I COULD NEVER TAKE THE PLACE OF
YOUR MAN.


***Last Chappie**

� Katrina99

Rated G **safe now**

**Continued from Part 3**

Katrina held Alayna as JJ walked ahead of her with a bag. The reality of what she was about to do hit her like a rock. She turned around looking at the surroundings, trying to soak in the atmosphere before she was actually gone. A tear slid down her eye as she thought about the memories she would be leaving behind. Axles, her and Jon's favorite restaurant; the Sox stadium, so many days she went to the games with Jon or Jordan and once, the whole family as an outing, memories flooded back to her. She'd spent the last 10 years building her life here, and now in just one month, she was throwing it away to flee from the same memories that she cherished most.

"Mommy cry?" Alayna pointed at her mother's tear and wiped it away. Katrina laughed sadly looking lovingly at her daughter.

"Mommy's sad hon." One day she would explain it all to her, when she was old enough to understand.

**UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT 5077 NON STOP TO LOS ANGELES IS NOW BOARDING AT GATE 47. AT THIS TIME WE WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME THE PRE BOARDING PASSENGERS, THOSE NEEDING ASSISTANCE OR TRAVELING WITH SMALL CHILDREN.**

There it was, the announcement that she so looked forward to, but dreaded immensely. Was she doing the right thing or just running away from reality. Whatever it was, she was going. She walked towards the gate trying to put any and all thoughts from her mind.

"Mommy, is there snow in Los Angles?" JJ inquired. At this point he was intrigued with the journey.

"It's Los Angeles honey, and no, there isn't, but we can always drive up to the mountains for snow. But Disneyland's there. With Mickey and Goofy."

"Why isn't Uncle Jordan coming?" The enticement didn't phase JJ. Just the sound of his name broke her heart.

"Uncle Jordan has to stay here sweety. He just can't leave like us. Plus he doesn't have family in LA." She didn't know exactly what to say to him without saying that his uncle Jordan was an self-righteous pig.

"Then mommy, why's he here? Maybe he is coming!" JJ looked happy as he looked past his mommy.

Katrina startled by what he just said turned around to see Jordan walking briskly towards them, his winter coat flying behind him. Before she could even say anything JJ rushed to Jordan and hugged his leg. "You're coming with us aren't you Uncle Jordan?"

Jordan leaned down to his nephew and whispered something into his ear. JJ smiled wide and said o.k. to Jordan, standing aside.

"Jordan, I?our flight is about to leave." She could hardly breathe with him standing there. It had been a month since that fight and here he was, at the most impossible time. "If you're here to make me feel any worse, can it wait? Maybe you can send it to me with a letter." She looked sarcastically at him hiking her shoulder bag over her free arm.

"Katrina, I know this is so last minute, and I have no freakin right to even be here but I just can't let you leave, not like this." He took Alayna from her arms and stood her next to her brother. 'JJ will you watch her?" He pulled Katrina a little bit away so the kids wouldn't hear. "That night scared the shit out of me Kat. I felt like a complete idiot. You were married to my brother, what right did I have to kiss you, to feel the way that I feel whenever I look at you, or think about you."

Katrina looked at him with a neutral expression.

"I know that I'm not Jonathan, and I could never be, I wouldn't want to. In my honest opinion there is no way I could ever live up to him. But, Katrina, God I love you. I am so in love with you that it scares me." Jordan had her hands in his as he pleaded with her. He did not want to lose her, at least without her knowing how he truly felt. "Everything I said the night afterwards was a lie. Like I said, I just couldn't face up to the truth."

"I thought it was me." Was all she said, sadly.

"No that wasn't?well at that time I was more angry at myself than you for giving in to my feelings. I hated myself for doing what I did to you?not the sex, but the way I treated you afterwards. I feel like you're leaving because of me."

"Well." She couldn't disagree with him. She faintly heard the sound of the boarding announcement again. She had to leave if she was actually going.

