12.13.98
Not too bad of a day for a Saturday. Actually, it was pretty decent (even though there was a house full of kids all day) Too cold and wet for them to do much of anything outside. I must be getting used to the noise and commotion that bursts from children. I just hope I can hang in there with it. I had a very interesting conversation last night. I guess you could say that it was sort of deep. It's making me do a lot of soul searching and wandering within myself. I am always told that I need to get out and live life and be happy. I'm trying to figure out why people tell me this. I am so content with myself, so why should I get out to live life? I live life day after day. I enjoy the simple things life has to offer me. They bring me so much pleasure. What is it that's so important to see to make my life any better? It does not excite or fill me with enthusiasm to get out. I would much prefer spending time with myself just drawing or reading or thinking or just sitting outside dazing through the trees and letting my mind go off in it's safe place and day dream. And not dream about money, love or anything like that. I dream about what it would be like to float on air, to touch the stars, to feel the presence of an angel beside me. I know I have a guardian angel, I would just like to see a sparkle in its eye and a soft smile on its face.