11.24.98

Three little words in my mind all day ***I want him*** that's all I want - HIM. I'm getting tired of hearing myself say it, but I can't help it. What is it about him??? He just turns me on and always has. I know it's been about two years since I first met him. And although I wasn't available then, there was always something there with he and I. A special friendship is what I have developed with him. I can tell him anything and not be afraid of him treating me any differently. But, there is one exception. I want so badly to tell him how I feel about him. He knows already in a round about way. But, I just want to be able to come out and -point blank- tell him all the feelings I have for him. What is stopping me? What am I afraid of? Sometimes I sense that he's feeling the same way about it as I am. Maybe not as much as I do ... but to an extent. I need to find the courage somewhere to tell him all of this. But how? How does one find courage, strength, confidence?

***I want to believe, and I do believe that someday I will.***

Yesterday | Tomorrow