular fasion? Then I can have the whole world talking about me. They love talking about dead white people. I will even be talked about at business conferences as investrors pull out of Zimbabwe. I will have all the citizens talk about me while waiting for fuel to arrive from Kuwait. The shipment takes three to four months to arrive so they have plenty of time.

Why not send the amry to the DRC to fight a war for one similar to me. That could give me a few years of joint looting. Well imagine me and Laurent K. Between us we could loot a few million before we retire in Europe. They do not call me Mugabe for nothing.

Funny thing is there are a few mugs who have no chance of retiring in Europe, who will do what I tell them to do but will be procesuted after I leave for Europe. Such low intelligence guys deserve what they get. Like Hitler, Galtieri, Sohato, Sadam, Mao, Idi, Savimbi, Eugene Terblanche, I will take the fools with me. Just in this case there are more of them than in any other case. I love them. They make my life interesting.

I have my best ones such as Jonathan Moyo. Who can be more stupid than that guy? When even newborn babies can read me like a book, he accepts money and says what I tell him to say. Then there is Mahachi, Zvobvo, Chen, and my vice Hunzwi. What a bunch. Well, I have enough money to keep paying them for about ten years. Some money is in the UK, some in Swiss banks, some is tied up with Laurent Kabila, and yet some is in the USA.  I should have some fun.

My motto will last for as long as I live.

Prison is for real thugs like Hunzwi or Jonathan Moyo who just do as I say.

I have inted a new way of killing women and children. Roast them alive with blow torches.  They may smell a bit by the method leaves no trace. I love my paid up thugs. Amazing what money can do.

The newest swear word is MDC. Everyone must use it to show disgust. I use it when I am sleep talking, or so my wife says. What does she know. I only sleep with her to show who is boss round our house.  MDC should be roasted with a blow torch. Boy, that would be fun. I wonder if I can make Morgan disappear.

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