01.17.99
My Time
Sometimes when I have quiet time to myself, I can't get away from having thoughts jump in and out of my head. Whether they are hopes, dreams, pasts, fantasies, whatever the case, i usually end of creating or recreating the feelings I have felt or wish to feel. All pains, joys, sorrows come back full force. I really don't know why I allow myself to do that. Sometimes the pain is too strong for me to handle. Even the happiness I feel brings me down when I return to things going on in my life. There is never a happy-medium. I think of myself as such a strange person. I don't know if I could understand someone like me, if I weren't the way I am. I often find myself not understanding my views on many things. I wonder if that has anything with me being a Gemini. Could be. I just find myself always having some sort of conflict within.