The people in attendance were: Mike & Alta, Jason, Jeremy Skellenger. Jeremy's girlfriend, Nancy Findley. Jenifer & Jeff & Ian & Justin Mitchell. Josh Wilkins. Will & Shirley Kostiak. Jennifer Jacobs. Dave & Lisa & Kelly McCabe.

      We went to the park in three cars and it took us about an hour and a half to get there from Vancouver. When you get back to the parking lot it is about a one kilometer hike back to the campground.

      Brian's mom & dad, Rhonda & Jerry, had asked that his ashes be brought to British Columbia because this was where Brian had said he would have liked to live.

      It was a beautiful Spring day with a light breeze coming in off from the lake. There were many other people in the park but no-one disturbed our ceremony.

      We video taped this to put at the end of the tape that I will make copies of and send to people in Michigan, Wisconsin and West Virginia. Some people may feel that this is in bad taste but we felt that others may want to see where Brian's ashes are now.

      We stood in a semi-circle and Jeremy read the eulogy that I had written for Brian. While he did this, I used a spoon to throw Brian's ashes into the air over the vase of flowers that Shirley had provided for this occasion. Much of the first toss of ash came back down on me which others laughed at and said they felt it was appropriate. That Brian was getting one more joke in on us. I was more careful about the rest of the ash being scattered. The lighter ash floated away on the wind under the trees but the heavier material settled around the vase of flowers. This provided a whitish area over the reddish soil and old pine needles.

      When Jeremy finished the eulogy, Jeff read one of Brian's poems called "Ten Thousand Steps". Jenifer had been going to read this but she read it to herself for the first time just before the ceremony and told me that she couldn't read it or she would be sobbing all of the way through it.
 

       At the end of this, Alta said a short prayer to acknowledge that Brian had dedicated his life to Christ a few days before he was killed in West Virginia.

      This ended our ceremony of remembrance and we had the guys drag the campground's sole picnic table out from under the trees so that we could have a picnic.  During this time, several of the group went singly back to the site where the ashes were spread to say their own private goodbyes to Brian. They also got the video camera back out and taped more of the activities at the site. I've decided to include this at the end of the tape to show more precisely where his ashes are at, but also to show that we will return to this site where we will remember Brian.

      It felt strange to bring Brian's ashes back with me from Michigan. They came with me as carry on luggage because I didn't want the airline to accidently misplace them and have them wind up in Hong Kong or Australia. His dad said that Brian would have probably have thought it was a great joke to go for the extra trip. Brian had a great sense of humor and I half expected him to somehow materialize to moon the border guards.  They didn't give me any hassle about crossing the border with his ashes.

      The box containing his ashes sat in our sideboard cupboard in the living room until it was time to take them to the park. Our family here felt that they wanted to wait until April 14th for Brian's birthday. The now empty box, with the plastic bag and the spoon that I used will remain with us. I will put a copy of the eulogy, Brian's poem, a copy of the video tape and this writing into the box and seal it.

      We are glad that we got the opportunity to know Brian before he died and we hope that he will be at peace in his final resting place.

Brian Skellenger was related to some of us by blood or genetics or whatever....  Brian became a part of our family and our lives when he came to CANADA in the summer of 1994 and became real to us as a person and a friend not just a relative that we really didn't know...  He came to Canada because he was invited by us to spend the summer with our family.

While he was here, he got to know his Uncle Mike and Aunt Alta, his cousins Jeremy, Jenifer and Jason and his 2nd cousins Ian (who called him Uncle Brian) and Justin.  He even put on a tie and acted as one of the ushers at Jenifer and Jeff's wedding and he was here when Justin was born.  We all worried a bit that Brian might try to take baby Justin back home with him in his suitcase because he loved him so much. Brian met other people in Vancouver that he loved as well. Jennifer Jacobs, who he shared a tent with (and lost at strip poker to) while out camping and his friend Willy and his mom Shirley. Will was always ready to give Brian a verbal sparring match. Brian managed quite well in those matches but wasn't above mooning anyone to get his point across (or at any other time). Brian, Jason and Willy were great friends over that summer.  They put almost as much white paint on each other as they put on the balcony they were painting for us. He also met Dave,  Lisa and Kelly that he always wanted to know about when we talked later by phone or in the letters that were sent to him in Michigan and West Virginia. Brian met other people here but these are the family that he remembered in British Columbia.

We didn't know Brian well but we knew more about him than many.  I doubt that anyone here REALLY got to know him... the time was simply too short... but he was able to tell some of us of what he felt in being shuffled around the continent seemingly in search for a place where he fit . He told us that he loved the people that he met here and that this is where he would have liked to live.  Brian wasn't able to stay with us here for several reasons but we all hoped that he would be able to return to CANADA as an adult and hopefully to immigrate here.

After Brian returned to Michigan he lived with his own family in Houghton Lake for awhile and then tried to move out on his own. That didn't work out for him and he soon returned home again. Later he moved with a friend to his friend's father's  home in Sophia, West Virginia. Brian told us that he had several very good friends there and he also met a girl who broke his heart. When he was going through this he wrote many poems that are now in the possession of his parents in Michigan. We will hear one of Brian's poems read here today.

Brian finally met with his birth mother who he hadn't seen since he was very young and was happy to find out that his mother had remarried and that he had 3 sisters that he hadn't known about before. Brian planned on going to live with his mother in Wisconsin this summer and to work there for awhile. He also hoped to meet up with Jeremy for awhile when he was there.

While Brian was living in West Virginia he became a vegetarian and opposed to the hunting of animals. He wore a peace symbol all of the time and for awhile he had blue hair. Brian began going to church with his friend and a few days before he died he stood up in front of the congregation and dedicated his life to Christ.

He had several telephone conversations with his father and mother and had reached a reconciliation with them so that he knew that they loved him but often hadn't been able to express it to him in a way that he had needed to hear before. In his last call with his father, Brian was happy to hear his father say that he loved him at least  3 times. Brian has 2 sisters and 1 brother in Michigan. Misty, Rebecca and Ricky. Brian said he used to fight with them a lot but that he really loved them. He also has grandparents, his great grandmother, aunts, uncles and numerous cousins and other relatives and friends throughout the United States and CANADA.

During his almost 19 years of life Brian lived in several places in Michigan, Arkansas,  British Columbia and West Virginia.

Brian was killed on February 10, 1996 when he was hit by a recklessly driven ambulance while he stood in the "safe" center median of a divided highway.

His funeral and cremation was on February 15, 1996 at Houghton Lake, Michigan and was attended by many of his friends and relatives including his birth mother, his step father and his sisters from Wisconsin and some of his friends from
West Virginia.

Brian's  parents felt that his ashes should be scattered in the place where he had told them that he loved above all the rest and so his ashes were brought here to British Columbia.

Today we are scattering his ashes at Alloette Lake in Golden Ears Park where he camped with us and where we can visit and remember Brian as a good friend and always a loved part of our family. Brian's other friends and family are here with us in spirit today as well.

We love you...

Rest in Peace Brian