Kiss 4

You know the song and dance by now. I don't own any of the Gundam Wing characters. I'm not pretending to own any of the characters. This is written for no profit, and is simply for myself and others sick amusement. Don't sue.

Warning: This part of the Kiss stories contains an implied relationship between Duo and Heero. Some unexpected complications arise. To go into any further detail would spoil the story.

Heero managed to unlock and open the door with one hand, the other occupied with holding up his end of the laundry basket. The laundry that was piled as high as his head in the basket swayed threateningly before his other hand came back to steady it. Of course, he still had the keys to the apartment in his hand and the dull metal was pressed painfully between his palm and the basket's handle. "Hurry up, Heero! This thing is heavy!" Duo's voice came at him from somewhere on the other side of the load. The pile shifted dangerously again as Duo adjusted his grip.

"You're the one who keeps putting laundry off until it takes two of us to carry it." Heero stated calmly. The former pilot of Shinagami was not the most responsible person in the world, but this chore was getting ridiculous.

Duo smirked on the other side of the laundry basket. Heero was expecting him to respond, but he wasn't going to. It was time for Heero to figure out that he put off laundry deliberately. His partner could be so slow at times.

"Oh."

"Sometime this year, Heero? I can't feel my fingers!" Duo stated.

They had to turn the basket at an angle to get everything through the door. As soon as it was through Heero dropped his end, and Duo started shoving it with his feet towards the couch. It was just easier than carrying it there.

"Oughtta put damn wheels on this thing," Duo muttered as the thing slid to a halt in front of the couch.

"That wouldn't help us to get it up the stairs," Heero pointed out calmly as he shut the door that Duo had left open. The braided pilot pushed damp bangs from his forehead and eyed the problem at hand.

"I don't see why you bought one this big, Heero. It's big enough to carry a body in!"

Heero gave him a flat look, although the corners of his mouth were twitching. Duo looked up at the unexpected silence to see the flat look. Sudden realization came into his eyes and the braided pilot shook his head. Some things never changed.

"Oh. Well if you do, just don't put any of my laundry in with it. Being death is not the same as smelling like it." Duo grabbed one handle of the basket and waited as Heero made his way around the coffee table to take his side. Once Heero was in place, he counted off. "One. Two. Three."

Together they managed to lift the basket just far enough to tip it onto the couch. Clothes slid from their precarius height to land in a huge pile. The landslide of clothes barely left enough room for one person to sit on the couch.

While Heero picked up a few pieces that had fallen onto the floor, Duo flopped face down into the huge pile.

"Duo, must you do that every time?" Heero asked as he watched Duo burrow into the clean clothes. He had seen it all before, but the action still confused him. It had no purpose that he could discern. But then again, when had Duo needed a reason to do something?

"It's warm and smells good! What could be better?" Duo answered as he soaked up the warmth left from the dryer. He loved clean clothes, especially since his childhood has included a small amount of water and a smaller numbers of baths. He had made a promise to himself that when he grew up he would keep himself as clean as possible. Every reminder of that promise made Duo feel good inside, and washed away some of the darkness of the past.

Heero paused briefly, considering what Duo had said. "Do you want me to answer that?"

Duo raised his head just enough to look over his shoulder. A wicked smile curved his lips as he regarded Heero with false consideration. "You're warm and smell good, too."

"Compared to fresh laundry. Wonderful."

"Jealous?" Duo teased, not at all put off by Heero's manner. He was used to it, even expected it. Especially when there were still chores to do. The dark haired pilot approached most tasks just as he would a mission, and would let nothing distract him. Well, almost nothing.

"Duo, get up and start folding the clothes." Duo smiled and moved suggestively, then pouted when that did not have the desired effect. Heero glared, not at all amused.

"Unless you want to take these shirts back down and dry them again to get the wrinkles out," Heero threatened. Duo thought about it for a moment, then sighed. It would be just like Heero to make him do it if the shirts got wrinkled while they... played.

"Hidoi." Living with Heero had meant that he had had to learn some Japanese, if only in self-defense. Duo sat up and cleared a space for himself, then frowned at Heero's back. The other pilot was heading towards the kitchen. "Aren't you going to help?" he asked, grimacing when it came out more forlorn than he meant it to.

