Kelly Pickell May 1st, 1999 English 3190 Dr. Kevin Radaker

Imagine you�ve met the love of your life. The man or woman of your dreams. Your soulmate. You�ve waited your whole life for the perfect person to come along and finally they are standing at your door. And now, you�re ready to share your life with this person. But you can�t. The law tells you that you are not allowed to marry this person, ever. 90% percent of the United States population will never have to worry about this scenario. But for persons attracted to people of the same gender, marriage is not an option. For them, the joys and benefits of living as a married couple are just a dream.

Not everyone desires to get married. Some people don't want tied into a committed relationship. Perhaps they find the freedoms of single life to be more appealing than sharing life with a significant other. Or maybe they feel they simply don't have the time for a relationship. As one ten-year-old girl put it, "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough" (Children's 5). Like that girl, some of us just aren't ready for love. But despite how hard some of us try to put off falling in love, it does happen to the great many of us. And of those persons who do fall in love, many of them end up desiring to share the rest of their lives together. The institution of marriage gives these people a way to express to each other and to the world the love and commitment that they feel towards one another.

Of course, not everyone who desires to take part in the ceremony of marriage is permitted to do so. Society has always defined roles about who can and cannot marry (Miller 26). You aren't allowed to marry a child because children often have not thought through everything that marriage entails. You aren't allowed to marry someone who is already married because marriage is based around the concept that you are sharing your love with only one other person (Miller 27). You also can not marry anyone who does not want to marry you since marriage requires that both partners be committed to each other. And right now, you can not marry someone of the same sex because many people believe marriage should be limited to only person of the opposite gender. We set limits on who can and can not marry because we want to protect the marriage institution (Homosexual 2). Marriage is about legally and formally recognizing the union of two persons who are committed to each other and who love one another. It makes sense to not recognize marriages where there is not mutual love and commitment between the persons desiring to get married, but it does not make sense to prohibit marriage between two adults who love each other and desire to share their lives with one another.

Some people believe that by changing the current marriage laws we will be taking a step in the direction of its breakdown. But it is not the institution of marriage that anyone wants to change, it is the eligibility list of who can and can not marry (Homosexual 2). This eligibility list has changed considerably throughout history (Why 1). In our country's past, many states did not allow African-Americans to marry. African-American's were not deemed worthy enough to deserve the rite of marriage. Many whites argued that if African-Americans were given the right to marry they might begin to think of themselves as equal citizens (Miller 27). Eventually African-Americans were seen as equal, at least by the law, and they were permitted to marry other African-Americans. Up until 30 years ago biracial marriages were not recognized. For example a law in Virginia stated, "All marriages between a white person and a colored person shall be absolutely void without any decree of divorce or other legal process" (Why 1). Throughout history the eligibility list of who should be permitted to marry has changed, and "all through history, any change in the marriage rules has brought out the same apocalyptic cries: 'God will punish you and your children, and civilization will collapse' " (Miller 26). But Civilization does not collapse when people are seen as equal and given the same privileges and benefits. By not permitting a specific group of persons to marry we are saying that they are not worthy of the same rights as other human beings. Although we may not always approve of whom someone decides to marry, ultimately it is a personal choice that only the persons involved can make. If some members of the public are attracted to people of the opposite sex, is it fair for us to withhold the rites of marriage?

There has been a lot of debate over whether people are born gay or lesbian or whether one chooses their sexual orientation. Assume that 5% of the population is homosexual. Now imagine a test that looked at homosexual persons with twins who were raised separately. If homosexuality was a choice or determined by environmental factors then it would be natural to find that 5% of the twins had turned out to be homosexual. If homosexuality were determined genetically then one would expect 100% of the twins would have turned out to be gay. But we don't have to imagine this test because it has been performed by many different groups ("Homosexuality" 5). The results always turn out the same. Over 50% of these twins are both homosexual ("Homosexuality" 5). Since identical twins have the same genetic structure, some would argue that orientation is not determined genetically since only 50% (far less than 100%) of the twins are homosexual. Yet, if sexual orientation is determined genetically then it would be determined through a specific gene, and all genes have a property called permanence. Permanence is "a measure of [a gene's] effectiveness, or power" ("Homosexuality" 8). If a gene is 60% penetrant, you have a 60% chance of being effected by that gene. The penetrance for Type A diabetes is only 30%, whereas "the penetrance of the 'gay gene' is approximately 67%" ("Homosexuality" 8). So far scientists are undecided as to what triggers the allele to cause some to become gay and others straight, but almost all researchers "with the exception of conservative Christians" agree that "sexual orientation is determined before school age, and is perhaps determined genetically at conception" ("Homosexuality" 8).

