The Adventures of Rory the Raccoon

By Some Person

Rory the Raccoon lived in the Beaver Forest near the city of O-Town, New Jersey. He lived in a tree that looked sort of like an old guy, sitting on a toilet, doing his business. His home was big and he lived all by himself. Nearly every day he did something crazy. But nothing could prepare him for the insanity today...

Rory woke up around 7:00a.m. by his Acorn-Alarm-Clock, which he instantly smashed. He then woke up at 8:09 (Which was 69 minutes later!) when a banana slug fell in his mouth. "Aughkt!" Rory said, and spit oudt the banana slug. He then realized he was late to meet with his friends Squirrel-Man the Squirrel and WaggleDorf the Beaver. He ran down stairs and went out the old guys butt to meet his friends by the river to eat frogs. When he got close to his destination, he slipped on a banana peel, which caused him to slide down mud, into the river. "Aaahh!" he yelled.

*Splash!

He was covered in river and mud. "Hey Rory," said Chimichanga, the old Chinese gerble. "Your friends already left. They said they were sick of you being late. They also said they were going to the food store. Here, have a banana." "Uhh... no thanks." Rory said. So he left.

About 10 minutes later, Rory arrived at the Food Store up near the top of the river, next to the big water-fall. He was going to order sea-monkeys, his favorite food. When he walked in, Spunky the Ferret was behind the counter. "Hey, are my friends here?" Rory asked. "No," Spunky replied in a dull voice. "They went in the cave behind the water-fall. How may I take your order?" "I'll take one sea-monkeys to go, please." "Sorry, were out. Do you want a banana?" "No!!! Only girls like bananas!" (Well, in their own special way at least!) Rory left, and went behind the waterfall in the cave. The cave was basically the fort of Rory and his friends. They usually put up booby traps, but not without telling him first. Just then, Rory tripped over a rope, and a ton of bananas fell on his head and all over him. He was covered in squashed banana, which really pissed him off. On a chair, there was a banana and a note. The note said:

Rory, we went rafting in the raft. If you want to catch up, you have to take the banana boat. See you at our camp near the BIG water-fall.

Sincerely, S-M & W

P.S.: Do you want a banana?

 Rory didn't want the banana, so he went in the banana boat to go down the river. As he was going down the river, he noticed all of the things in nature around him. Trees, water, bushes, rocks,... WaggleDorf and Squirrel-Man,... WAGGLEDORF AND SQUIRREL-MAN?!?!? "Hey!" Rory helled to them. He had passed them up. Then Rory's friends started to yell towards him. "...rappids...water-fall...!" That was all he heard them say. He thought for a second, and then looked ahead of him. He went over the water-fall and into the city.

*SWOOSH*

When he woke up, he was on the hard cement by the banana export, by the river. Rory wasn't sure where he was, so he started to wander around.

When the day was over, he came close to death 88 times. He was almost ran over, shot at by gangs, chased by Korean butchers, and a whole lot more. He was exhausted. He dragged himself over to a garbage can to sleep. Then he awoke right away when he heard a sound. *Munch-Munch-Munch* He looked on top of the garbage can and saw a she-raccoon. "Hi, I'm Brenna." it said. "Good for you." said Rory, and went back down to sleep. "I know a place you can rest. And eat, too." "Eat what?" "This banana." "Why does everyone try to give me bananas?!?!?!? "Its food, so eat it!" Rory ate the banana, and then he spit it out. It made him spew all over. It was the nastiest thing he has ever tasted. But it changed his life. Within the year, he married Brenna (Darion was jealous), he invented cold fusion, made a sea-monkey industry, and became the world's most famous talking raccoon. He is a billionare and had 50 litters of kids.

The End!

(WaggleDorf and Squirrel-Man got ran over by a business truck.)