Heero rolled his eyes, as he turned back around. There were dishes that needed to be done, and he should really start dinner. And he seriously doubted the lost puppy dog look Duo was giving him was genuine. Stil.... "Well, I guess I don't have anything better to do right now," he conceded. He cleared a space on the other side of the couch and sat.

"Oh, good," Duo grinned, trying to play off the uncomfortable moment. "Now I don't have to starch your shirts and fold them into origami cranes."

"You wouldn't ... yes, you would. I'll do towels."

* * *

They were almost done when it happened. Heero was carrying a stack of jeans higher than his head, navigating the path to the closet by memory alone, when there was a soft scraping sound from the outer hallway.

He froze, cocking his head to one side. The apartment was quiet, save for the ticking of his watch and the sounds of Duo shuffling clothes in the bedroom. An automobile passed on the street... and the sound came again. Soft-soled shoes on carpet. Noone in this building wore such shoes except the landlord, and he was much heavier than this person. And the landlord didn't waste time trying to be as quiet as possible.

Heero walked swiftly into the bedroom and deposited his clothes on the bed, then leaned forward and put a firm hand on Duo's shoulder. Duo also froze, then finished putting the last shirt into the drawer. He half turned to look behind him, and Heero quickly put a finger to his lips, signaling silence. Duo nodded.

They both listened for a few seconds, then Duo said aloud, "Well, we're almost done. If you'll get the socks I'll start matching them." His intent expression didn't match the mundane words, however, and Heero raised his eyebrows in approval. He quickly but silently pulled his gun from the spring clip under the bedstand, while Duo pulled two military-issue backpacks from under the bed.

Heero's eyebrows raised again as Duo lay flat and began to rummage beneath the bed, finally coming out with a somewhat battered cardboard box. "What the hell?" he mouthed at Duo, who only grinned in reply.

They walked down the hallway to the living room, Heero carefully keeping a normal tread, Duo sauntering. "Man, why do we always come up one sock short? And how is it, if one dissapears every time we do laundry, that we have any left? Does the dryer eat'em, or what? I swear, there must be some type'a deal between sock manufacturers and dryer companies!"

Heero suddenly went still. "I didn't lock the door," he said quietly. He had barely thought about it, and then had gotten involved in helping Duo fold the laundry. Duo almost choked. "You what??" he whispered harshly.

At that moment the door banged open, and two men in plainclothes dived through, weapons cradled against their bodies and pointed outwards.

Professionals, Heero thought, dropping his bag and diving into the kitchen. Dressed to blend in - high quality weapons - one bullet splintered the formica countertop, the other punched through the cabinet only to ring against a steel pot - they're concerned about speed, not stealth.

Suddenly Duo's irate voice rang out loud and clear from the living room.

"You shot my underwear, you bastards!" Two quick shots, followed by two quick thunks, and then there was silence.

Heero cautiously peered out over the cabinet. Duo stood behind the sofa glaring at the bodies of their attackers. Then he reached over the back of the sofa and picked up his black boxers, the bullet hole letting light shine through them. Heero shook his head as he approached.

"I've shot your underwear, Duo," Heero stated calmly. "And you didn't react this badly."

"Yeah, but you were just trying to hit the squirrel." [1] Duo reloaded. "What now?"

"Close the door," Heero stated as he slung put his backpack on. Better to do it now when they had the time and a break in the fighting.

Duo inspected the flimsy, hollow door. The doorknob had embedded itself into the plaster wall, and he had to tug to get unstuck. It shuddered and wobbled as it slowly swung closed. "Well, it's mostly in one piece. The doorknob's still attached, at least. Not going to keep anyone out, though."

"It will now." That and the scraping behind him were all the warning Duo got. He moved out of the way just in time as Heero shoved the overturned sofa against the door. Despite seeing the other pilot's nearly inhuman strength several times, it never failed to shock him into silence. Or to send a little thrill racing down his spine.

Once that problem was taken care of, Duo went to inspect the packages he had dropped. He handled the cardboard box with special care. He held it to his ear for a few seconds, then sighed in relief when no sounds were forthcoming.

"What are you doing?" Heero said suspiciously.