Despite the amount of scientific evidence that suggest that a person's sexual orientation is determined genetically, many people still seem to side with the researchers from of the minority opinion. Even people who have never read the Bible will begin to quote verses from it that relate to homosexuality ("Homosexuality" 9). After all, if you can prove God agrees with you, you will have a strong argument against the opponent's view.

In the Bible there are a select number of verses that deal with homosexuality and many of those verses show varying homosexual activities as sinful or wrong. Yet, they are often used out of context to imply that any homosexual activity is a sin. For example, many fundamentalists quote Romans 1:26-27: "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another, Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." Rarely however, do these fundamental Christians mention the context which these verse has been taken from. Paul is describing a group of people (who were once Christians) who had begun to replace the worship of God with the worship of idols from pagan religions (Romans 1:23 and 25). In this context the men and women began adding sexual rituals (verse 24) and eventually expanded these sexual rituals to include homosexual sex as well. Few people today would argue that homosexual or heterosexual sex acts should be performed within the church let alone with persons who one does not have a committed relationship with ("Bible" 4). But since the Bible never condemns homosexual relationships between two committed persons, fundamentalists are forced to use these other passages out of context.

Another passage people have used to condemn homosexuality is 1 Corinthians 6:9 which says that neither "male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders" will inherit the kingdom of God (New International Version). Yet by simply looking at the Greek roots from which those words were translated one will quickly see that it is not referring to homosexual sex within a committed relationship but rather it condemns temple ritual sex and immoral sexual activities of homosexuals and heterosexuals ("Bible" 3). In one translation of this verse (Young's Living Translation) it uses the adjective "sodomite" to translate "homosexual offenders." Many people believe that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because the inhabitants were practicing homosexuality. Because of this belief people often now use the word Sodomite to refer to homosexuals. But in Ezekiel 16:49 the Bible describes the sins of Sodom in this manner: "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." People often pick up catch phrases and start using them before they even find out if they are true and before long those phrases wind up in our day to day language ("Bible" 4). It would seem that by studying the Bible, one would have a hard time proving that God does despise homosexuals. Yet, in truth, even if it could be proven that Christianity, or any religion, does not support a homosexual lifestyle, the doctrine of church-state separation should prevent the laws of this land from being based on a certain groups' religious beliefs.

In America we pride ourselves in treating all humanity with dignity, respect, and fairness, yet this pride rarely seems to go beyond nice words for some people in the American public. Gay and lesbian couples are continually denied benefits that heterosexual couples are able to obtain simply because they are not permitted to marry. Religious institutions are free to make up their own guidelines on who may marry inside their church and who may not, but because of the "status, tax benefits and legal responsibilities that are extended to married couples," the state must remain unbiased in deciding who can be legally married ("Homosexual" 1). Before we allow gays and lesbians the right to marry, many of us will need to confront the deep fears and beliefs that we've held onto for so long. But until we allow gays and lesbians the right to marry, America will not be a land of opportunity and freedom for many of its citizens.

The eligibility list of who can and can not get married has continued to change throughout the years as the majority has learned that other persons are not inferior to them but truly are equal. Whites now consider African-American's to be equal and have given them the legal right to marry. Now we must realize that homosexuals are equal. Mental health associations and genetic researchers seem to continually agree that sexual orientation is determined genetically and triggered at an early age. Biblical scholars have reexamined texts from the Bible and determined that God does not in deed condemn all homosexuals. And everyday life has shown us that homosexuals are people just like us, with the same hurts, the same fears, the same joys, and the same desire to love. Now we must reexamine our own thoughts, fears and beliefs, and see which of them are truly accurate and which are based on misinformation and our own personal biases. And as a country, we must ultimately decide if homosexuals truly are inferior and deserving of no rights, or if they are truly are equal and thus deserving of the right to marry.

Works Cited

"Children's Views on Love". Internet. http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Union/1669/Love.html 4/30/99.

"Homosexual (Same-Sex) Marriages: Religious and Secular Aspects." Internet. http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_mar7.htm 4/20/99.

"Homosexuality: Choice or fixed orientation?" Internet. http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_fixe.htm 4/20/99.

Miller, Neil. "What Is Marriage For?" World. March/April 1999.

"The Bible and Homosexuality." Internet. http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm 4/20/99.

"Why Are Couples Not Permitted To Marry?" Internet. http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_mar3.htm 4/20/99.