Dave! goes to jail??? Say it ain't so...

Two things Brought Ranger back from the grave to protect poor Dave! once again...

Yes, Ranger! had retired for a while, Dave! was out playing on the net and didn't need Ranger anymore, so He retired him to a life in the past tense... then one night when Dave! was least expecting it... Dave! got jumped by a Nazi Storm Trooper and Ranger riding back to the rescue!!! So what were the two things that brought Ranger back???

A Napoleon Complex having, Nazi Storm Trooper on the Maryland State Police Force and a Judge that sits on the
District Court of Maryland for Frederick County!

(Disclaimer... the views given on this page are mine alone... the story is true... but no, I cannot prove that the trooper
involved is now or ever has been a member of the Nazi party and he won't submit to a psychological exam or a lie detector test... but I know what the truth is... The story that follows is the truth and what happened did happen... so draw your own
conclusions...)

So What happened??? Well read it and see....

 

Frederick County, MD...

Frederick County is a small farming community in central western Maryland.. just north of Montgomery County, MD and North of Washington, D.C.. This particular community has grown quite a bit in the last ten years... but even though it now has cable TV and a Walmart... most of the residence are still ass backwards, inbred and KKK members... and yes there have been many stories of the males there raping farm animals...Trust me... All of the West Virginia jokes were developed on the Real Frederick County population....

Dave! Gets towed....

On October 3, 1997, I decided it would be kinda nice to pick up a couple of friends and go for a drink... my mistake was having friends in Frederick County... I went there to take them out... problem was... one of my friends was still at work... so I took his girlfriend out for a drink... never thinking anything about it... Second mistake... So anyways... We go to this little bar called Charlie's Place Too and order up a drink and while I'm flirting with the bartenders, my friend shows up to see what we are doing... Well he never told me he had this rule about towing people that take his girlfriend out for a drink...(yes he drives a tow truck) and as I'm sitting there at the bar flirting my ass off... he hooks up my truck to his tow truck. After he finishes that he comes in... orders a coke and asks for my keys... when I asked him what for, he told me he was towing my truck...Well the race was on... I ran outside to try and lower my truck and he ran for the cab of the tow truck... well the cab was closer and he won and drove off with my truck... well I'm standing there trying to figure out whether I should be pissed or I should start laughing... it was funny... but hell it was my truck heading off down the road, backwards....

 

Dave! meets a drunk...

So here I am standing in this parking lot, trying to figure out whether to laugh or cuss and this drunk walks up to me... well he
starts talking to me... but I couldn't understand a damn thing he was saying... he didn't have his teeth in and he smelled like a
barnyard... So I asked him to leave me alone and he took offense to that... and decided to tell me that he was going to kick my
ass... yeah... like that was going to happen... anyways... I look at him and told him to throw the first punch... he balls up his fist
and starts to swing when two of his friends grab him... they apologized to me and told me they would get him out of there... I told them that I thought it was a good idea... so they started to drag him off, when in rides the NAZI STORM TROOPER...

 

Dave! meets a Nazi...

So in rides this Napoleon Complex having Nazi Stormtrooper... His name is Officer W.C. Hyser... I figure the W.C. must stand
for Wilted Cock...But who knows... seems that the troopers don't have to provide their full names... something about being afraid that someone will start to mess with them if they did... :)... So anyways back to the story... ol Wilted Cock comes flying into the parking lot with his lights flashing and screeches to a halt between me and Goober and his friends... now this is where I get really confused... if I were a cop and I see three men in a parking lot struggling, two of which are dragging the third off I would probably walk over to them and try to find out what is going on... but not Good old Wilted Cock... nope... he decides to rush up and jump in my face and ask me... and I quote..." What the FUCK is your problem?" Well I ask you... is that anyway for a police officer to speak to a tax paying citizen?? I think not...So I respond with... "Nothing but your breath, Officer." at which point he orders me to step back... which I did... only to have him step up into my face again... at this point I turn to my friends girlfriend who had come outside to see where I went off to and told her to watch the cop so she could witness what he was doing... at which time Wilted Cock told her to move along... to which I replied that he could only abuse his police powers on one citizen at a time... he then ordered my to step back again... which I did... with witnesses... and he steps back up to me and told me that he had just became my worse nightmare...so I told him he couldn't be my worse nightmare... that he wasn't Cindy Crawford with her pussy sewn shut... he didn't find that too amusing... so he tells me to step back for the third time and I do and ask him if we are going to dance the parking lot and if he was going to respect me in the morning... at which time he told me he had had enough of my smart mouth... seems too many people had started to gather and even his back up was laughing at him... well at this point he decides to tell me to step next to the car... so I did and he tells me to shut my mouth or he is going to arrest me... so I told him if he could arrest me with no reason nor violation of any law then to do it... He then told me that if I opened my mouth one more time he was going to arrest me... so I did the only thing I could do... I opened my mouth... I didn't say anything... just gave him a good view of my tonsils.... well I guess he didn't find that as amusing as everyone else did... because the next thing I knew....

