~For Steve~
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The Tears of a Clown
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Episode One: Remembering Angel
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Angel was her name... he
remebered her so well.... barely 18 when he found her crying in his labyrinth of dark
mirrored hallways.... her blue eyes were so intense.. almost like sapphires. And that red
satin ribbon in her dark curly hair... that had been the best part... She truly looked
like an angel without wings.... oh he wanted to keep this one.... He wanted this life
sized doll to dress and play with forever.... and she had nobody... He could almost
sympathize with that... And for a moment he felt better about himself... all the other
kids had always teased him for being so weird... they said he was ugly.. Somehow he just
accepted that as the reason for his misery... being ugly meant being unwanted... but here
crouched in his corner was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen... and she was alone
too.... So he took her inside... he gave her the prettiest costumes he had collected...
and despite her voloptuous figure... that face was still the face of a little girl... she
was his little girl.. and she would become his first friend.. his first concious lover...
and his worst obsession.....
But Angel was no angel... and as the months
wore on he began to loathe her slurred drunken speech.. and her beautiful costumes were in
such disarray... her red lips smeared from the vodka bottle... his own worst memories of
his Mother were being relived through this runaway tramp he thought would be his
salvation.... she began to taunt him too... and she only smiled when he hit her... She fed
on his anger.. More and more his angel became his object of disgust.... The blue eyes he
had so loved were full of mockery... vodka and sex were Angel's only concerns... and he
had caught her on more than a few occasions sneaking out to be with other boys.. young
boys... pretty boys... the same boys that had laughed at him when he was a child it
seemed.. they all had the same faces...
She plead with him the night he got rid of
her... and for the first time since he had taken her in she cried tears that made those
sapphires sparkle in her eyes.... and he laughed as she writhed against that dart board..
For the first time in months she turned him on... She screamed like a virgin as the darts
hit her soft flesh harder and in more tender places... and the final blow piercing her
blue eye had been too much much for him... he shook all over as his pent up tension and
anger were released at last... As he laid down to sleep that night he counted Angel's
sheep... rocking calmly with the memories of her lyrical voice.... But Little Bo made no
peep tonight as he smiled without malice and a one eyed angel watched over him..
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~The Tears of a Clown~
courtesy of Christabel and Hell's Bells Publishing. Copyright 1998. May NOT be reproduced
or used in any way without prior consent. Thank You.