I've been asked many times in the last eighteen months what it is I think a new Submissive should look for in a potential Partner. These are some of the answers I've given: (Using He here just to save space). 1. Honesty - Being Honest means really telling Y/your Partner how Y/you feel, no more little white lies to cover up. Honesty must start within Y/yourself and that can at times be a difficult mirror to gaze into, but Y/you'll find the rewards are tenfold. 2. Communication Skills - If Y/you can't talk to each other then what chance do Y/you really have of a long lasting relationship? Don't be afraid that one day you may run out of things to talk about.. In a relationship revolving around growth as individuals and Together.. there will always be plenty to talk about! 3. Humor - I don't know about Y/you..but I like to laugh and I really need Someone who can appreciate that quality in me. Laughter can be the best medicine in the world when stress or arguements arise. If you can laugh at yourself, then you're doing alright. *ss* 4. Humility - Someone who doesn't assume because He is a Dominant, that I am required to think of Him as "Master So and So". Someone who doesn't think ~wearing a (vt)Cap~ makes Him any better than myself. Labels should not intimidate you. For the sake of v/t they are useful tools, but keep in mind that no one is any better than ~you~ are. 5. I would suggest to a new Submissive to make a list (a long list) of questions for a potential Partner. If He cannot or will not answer those questions, I'd give that relationship more than a second thought. 6. I can never stress enough to a new Submissive to ~Take your time!~. Rome wasn't built in a day and your relationship won't be either. Talk to ~many~ different Dominants. BE CHOOSEY! This IS your well being at risk here. Rushing can lead to mental or physical abuse. There are some ~Dominants~ out there who unfortunately bide thier time waiting for some naive woman/man to come along to manipulate, use, and discard. If you are new in your journey..no doubt you are..filled with excitement.. and those endorphins can certainly shout "Go! Go! Go!" ~Take your time!~. Take the elements You like in certain Dominants over time and combine them and then find that ~One~ who most closely holds all those attributes. 7. Saying "No!"- Don't be afraid too. I know that often new submissives somehow feel they are required to do anything they are told by a Dominant simply because..that person is a Dominant. I show respect to E/everyone unless they show me they aren't worthy of it. I do Not give my submission to each Dominant I meet. ~Your~ Submission is a ~GIFT~ and a priceless one at that. Don't give it out so freely. It should be Earned. 8. Remember this - If a Man/Woman walks up to you and tells you they are a Dominant and then expects you to fall to your knees and *serve*..walk away. That person wouldn't know the first thing about what true Dominance or Submission is. You are not a puppet because you are a Submissive. You are not ~weaker~. You are no less than a Dominant. You are merely the other side to the coin and just as important. 9. Limits - A good Dominant will find out your Limits early on and keep them in mind should Y/your relationship flourish. A Dominant worth His salt will know at exactly what point to push His submissive's limits and when to slow down and when to stop. 10. Safe Words - No matter how much you think you can trust the Person you are sceneing with or developing a realtionship with.. ~Always~ have your safe word ready. An easy pattern to remember is: Green = Go, Yellow = Caution, and Red = Stop. After a lengthy relationship, when Both of Yyou know each other as well as you know yourselves than a discussion on doing away with safewords could possibly take place. 11. ~TRUST~ - Would you trust just anyone to watch your children? Perform sugery? No. So don't trust just Anyone with ~your~ priceless ~GIFT~. Your Submission. Again, ~Take your time!~. Anything worth having..truly is.. worth waiting for. 12. Your Dominant should build you up, not tear you down. He should be Someone capable of admitting that He too.. can make mistakes. He should be someone that can say when something is beyond His realm of experience. He should be in a constant state of growth..just as you should be. Don't be afraid to let your Dominant know..when you need more of something or less. A good Dominant will appreciate you coming to Him and letting Him know if your needs have changed and how.