"Making sure I didn't break their present!" the braided pilot said, a strange manicial gleam in his eye. Heero had only seen him get that look over a viewscreen when Duo was piloting Shinagami in the heat of battle. It had always caused warning alarms to go off his head, and the fine hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. Seeing it in person made it twice as disturbing.

The pilot of Shinagami stripped packing tape off the lid of the box, then carefully lifted out what appeared to be a large, welded-shut steamer, trailing wires and attached to an alarm clock. The alarm clock itself looked like it had been salvaged from a dump. It was a cheerfully smiling, cymbal clapping monkey attached to a red plastic clock. Only one eye, a cymbal, and half it's furry little head were missing and the clock part had a huge crack running through it.

The braided pilot set the alarm for ten minutes, hit a button, and grabbed his bag. The grinning monkey began to try to slap the non-existant cymbols together. "C'mon. Much as I wanna see their expressions, I don't want their ugly mugs to be the last thing I see. We can take the fire escape."

Heero took care of the sole man guarding the fire escape, and they were soon moving quickly and quietly down the metal structure. The two dodged down another back alley, jumped a fence, and cut through the back of a Chinese fish market. It was only as they were walking down another street far from their apartment that Heero got enough nerve to ask, "What was that thing?"

Duo grinned. "A surprise. It'll get rid of the vermin." As soon as he spoke a large explosion raced through the streets sending flower pots falling and shaking windows. All around car alarms went off in a cacophony of noise soon followed by sirens and barking dogs. "Kill the cockroaches, too."

The look on Heero's face was priceless.

***

The landlord stared at the wreck before him. Only bits and peices of the walls remained, and smoke still curled slowly from a smoldering pile of what might have been a trashcan. Amazingly, none of the other apartments had suffered any damage other than objects falling off shelves. "What this ...?"

"It's our apartment," Duo said, matter-of-factly. The Chinese man stared, nicotine stained fingers fumbling in his pocket for a cigarette.

Heero's mouth twitched, and he muttered under his breath. The words sounded something like "What's left of it." Duo elbowed him, never taking his eyes from their stunned landlord. Most people didn't know it, but Heero had a sense of humor. Unfortunately, it was very dry and tended to crop up at the oddest moments.

"You ..." The landlord's eyes started to bug out. "You trouble ... you go now! No come back, no get other apartment! I tell others! You go far, far away! No come back!!"

Duo resembled a child being scolded, while Heero took it with stoic calm. They both ignored the shooing motions the landlord made once he finished his speech. Instead Heero walked past him to inspect the damage. Cinders crunched under his shoes as he kneeled down to examine something that vaguely resembled a photograph.

"Don't bother, man," Duo said. "There's nothing left. Nothing recognizable anyways." Heero raised an eyebrow at him as he stood back up. "I didn't know if we would be able to come back," Duo shrugged. "Didn't particularly wanna leave evidence, one way or another."

Heero had the distinct feeling that Duo had done this before. No wonder he had been so eager to sign the renters agreement under Heero's name. And so admant that it be only in Heero's name.

"So where do we stay now?" Duo asked. "Wufei worked his tail off to get us this apartment." Heero took one last look around what was left of their apartment, and turned to his partner.

"I have an idea."

***

"No, no, nonono!! You've gotta be kidding me. Absolutely not! I refuse to take any sort of charity from *her*!" Duo started protesting the minute he recognized the gates. They had been walking for hours following Heero's lead, and he hadn't said a word despite the fact that his feet were killing him. But this was going too far.

"Duo, we don't have much choice. You blew up our apartment." Heero said as he approached the iron wrought gates. He waited impatiently for the braided pilot to follow, but Duo stood stubbornly in the middle of the road.

"So why can't we stay in a motel? I know we passed one not to far back."

"You blew up our apartment. It's already made the six o'clock news, including pictures of us." Thoughtfully supplied by their former landlord, he thought but didn't say. He didn't trust Duo's mood right now. "No motel in their right mind will let us stay. Besides, we don't have much money and I don't want to watse it on anything unnecessary."

Duo kicked a rock, and watched in roll across the road. Heero had a point, but he wasn't going to admit defeat yet. "We could call Wufei, or somebody."

"You blew up our apartment. The one he got for us. Belonging to an old friend of his. You can tell him what happened yourself. I'm staying here." With that Heero pushed the button at the gate. Someone answered, and he stated who he was. Within seconds the front gate was open.