"You know I'm not the only one that doesn't want you to go. Ma, she'd rather see you here, Dave, Sharon, Chris, hell everyone loves you. Did you forget you've got a family here too?" He looked into her eyes with nothing else to say.

"You hurt me you know. I threw my heart out to you and you stepped on it, twisted your damn foot on it and then threw it in the gutter Jordan. I didn't think that you of all people could be so cruel to me." She was not letting him of this easy. She was aware that they were standing in the middle of the boarding line but it didn't matter to her, they could easy walk aside.

"It was a lie. Everything I said to you and believe me, I regretted the moment it left my mouth, but I didn't know what else to do to try and make things right in my mind. I thought what we did was wrong and selfish, but looking back, I was wrong and selfish for lying to you like that."

"Yes you were Jordan. We were so close, we could have talked through it even and got through it eventually. My biggest fear was losing your friendship Jordan. Do you know how much that means to me, more than a night of sex, and you just wanted to throw it all away."

"I'm so completely sorry Katrina, I love you more than I could ever imagine. Honestly, I've loved you since we first met. I can still remember you skating towards me like a freak trying to stop. The moment that I put my arms around you so you wouldn't fall was a moment that changed my life forever. I'd do anything if you just forgave me." He paused. "And stayed." A tear slowly slid down her cheek as she put her gloved hand to her mouth.

"Oh Kat, I didn't mean to make you cry. I never want to make you cry honey." He hugged her right in the middle of the boarding line, neither of them caring. She openly cried as she hugged him back. He'd made up her mind for her. There was no way she could leave now. As the boarding passengers trickled by them, they held each other tightly, not wanting to ever let go. Jordan pulled her face up and gently traced his fingers around her lips before slowly bringing his to them and giving her the sweetest, yet most powerful kiss that he could give her.

"Excuse me, ma'am? I'm sorry, but if you're on this flight, you'll need to board now." The stewardess felt bad about breaking up this obviously sentimental moment.

Katrina pulled away wiping her eyes on her gloves. "That is quite alright, I'm staying here!" She laughed through her tears and turned to Jordan. "I'm staying here." JJ and Alayna walked over.

"I understand?completely." The stewardess said, smiling at the two. This was something out of a romance novel.

"We're not going on a plane?" JJ looked deflated and both Katrina and Jordan laughed at him.

"Not today dude, but don't worry, I'll take you wherever you want to make up for it." He picked up Alayna and put his arm around Katrina. "Well, shall we?" He felt giddy and lightheaded as the four of them walked away from the gate.

As they walked away, it suddenly dawned on her. "How did you know to find me and that I was leaving?" She stopped and looked up at him. "I told your mom, but she's been out of town."

"A certain very bold friend of yours, tracked me down, collared me and basically threatened me that if I made you feel any worse she'd seriously harm me. Then she basically sat me down and explained to me what I was really feeling and what I needed to do, and I listened, and here I am." He smiled at her.

"Suzi?"

"Suzi!" Jordan laughed and put his arm back around her. "Now, shall we?"

"We shall." She put her arm around his as they headed back down to the baggage claim.

Four years later

The day was bright and sunny, and everyone commented that they couldn't have picked a better day.

"I think Jonathan ordered the sun for this very day." Marlene commented to one of the guests. She thought of her son often and sometimes the pain was still there. But most of her memories were now happy, and they'd all finally moved on the best that they could. She looked at Jon Jr. who, at eight years old, was the just about the spitting image of his father when he was that age. His curly hair was cut short and he wore a nice black tuxedo setting of his tan complexion. He stood with the other boys anxiously awaiting to get this show over with and go outside to play. Alayna stood away from her brother holding her aunt's hand. She looked like an angel with her curly hair surrounded by a wreath of flowers. She was growing into a beautiful little girl who looked exactly like her mother. Marlene smiled thinking of the happiness that once again was coming to her family. She looked up at the ceiling expecting to see Jonathan and she smiled as she heard his voice. "I'm alright mama. This is a good thing."

