zEDz Online Digest

<> WEEKLY, NOT WEAKLY <>

Issue # 41 ~ Thursday, 27 April, 2000

"A person learns well by seeing with their eyes wide open, like a child." --Zedwaldo

Zeditorial

"Stooges"

On Monday of this week I turned on and warmed up my television and slipped in a VCR tape in order to watch and record "The Three Stooges." It was a special on ABC about the lives of the Horwitz brothers, better known as Moe, Curly, and Shemp Howard. Together, with their friend Larry Fine (real name: Louis Fienberg), they made comic history as "The Three Stooges." Check out the connections in the URL section below.
    It seemed that the more my brothers and I loved watching (and acting like) The Three Stooges, the more my mother threatened to ban us from watching Saturday television. I mean, c'mon Mom! What harm could watching three knuckleheads in action do to three young boys? Well, she kept the hammers under lock and key, and we had to take it outside after the television overheated from the excitement (or was it us that overheated?). We survived our childhood and grew up into Adult Children. Just ask any man's wife... he's an Adult Child.
    I have actually worked on jobs where the organization was so comical that I was beginning to think that I was in the middle of a Stooges episode. Recently, I was working alongside a young knucklehead (who had shaved his head and recently had his eyebrow pierced). He was goofing off, and I asked him if he ever watched any of the Three Stooges movies. He said that he didn't like the Stooges, and furthermore, if I was leading up to remarking that he looked like one of them, he would have to slap me in the face (or perhaps administer an equally uncomfortable stroke). I guess he didn't get the finer point of why I asked him the question. But now that I think of it, he did resemble Curly... but he wasn't as funny.
    I prefer to watch multiple stooges on television. It just goes to show that there are Stooges in real life. It's too bad if you are a Stooge and you don't know it, so pay attention the next time a knucklehead slaps you in the face... it just might be a wake-up call.

;-)

Poetry

Here is a cute one that was sent to me by Email...

-----Original Message-----
----- Original Message -----

From: DM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was slightly gray.
It didn't have a father,
Just some borrowed DNA.

It sort of had a mother,
Though the ovum was on loan.
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone.

And soon it had a fellow clone,
And soon it had some more.
It made the children laugh and sing,
The teachers found it droll;
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control.

No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary.

But now they feel quite sheepish,
Those scientists unwary.
One problem solved, but what to do
With Mary, Mary, Mary?

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Stretch Marks

Bury my troubles
   in a shallow grave;
Just think of all
   the trouble I'll save.

In the near future,
   or a time with cost;
I'll invest my pennies
   in dollars that lost.

Copyright © 2000 E.D.Griswold (aka Zedwaldo), all rights reserved.

Check out my poetry connection:
                      Poetry House of Zedwaldo

;-)

JOKES?

WANTED

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures of the ten most wanted criminals tacked to a bulletin board. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Then why didn't you just keep him when you took his picture?"

Thanks to N.T.

SMOOTH DELIVERY

A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well. The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon.
As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

Thanks to http://www.keepahead,com

JOKE-LINK:

;-)

Heard a good one lately? Clue me in, throw me a bone. I'll take suggestions. Write one yourself and Email it to me. If I like it, I may feature it here.

Links and URL's

Education on the internet... First of all, how much privacy do you want? It is scary to think of how much information that websites can garner from your computer when you visit. I have a counter at the end of my sites, because I want to know if people actually look at my material, but other sites are greedy for more. Here is where you can find the scoop on internet privacy and how you can protect yourself: http://www.privacychoices.org/

Want to dally in the stocks? National or international, experienced or inexperienced, this place will give you a clue: http://www.equityeducation.com/ (pay attention, there will be a test at the end)

Easy money? Don't answer that Email advertisement! The only one who will get rich overnight is the guy that you send your money to... http://netforbeginners.about.com/internet/netforbeginners/library/weekly/aa041600a.htm

Instead of hugging a tree, how about planting a tree instead? Or, if you can't get out and do it yourself, this official organization will accept your donation: http://www.americanforests.org/

The virtual final frontier... start your exploration of space in our own backyard. Find Cool pics of the planets: http://www.spaceandflight.com/ (also check out news and info on airplanes)

The Three Stooges

One of my favorite places: http://www.byrum.org/3stooges/ (kind of like a launching pad of info)
The official website: http://www.threestooges.com/
Collectables: http://www.3-stooges.com/
Unofficial, but really cool: http://www.enteract.com/~graziana/3stooges/
You should be able to get your missing Stooges movies here: http://www.moviesunlimited.com/musite/affiliate/member/2/8020.asp

;-)

Missed any of my ramblings? Check out the Back Issues!

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