Reasons why I will not be seeing Titanic:
- It is a romance. I hate romantic movies.
- Its characters are stereotypes (noble poor boy, venal rich fiance, unhappy rich girl looking for Real Love).
- It is full of overhyped special effects. I am sick of special effects in the movies.
- It features the questionable acting abilities and prepubescent body of Leonardo "Teen Dream" DiCrappio.
- It is basically the Poseidon Adventure in period costume. I have already seen the Poseidon Adventure.
The only saving grace that the movie might have is that Kate What's-er-name was apparently allowed to keep her rather chunky physical appearance, rather than being forced to slim down to today's starving-heroin-addict look. (I have this info from a co-worker who saw the movie.)
I will not be seeing the horror that City of Angels looks as if it is going to be either. Here is why:
I have just seen a preview commercial of the horror that is to come that is City of Angels. Not only were there shots of Nicholas Cage's blue eyes in that Lurch-meets-Mr.-Ed mug of his staring "soulfully" (incomprehendingly) at everything, the Walking Evil that is Dennis Franz (please tell me there aren't any nude shots of him, please), a treacly-voiced voice-over Straight Outta Disney, and snippets of the "dialogue", there was Meg Ryan in a hideous curly 'do crinkling her nose adorably to show -- in the shots I saw -- dawning love, astonishment, adoration, and consternation. I think I would rather be dragged over hot coals by my eyelashes than see this movie. Note to the movie promoters: you are supposed to get people to want to see your film, not drive them away screaming. Perhaps instead of the shots of the (shudder) actual scenes of the movie and the diabetes-inducing voice-over, you should have shown shots of the empty set, with snippets from songs of the soundtrack playing in the background. Instead of going to see this movie I think I will go out and rent Wings of Desire, the European movie that this film is a Hollywoodized remake of.
While watching a rented video, I was introduced to another Movie I Won't Be Seeing (unless I'm trapped on an intercontinental flight): Good Will Hunting. The movie had always struck me as being repellent somehow: something about a genius boy who refuses to use his brains because he is Too Sensitive, or something like that - and the promo I saw for it did nothing to make me want to run out and rent the video. Matt Damon has a bizarre, jack 'o lantern-like grin. He is well-paired with Minnie Driver, who is surely one of the oddest-looking women I have ever seen, at least she is the way Gus Van Sant shot her. She really should never allow herself to be made to wear her hair in that lank, oily-looking style that she sports in the film. And the film is directed by Gus Van Sant, who seems to think that sentimentality will make the most incomprehensible story compelling. And then there is Robin Williams. He is one of my favorite actors, but sometimes he goes on this binge of playing treacly-sweet parts, and I just find myself wishing he would go back on the coke.
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