My Submission
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Submission means many things to many different people.
To submit..one is essentially giving up total or partial control
to another Person..whether it is for one prearranged scene or
for a long term 24/7 relationship. Only ~you~ can decide how much
control you need to relinquish. It is my ~personal~ belief that one cannot be ~taught~ to be submissive. You may be able to
perform as a submissive..~just as i could very well ~perform~ as
a Dominant..but submission..is something felt in the heart..in the
Soul. Submission for me began long before I even knew the word "submissive" existed. Since I was a child, I have had a ~need~ to make people happy, to see them smile...that is what made me happy..content. I journeyed into relationships where my partner was most often times very controlling..not in a good sense but in truth..they were very abusive relationships..with myself trying and trying to ~make things better~...thinking such things as "if i could just make the house clearner".."if i could just keep the baby from crying"..on and on these thoughts were foremost in my mind. No longer was i happy..yet felt sure that my unhappiness was entirely my fault..that I was failing in my ~duties~ to be a loving and ~pleasing~ partner. *soft smile* How wrong I was. About eighteen months ago I found a place where I finally...fit. I came across the site of www.castlerealm.com and SubSpace. Reading those pages felt like..waking up..coming Home. I had found me. Being in a Dominant/submissive relationship, especially one that goes 24/7 RT, one quickly finds out that a D/s relationship is just like any other relationship in the regard that you really must work at it to keep alive and strong. Perhaps even harder than the ~normal~ vanilla relationship. Y/you must work out the dynamics of how and when Y/you can implement D/s into Y/your everyday life without scaring the neighbors or the people across from Y/you at the restaurant, and not only must Y/you work on the D/s aspect of Y/your relationship but also fight the stresses of real time bills..rent..kids..illness..family..etc. It's nothing A/anyone should enter into wearing rose colored glasses, for Y/you would quickly find those glasses in piesces beneath Y/your feet. When entering into my own relationship which I consider to be R/t and V/t..(I consider it to be All time)..I was still relatively in the infancy stages of realizing the full impact of what a D/s relationship meant when I met John, I think if I am truly honest, like many other submissives who have just come to realize *who* they are but do not yet fully understand the dynamics of a full time D/s realtionship, I was hoping to be tucked up under His strength and released from all else but..Pleasing Him. Well, that is true to a certain degree, after my daughter, my number one priority Is to Please Him but it doesn't erase that W/we are separated by distance for now or that the bills keep rolling in or all the other things that weigh on my mind and His day after day. It's no fairytale that's for sure, oh His definitely my Prince Charming and i love Him like I have never Loved another but it's definitely real..everyday W/we survive together is another success, more evidence that ~We~ will make it as ~One~. My wish is that all those new submissives and Dominants out there will realize that jumping into a *relationship* does not mean Y/you've just thrown out all Y/your worries and stresses and that most likely Y/you will have to work harder and commuincate more fully than Y/you ever have before and realize all great things....take time. *ss* |
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