Dave! goes to Jail...

I'm busted... the cuffs go on and he starts patting me down... well this is when I realize he gets cheap thrills cause he takes the
back of his hand and slams me in the crotch...yes it did hurt... hurt like a bitch... but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction...
so I just look at him and told him that I'm not that kind of a guy... I insist on dinner first... well this really pisses him off and his cop friends are rolling on the ground laughing and the bar has closed so the parking lot is full of people laughing at this cop... well this is all he can stand... so he puts me in the cruiser and takes me to jail...

 

Dave! Finds Jail funny...

So we drive down to the Frederick county jail and Dave! is curious... So I ask Wilted Cock if I get my own cell or if I have to
share with all the other people that get arrested for standing in parking lots... Wilted Cock decides to shut up and not say anything else... he just takes me inside... which was pretty cool... for a while... Once inside old Wilted Cock sits me down and starts asking me all these questions... so I get pissed... because I do have the right to remain silent you know.... so I look at him and ask for a piece of paper and a pen... he hands them to me... why I don't know... but I take out my wallet, hand him my drivers license and on the paper I write my social security number and my attorneys name and phone number... then I hand it back to him and tell him as politely as I know how that there is ALL the information he needs and that I will not be saying another word... Well old Wilted Cock just didn't get it and starts to ask me more questions...so I just look at him... he again asks me questions... and I still just look at him like he is crazy... well he got really pissed and told me if I didn't answer his questions he would lock me up and leave me there... well this cracks me up because I know that by this time my friends have contacted my attorneys... and everyone knows where I am... so I just laugh at him... I'm sorry... but damn what kind of morons do the Maryland State Police hire???

 

Dave! meets a nice cop...

So anyways... ol Wilted Cock throws a temper tantrum and storms out of the office I was in... as I just laugh at him... he did
break the pen when he threw it against the wall... so anyways... ol Wilted Cock leaves me there by myself for about 20 minutes
when in comes one of the deputies for Frederick County. Now I'm sitting there wondering what was going to happen next... were they going to play nice cop, bad cop... or just bad cop, bad cop... Hey I watch Hill Street Blue and NYPD Blue... I know how these things go... so anyways they bring in Mr. nice cop... I wish that I would have gotten his name... because he really was a nice cop... He sat down and started explaining the process to me and asked if I needed him to call anyone for me... so not falling for good cop act... I turn to him and tell him that I have supplied Wilted Cock with all the information he needed to process me and that I was going to remain silent... he just looked at me said cool... then he started to fill out the rest of the paper work... he did try to ask me one other question but I just looked at him and he said never mind... and finished his paper work... then he leaves and a new asshole shows up...

 

Dave! meets bad cop and powerful magistrate...

This one is as big a prick as Wilted Cock... Frederick County Deputy Bard...so I just look at him like he is stupid ... When I refused to talk to him he figures he can make me talk... assholes will never learn that Dave! is a stubborn asshole!!! Especially when Ranger is out... so after he slams me into a couple of walls and puts the cuffs back on me and tightens them down really tight and I just laugh at him ...he takes me to get my picture taken... of which they didn't give me any prints... I was so bummed... and they finger printed me... which just wasn't my color... then Asshole Deputy Bard takes me to see the magistrate... now this is how fucked up Frederick county is... I'm not allowed to have my attorney present... Nice Cop had told me when the pics were taken that my attorneys had shown up... but the magistrate wouldn't let them in to talk to me... so I sit in his office and look at him like he is stupid... which he is... He starts asking me questions... so I repeat that he has all the information he needs to process me and that I am not saying another word until I have an attorney present... well this pisses him off... he isn't use to someone challenging his supreme authority... so he locks me up for 16 hours... that was when the other Magistrate came on duty and figured out what was going on... she let one of my attorneys in and they processed me out... needless to say... I needed a smoke!!!!

