Things I really hate!
1) Women that change you into what they think they want you to be and then when you do exactly what they want you to do, they dump you. Guys...I don't care what anyone else tells you... do not fall for this trap!!! They liked you enough in the clothes you were wearing to go out with you to begin with, they will NOT like you in the clothes they pick out for you!!! I don't care how much they tell you that you would look better, you looked just fine in the old clothes and whatever you do guys... don't EVER fall for that line about communicating... you know the one... "Oh Honey, we could have such a better and closer relationship if you would only open up and discuss your feelings." It's a trap!!!! Run... guys... or better yet... just grunt and keep watching the game... there is a reason we don't communicate our feelings so stick to it.... and don't fall for some Phil Donohoe crap about this being the 90's... Just sit there and grunt!
2) Assholes that drive 55 MPH in the left lane... hey assholes... Yes I do own the road so get out of my way... pull to the right you inbred SOB's!... I swear... one day you will all hear about some crazy person that started playing demolition derby on the freeway... and it will be because some Liberal, hippie, dumb shit decided to play cop and make everyone else go the speed limit... I swear... I'm going to lose it and just smash every car that won't get out of my way... Yes I do have a plan... I'm going to go to a junkyard... get me an old beat up pickup truck for parts, get it running, paint it jet black and weld two heavy I beams to the bumpers... then paybacks will be mine!!! And no I really don't care if someone dies... trust me... they'll deserve it!
3) Right to lifers that think their calling in life is to tell other people what to do... Hey get a life and start adopting some of the unwanted orphans we already have... When all children have good homes with loving parents... then start worrying about abortions. You ain't God and you don't have the moral right to speak for him!!!! If you don't believe me, read the damn bible you are so willing to thump!
4) Anyone for banning weapons of any type in the U.S.... Hey losers... get a grip!!! Have you ever read the constitution?? Do you realize why the second amendment was inserted into the constitution in the first place?? It was to keep a dictator from taking over the government by using our own military against us... or do you live in such a happy, colorful, drug induced place that you could never see that happening?? If you really don't think it can happen... then get all your people together and vote for me as president... I guarantee you I will disarm every person in the U.S.... followed shortly there after by marshal law... and 90% taxes... just think... I'll have 230 million unarmed, mindless idiots working to make me rich and powerful... hell I could then be ruler of the world and you will only have yourselves to thank.
5) Stupid pointy haired managers. enough said... if you are one you'll never see yourself as one and if you work for one you understand completely!
6) People that can't take a joke!!! (screw them!)
7) People that just don't get it....
8) Liberals!
9) Ex- smokers... God they are a pain in my ass! Hey Duh Louies! If you don't like my smoke... walk the fuck away! Trust me... I'm not going to chase you down and force a cig on you! I really don't care if I'm going to die of Lung Cancer... We are all going to die... Wake up!!! What makes you think you are going to live forever??? Once you reach 65 all you are is a non driving, blue hair having, early bird special eating, drain on society. Do us a favor and die already! Of course if you keep saying dumb ass remarks concerning my smoking you're going to die a MUCH more painful death!
10) People that send me unsolicited emails and then expect me to be nice to them... these people fall into two categories... the first is that of people that just don't get it and two, telephone salesmen. Hey you called me. I didn't call you... so whatever happens is your own fault! Can we all say "take responsibility for our own actions"??? DUH!
11) People that pretend to be your friend just for the purpose of seeing what they will get out of it... Hey dickheads! I'm on to you and you aren't fooling me... I know you, tolerate you, but in the end I'm going to screw you... I have no real friends... I know this and actually want it this way... so beat feet!
12) Women that can never make up their minds... what am I saying??? women can never make up their minds... that is the definition of women!!!! Well OK... How about women that can't refold maps!!! Yeah that one works... It really pisses me off to come back from a road trip and have to refold all the maps!!!
13) People that don't take care of their animals! Hey dumb fucks! Your pets are not to roam around free!!! They are domesticated!!! That means they rely on you actually using your brain!!! I realize that is a difficult task, but if you can't manage to take care of your pets, then don't get them to start with!!! God you people royally piss me off! And the real kicker is that you will be the first ones to breed!!! Not only will I have to watch out for your pets... but I'll have to deal with your offspring as well! God you should be sterilized!!!!!
14) Macho assholes that think women don't have minds of their own... listen dumb fucks... treat women with a little respect and give them the room they need to spread their wings and they will make you beyond happy! Just think... opps sorry... forget you can't think with all that bullshit betwen your ears... well just listen to me... if they didn't love you they wouldn't be there in the first place... so stop acting like the shitheads you are and just leave them alone.... love them, appreciate them and tell them how much you care... you'll be surprised at what they will be capable of doing... and trust me on this one... when they want to make you happy... YOU WILL be VERY happy! If you can't do this then let them go... you will be happy and so will they!
15) Deceptive women... ladies... can't we all get along?? Just be honest... it is best for the long run!!!!
Things I kinda like.
1) Sexually aggressive women!!!
2) My 1996 Vette! (wish I still had it...)
3) Computers!!!
4) Dogs!!! My dogs especially! (Go Airborne!!! ... Go Monty!!!!)
5) Children!!! Yes I love children... I hope to get to them before their parents corrupt them!
6) Rain... I can't help it... I just love to be out in the rain... I think it comes from my mother never letting me splash in puddles as a child.
7) Dilbert!
8) The Far Side
9) Calvin and Hobbs
10) Blonde jokes.
11) Being politically Incorrect! What's with this politically correct bullshit?? Could someone explain it to me?? What??? we have no self esteem so we have to make shit up to make ourselves feel better??? Screw that!!! You are what you are... screwed up!!! now lets get back to the real job at hand!!!!
12) Pissing people off for no reason other than my own amusement. Yes you people are amusing when you get pissed off... like I'm going to care if you are pissed or not... trust me ... I don't...
13) Women that like to shave!!!! (you know what I mean...)
14) Writing this HP... I have so much fun!!!! I don't care if no one ever reads it... I have a blast just writing it!!!!