A note parents of Gay Youth








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First, welcome to GayTeenResources Online.

If you knew about your child�s orientation, and are simply checking out this site, please take a moment to let us know your thoughts. Write to [email protected].

If you found this site by going through a browser history or a saved link, it�s possible you are now in a state of shock. Before you react, please take a moment to read this page.

It is important that you realize that if your son or daughter is gay (visiting this site is not proof of that), they are still the same kids you knew before you found this link. They have not suddenly turned into someone whose moods, hurts, and feelings you have never encountered before. You likely have the power to hurt them deeply with your reaction. Please don�t.

You will have likely have heard, and may even believe, that homosexuality is a choice. Before you subscribe to this belief, take a moment to consider the following... in today�s society, a homosexual is often a pariah - consider your own reactions. Since it is well known that teens want to fit in with their peers, you should ask yourself if it makes sense that they would choose a lifestyle that alienates them from their peer group.

Because of their orientation, teens are often the focus of family violence, neglect and emational abuse. They may be ejected forcibly from their homes - up to half of the homeless teens in Seattle and New York are estimated to fall into this category. Others run away because they can�t deal with the emotional conflicts raised by their parents - whom they often love and want to be able to talk with openly and honestly.

Homosexuality as a �lifestyle� is not automatically immoral or promiscuous. These are subjects you should talk with your teen about. Many teens want to find a special someone, a �soul mate,� to stay with for their entire lives. Gay teens are not an exception to this desire. If sexual activity is a concern - and it is a legitimate one, regardless of sexual orientation - then find out the facts for yourself, and make sure you teen is aware of them as well.

No one is asking you to approve, if you don�t. What is being asked is that you continue to love your children, and take some time to explore this discovery before you take any action.

I would encourage you to take a look at the following links:
www.truluck.com - concerning religion
www.pflag.org - other parents who have found out their son or daughter is gay.

Finally, some parents will react by taking their son and daughter off of the internet. Consider these facts:

our society is increasingly turning to the net. The proper reaction to concerns about material encountered on the net should be to do what you are doing now. Look and explore for yourself, and talk over with your teen what is and isn�t allowed in your home, and why. If you meet your son or daughters real life friends, it is reasonable to ask to meet their online friends as well.

Think also about what was said above, about your son or daughter being seperated from their peers. Taking them off of the net won�t change their orientation. It will only make them more isolated ... and leave you to take the blame.

Sites like GayTeenResources.org and others are responsible for several teens being alive today, who otherwise wouldn�t. Before you isolate your son and daughter emotionally from their peers, who *do* know what they are going through - because they are going through it themselves - ask yourself what you are going to replace it with.

Please feel free to contact me or any of the staff with your concerns

Richard Hubbard
President, GayTeenResources
[email protected]


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