Duo looked slightly green. Explain to Wufei that he had blown up the apartment and leave Heero to the evil clutchs of her. Or spend the night here and help defend Heero from her evil clutches. "Well ... just for one night. Till it all blows over."

Heero gave him a look, but didn't push it.

***

"Heero, I heard what happened to your apartment! Are you alright?" Relena asked, smiling at her good fortune. Duo stepped into the light of the door, and Relena's smile faded. She had hoped when Heero had shown up on her doorstep... well, that was life. She could adapt. "Oh, hello Duo."

Duo bared his teeth. If Relena made one move to touch Heero he was going to rip her head off. "Hello, Relena. I know you're thrilled to see us both."

Heero shot him a quelling look. "We're both fine."

"Oh, that's right. You were staying at Heero's apartment. I'm so glad you're ok." Relena plastered another smile on her face. Sincerity so strong it had to be fake dripped off her voice.

"It was *my* apartment, too." Duo gritted out. She should know. Relena had been over enough times, had seen him there, and knew, whether she admited to herself or not, that he and Heero shared a bed as well as the apartment. She was just being difficult because she had hoped that Heero would come running to her without him. Fat chance.

Relena at least appeared confused. "Then why was only Heero's name on the lease?"

"What are *you* doing looking at our lease??" Duo asked suddenly suspicious.

"Why don't you come in?" Relena offered hastily. "How did you get here? I didn't hear a car."

"We walked." Heero didn't even wonder about how Relena knew it was only his name on the lease. He had long ago resigned himself to the fact that Relena made it her business to know everything about his life. Heaven help if she decided to use her network of informants to find out anything but information about him.

"You must be tired! I'll get you some tea, and maybe a snack? Oh, have you had dinner yet?" She asked as the two boys followed her. Duo couldn't help but be impressed, even though he tried to hide it. Their entire apartment could fit in the foyer with room to spare.

Duo smiled brightly as he brought his thoughts back to the conversation. "Yeah, we stopped at a cafe on the way here." He had never minded charity before, but with Relena he was willing to make an exception.

And almost got thrown out when the news report came on, thought Heero. They had barely managed to get out before the manager had called the police. He tended to be fond of a slightly lower profile then that.

"You will stay tonight, won't you?"

"We'd really appreciate it," Heero replied, relieved that Duo didn't answer. Maybe this was going to work out. Maybe they wouldn't kill each other. Maybe...

Relena smiled politely. "I'll have a couple of rooms prepared for you, then." She couldn't beleive her good fortune. Heero was going to be staying here. Now if she could only figure out a way to get Duo out of the picture. Not that she really thought it would work, but pride wouldn't let her stop trying.

"No need, Jou-san!" Duo practically chirped. "One room will be enough." He draped his arms over Heero shoulders, just for ephasis.

Heero elbowed him. Hard. "I'm sure whatever you have is fine." He half turned his head and gave Duo, who was rubbing his sore solar plexus, a look. His message was clear. Don't screw this up. The message seemed to be loss on Duo.

"Oh, come on, Heero. She's got lots of rooms, one of 'em has to have a double bed." Duo knew that he was taking it to far. He didn't care. He was tired, hurting, and on edge.

Heero, watching Relena's smile turn brittle, almost winced. Just because Relena knew about their relationship, didn't mean she liked it rubbed in her face. And he had no wish to walk back to the hotel just because Duo couldn't control his mouth.

I can be magnanimous, Relena thought as her hands slowly clenched into fists by her sides. "I'll have the help prepare a room." Duo smiled at her, and she had to force the last part out. "With one bed."

"How very kind of you, Relena!" Duo enthused. Inside he was trying not to fall out from shock. He couldn't beleive that she was going to do it.

Heero broke in quickly before Relena could change her mind. Or before Duo opened his mouth again. "We'll only need to stay till we find a new apartment."

"I understand." If you find a new apartment, thought Relena. Fate has brought you here, Heero. Now that I'm so close, I can't let you get away. She had ... plans to make.

__________________________________________________

[1]- The author's would like to state that they have no idea why Duo shot Heero's underwear while trying to hit a squirrel. What these two do in their own time, in their own apartment is quite frankly none of our business. At least in this instance.

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