So that was my night in jail.... I found it a very enlightening experience... can't believe how much power these people have and
how they can abuse your civil rights and get away with it...but oh well... until the American people wake up, this shit is going to
keep happening ... So you think the story over there??? HAHAHAHA... not on your life!!!! it gets better!!!!

 

Dave! goes to court...

Well, Tuesday December 16, 1997 was my big day in court... I was prepared... I had witnesses... I had court cases to back my
position... I was ready to rock and roll.... that was until I got to meet the Judge from hell... His name??? get this one... and he is
actually proud of it.... Judge W. Milnor Roberts.... hahahahah yes that's right ... he goes by Milnor... hahahahaha... I knew I was
screwed... but shit...Screwed by a Milnor?.... so anyways... I first knew I was screwed when a case before mine was an African American kid that was charged with riding his bike down a city street... well OK... the bike was unregistered... I never knew that there was a law that said you HAD to register your bikes... but I guess Frederick County needs the registration fee.... so anyways, from the testimony you could tell the cop that stopped him was trying to see if he had drugs and when the kid didn't the cop had to bust him for something to validate the stop... he needed probable cause and the only thing the cop could come up with was no sticker on the bike.... so this Judge... ol Milnor himself... busts this kid for riding his bike down a street... unbelievable... I knew then that I was screwed... but I was still hoping ol Milnor would use some Vaseline... but nope... he didn't... when my turn came... we all testified... we proved the cop was lying his ass off... I had witnesses that swore to what they saw... the cop changed his story twice...under oath!!!... then we had court cases that proved that what I did was not against the law... hell we had 4 cases from the Maryland Court of Appeals and one from the Supreme Court but does the judge bother to even read the cases??? Hell no... all he knows is that it is getting close to dinner time and he needs to put money in the county coffers... so he finds me guilty!!!! ME!!! Dave!!! Guilty of disturbing the peace... I couldn't believe it.... so anyways... my sentence for being a convicted disturber of the public peace.... well how about 30 days in jail... suspended..., probation for 18 months... unsupervised...., 32 hours of community service.... hahahaha that's going to be fun!!!, $500 fine... $250 suspended, Criminal costs... $20.00 and something called CICF of $35.00... I think it is the Judges own fund... the Cause I Can Fund... but not too sure of it...

 

Dave! Doesn't take this laying down...

So what is Dave! doing about this travesty of justice??? Well one he is working on an appeal... just waiting to see how much it will cost me... and I am writing this... I want to embarrass these maggots... plus I am supplying you my readers with the cops
address... so please feel free to write him and let him know just how you feel about the injustice he hands down.... anyways... I do ask that you email all your friends and anyone else on your email list and let them know about this... I know it is like spam... but I think it is worth while... and as Americans we need to start standing up for our beliefs...and our rights!!! We are letting Cops and Judges just strip away our freedoms without saying a word... we have to fight back... if by doing nothing more than sending these people a letter and letting them know that we are aware of them and are watching them....

I don't have email addy's ... but I do have snail mail.... or you can just call his Captain and complain...

Trooper W.C. Hyser

Barrack "B" Frederick - Frederick County
1001 W. Patrick St.
Frederick, MD 21702
301-663-3101

PS... Since writing this story, Ol' WC has been suspended once, mostly due to people writing in... Keep it up and maybe we can get him fired.

Appealing the decision was going to take 6 months and $5,000. I didn't have the cash so I dropped the appeal, did the community service, paid the fine and court cost and moved to Texas... and guess what... it ain't much better here... I guess like in every job... there are assholes and their are cool people... too bad the assholes make it so difficult for the cool ones.

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