Sex = Male (duh Louie!)
Age = 37 (at least in 2000 it is)
Height = 6' (even)
Weight = NOYDB
Education = Some (hey, I graduated public high school and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
Location = A galaxy far, far away... It's called Ranger Land... Other people call it Dallas, Tx... and yes... maybe I did shoot JR... so what?
Current Occupation = Network Administrator and Writer
Former Occupation = You name it... I've done it... Well almost...
My Car = 
Yes this is my car!!! I have a 1995 Chevy 2500 4x4. It's green and gray with an extended cab and a 8 foot bed. It's a big truck, kinda like me! ... That was my car... lost it in my last divorce... Goodbye Vette... it was nice knowing you!!! I'm going to miss that car!!!
What else do you want to know??? Email me...[email protected] ...I'll either add it or laugh at you...
I was born a coal miners daughter... no I wasn't, but it sounded good at the time I wrote this.... Actually I was born in West -
BY GOD - Virginia. I am proud to say that I am from W.VA.... and no my parents were not related! Although we are still
wondering about a couple of my cousins....and yes I have heard every W.VA joke and Redneck joke there is... Hell, I tell the
good ones every time I go back home... Nothing is better than sitting on the front porch with a cold pop and telling redneck
jokes. Then explaining them to my family....Hell I might even put a few on this page... then again, maybe I won't.... you'll just have to look for yourself....
Anyways... I was raised in a suburb of Washington D.C. and spent my summers back home in W.VA. I grew up like most kids
in that time... back when the parents had the right, no make that the obligation, to to whip the tar out of you for being bad...
even the neighbors got a crack at you if they could catch you doing something wrong... like filling their mailbox with a loaded
mouse trap and shaving cream (Yes that was me, but you all never caught me!).
Meanwhile... I was so damn lucky to get blessed with a younger brother, so I always had someone to pick on... and thank god
he could out run me as a child... that's the only way he survived... I swear... even today... if I could catch the little shit, I'd whip
what tar is left in him out.
So the moral of this story is... my early years were traumatic and I should not be held accountable for my actions. Yeah right...
I can only blame my pitiful life on one thing... WOMEN! I love'em and I hate'em! They did this to me... They made me the
babbling lunatic that I am... and I have enjoyed knowing each and everyone of them... But trust me... they made me this way!!!!
But PLEASE don't try to change me... I'm very comfortable the way I am! Well OK... you can try to change me.. but be
warned... I'm pretty hardheaded... :)~
Like I said... women did this to me... or should I say one particular woman is the reason Ranger99 exists... So you all can just
hunt her down and do what you must to exact the revenge you so justly deserve... Ranger99 came about really in 1982. A girl
named Donna had captured my heart and soul and then crushed me like a bug under her shoe... So to recover I developed an
ultra ego ( no I didn't mean an alter ego, an ultra ego.) to protect my delicate side from ever getting crushed again ( no it didn't
work, but you all still have to pay for it!!!)... That or I just joined the Army and became a Ranger and then used it as a
computer Alias and added 99 to the end... Well OK... both of them are true... sheesh... tough crowd! So anyways... Ranger99
raised up from the goop on the side walk, like the Pheonix from the smoldering ashes of destruction, to become the Ultra Ego of Dave!. Ranger99 is here to protect Dave from the real world and he is doing a DAMN good job of it! Problem is... the real world keeps trying to get in my way... when will it realize that if would just do things my way everything would be fine....
I don't know and neither do my therapists... yes there are more than one... well over the years there have been several... most
of which have left the profession...But it wasn't my fault... OK... yes it was...Really, Dave is just a guy that over the years has
developed a split personality... Oh did I mention... I am a Gemini....and depending on the hour is either Dave or Ranger99...
Dave is the sweet, kind, gentle guy that loves kids and animals... Ranger99 is the mean, angry, belligerent S.O.B. that you have
all come to love and respect....
A couple reasons really... One, I love to write, two, I like to make people laugh, and three it keeps me from being in public
with you! So I figured I'd just give you all a reason to live and to show you that even really cool people screw up. OK??? Oh
and one last reason... because what I write here and what I say is what goes on inside my head... and I have this need to share
it with you. And you always have the right to stop reading... don't know why you would... but you can... go back to the rules
and see for yourself...
Well you have a choice to make.... you can either follow the links or leave... I don't care which... Just either lead, follow or get
out of the way!!! People are trying to read here. or you could just.... LEAVE!!!! but you won't do that... will you???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... God I crack myself up!!!!