Jordan stood nervously in the small church waiting room, David, Chris, Tony and Miguel all surrounding him in their tuxes. Any red-blooded female would faint seeing the sight in that room.

"This is it bro, if you're going to back down now is the time to do it." David chided.

"Never. I'm as ready for this as I can be." He sat down and breathed in. He was just nervous. He knew he was doing the right thing. There was no one he loved more. Last night he'd drove down to the cemetery to visit his brother. It was something he had to do before he went on with this. He poured his heart out expressing his love for Katrina, how he didn't want to feel like he was betraying his brother. How he wanted Jonathan's blessings up in heaven. He told Jonathan that he in no way wanted to take his place, that it was inconceivable, but he wanted to make Katrina half as happy his brother had made her.

He had a good cry that night. All of his memories flooded back to him. It seemed Jonathan was right there crying along with him. Before Jordan could move forward, he had to let go of his past. Everything that he'd helped Kat go through, he went through that night. After returning home feeling more at peace with everything in his life he had nothing to do but think about his future. Walking through his living room, which would tomorrow be 'theirs' he came across a picture that was lying on the floor in front of the book case. He picked it up and his heart almost stopped as he looked into the smiling faces of His brother, Katrina and him. For some reason, he could not remember taking the picture at all, even though every memory he had of his brother was embedded in his brain. He looked at Jonathan, his wonderful eyes and smile, the caring nature he always exhumed and more tears came to his eyes. He looked closely and it almost seemed as if his brother were pushing Jordan and Katrina's heads together, as if he knew they belonged together. It was eerie, but yet, it made total sense to Jordan. His brother had just shown him that he wished them well, that he approved.

Now, Jordan stood up and faced his friends and family. "I'm so nervous I want to throw up."

Miguel looked at him and addressed the other guys. "Yep." He said patting Jordan on the back, "He's ready."

"Another one bites the dust." Tony laughed as they all hugged the single Jordan for the last time.

Katrina sat in the dressing room alone. Finally she'd got a moments peace from everyone. She sat facing the mirror, her dress and veil on her head. She looked at herself, thinking of six years before when she sat on her wedding day to Jonathan. "I must be some crazy woman, marrying my brother-in-law" but she knew she wasn't. Theirs was a love that was hard to come by. The only love that she felt more was her love for Jonathan but now it was an unearthly love. She could never love anyone as she had Jon, but she knew that what she felt for Jordan, was deep and growing. "I hope you're smiling up there Jonny. I really hope you can understand what we're doing and not hate us. You know we both love you with all our hearts, but you're gone now, and I've come to accept that, with the help of your loving brother." She sighed as she took out her small photo album and opened it up to a picture of them on their wedding day. She was beautiful, and he, so handsome as they held each other. She'd never been happier than that day, and now that happiness was equaled as she thought of her future. She closed the album just as a picture slid out. She turned it over. It was of her and Jordan with Jonathan in the background. She smiled not quite remembering the story behind the picture but looking into all their eyes. She saw acceptance in Jonathan's eyes. He accepted them, he wished them luck, he would look over them and his children until their dying day. At that moment, she felt a tug at her heart and she knew it was Jonathan relinquishing a piece of her heart for Jordan to capture and she smiled up at the sky. "I love you too, Jon."

"Mrs. Priss, you ready? Is there going to be a wedding today?" Suzi stuck her head in wearing her lavender maid of honor dress.

"There is going to be a wedding, and there's going to be one right now Suzi." She tucked the picture into the busom of her dress and wiped a tear from her eye. Standing up from the table she looked at her friend and grinned the biggest grin as she walked over and linked arms with Suzi.

"Come on, let's go make me a Knight again." Katrina laughed as they walked out to a new future with an old twist.

The End.

****I know it's not quite going with the title, but COME ON, you didn't expect me to NOT make myself happy did you?? I'm just selfish**

THE END
feedback? Katrina 99

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