A Walk To Forget
I can only be me · I see and know all · King of the fools · Listen bitch · Project whores · The people around me
King of the fools
I just spent my last penny
To get me to school
I can't help but think
About all the times I never stole
I can't afford to use the heater
So I sit here cold
What about all those
Drugs I could've sold
Instead of wasting my money
On books and tuition
I could have used that money
To go into remission
Just how my ex-friends
Have and are
Instead I sit here
In my freezing car
Waiting for class
People stare as they pass
I wondering how I'm ever
Going to be able to pay for gas
The shit I could've done
To make easy money
But I was too consumed
In what my mother would think of me
All my life
I've separated myself from the stuff around me
All the while
The easy money tearing down me
You need more school supplies
You don't need new pants
You're going to make something out of yourself
You're our last chance
You're have to make something out of yourself
You're much more than my baby boy
You're going to be our success story
You're going to be our pride and joy
So I sacrifice my life
To achieve their goal
I continue to attend
Even though I hate this school
So many ego's
So many sob's
So many mother fuckers
That never had a job
It's not my fault
That I'm king of the fools
Rarely does anyone from hilltop
Make it through high school
Because my average I.Q. and diploma
I must be a genius
I know all the answers, my word is law
Everything is how I say it is
Education I was told
Is way to break the cycle
I never want to grow up
And be anything like Michael
But I'm not smart enough
To be with the smart crowd
Not dumb enough
Not to make my mom proud
Ugly enough
To be ugly
Too good looking
Not to brag about me
Not insistent enough
To tell you no
Like a proud mother
You let everyone know
Pressure and unrealistic expectations
Put on me
How great it would to be
To bask in stupidity
He who increases knowledge
Increases sorrow
He who increases sorrow
Grows to despise morrow
Everyday
Told what I supposedly am
But just because they say it
Doesn't mean I really am better than them
I never asked for their lies
Everyone counting on me
I never asked to be despised
By my own family
Because I was treated differently
By my mother
So I became hated
By my own brother
How ironic it is
And how strange it must seem
The one with the most praise
Has the lowest self-esteem
I'd give up anything
For it not to be so low
I'd give up all my I.Q. points
Just not to know
These expectations
Are so unreal
I don't know
What I'm suppose to feel
I don't even make my own decisions
Anymore
I don't follow my dreams
I follow yours
I'm not complaining
Because I put pride in you
But every time I fail
I feel like I'm failing you too