11-3-2000 I wonder if I will ever understand human beings. I think I am giving up on Beautys Castle. I've decided not to go unless specifically asked to come in. Too much history. Or maybe it's that I just can't watch people I call friends interact in a friendly fashion with the person whose hurt me worse than anyone has who was not my Lover. It makes me wonder, is it truly that..do harm and you'll become even more the pet? Do good and get stepped on every time?
I feel like I should be devotiong more time to myself anyways. It's not like I will miss the velcro collars or the soap opera's that continue despite the Mmany who vocalize how they wish the place was a warm and welcoming place of learning.
The truth is, chat is like the schoolyard. There will always be cliques. There will always be rumors and there will always be people who hurt you and are coddled despite it. There will always be those trying to helm the ship and those favoured few who can do no wrong, no matter what. I, instead, will dedicate my online time to what it began as, a journey to find out who I am and who I can be for the One who has only been good and loving and kind to me.
That's all folks.
10-29-00 My rant for the day. If you are going to have multiple screennames to fit your many *moods* atleast have the grace to tell people who you are; Please don't stoop to the level of hurting a multitude of people and then think staying away a few days..weeks..or months..and then coming back with a new name (or several) will clean the slate. You'll always be recognized. And it's such a messed up thing to do. Don't go around spouting about how you hate players and people who hurt people and then change their names..and then help perpetuate *new identities* of those who do it because they're *favoured*. It's a viscious and cruel game these people play..that leave real people hurt and scarred. 'nuff said.
10-27-00 I have no disagreement with people who are not in committed relationships having multiple play partners. It is not my place to judge; what bothers me are those Dominants who keep stables of submissives especially those that then could never imagine one of their stable taking more than one Dominant. How can anyone have a long lasting, truly fulfilling journey into Domination and submission if one feels they are waiting for a scrap of attention? If one feels their Dominants attention is split five..six...ten ways? How can a Dominant truly honor such a gift as submission by constantly spreading His or Herself thin with multiple submissives? Perhaps it can work. I have yet to see it.
10-23-00 Welcome to my world. *slow lazy grin* I decided I needed a place to just..speak on whatever..whenever I want..as little or as much as is on my mind. Maybe I can move you, maybe I can teach you, maybe I can make you laugh..or just maybe..one day you might shed a tear with me. But, this is just the start. A Hello....~s~
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