Sabre: Where the hell is everyone else?
XMG: Two words: Anal sex.

*XMG Bursts in*
XMG: YOUR ALL STUPID!
*XMG throws an orange at Justin which hits him in the head, and rolls on the floor.*
XMG: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! STUPIDS!!!!
*runs away*

XMG: Hey, Im on my feet, now. Im fine, I was only shot 4 times. 2pac got shot 5 times in New York, and he didnt die.....until they shot him again in Las Vegas....but I really dont think he died there either.
*` Toni and Kide enter. They force a smile, deeply contrasting w/ their feelings of doubt.`*
Toni and Kide: *In unison* How is Hassan?
Sabre: I don't even know who "2Pac" is, but he was probably an idiot who wouldn't get his rest. Like you.
::she sits down and broods::
Sabre: Hassan is a psychotic bitch who will be out of my base as soon as possible.
XMG: (To emirate) Still a bitch...
XMG: (To sabre) No, 2pac was a thug. He was thug life born, thug life bred, and when he died he was thug life dead....but did he really die?
*As XMG kicks the bag, the theme from Unsolved Mysteries plays in Sabre's head*

XMG: *does an extremely hard roundhouse, breaking open the bag. He smiles at Tokay and leaves the room, never taking his eyes off of him. When he gets in the other room he grabs his ribs and dances in pain.*

Mother always said I should be a pharmacist...
---Sabre

::Sabre sighs and rolls over::
Sabre: Blech.
XMG: *from the floor*
XMG: Whatd you say?
Sabre: ::sounds mighty irritable::
Sabre: I said "blech". I feel like shit. Next question.
Sabre: And what are you doing, anyway?
XMG: Sometimes I like to masturbate by humping the floor slowly....
Sabre: Oh, me too.
Sabre: ::snorts::
XMG: Really?
XMG: *Gets up and hugs Sabre.*
XMG: Now we can share everything!
Sabre: I love you, son...
*The theme from Full House seems to be coming from nowhere*
Sabre: Stop it with the music playing.
XMG: What? Its fun.
Sabre: I'm sick, and I'm the boss, and I'm in a bad mood, and I say to stop it.
XMG: Alright alright alright, geez, hurry up and have the damn baby already.

Sabre: I hope you'll be available for babysitting.
XMG: You dont want me to babysit. Im a bad influence on you, and your over a decade older than me, imagine what id do to a young soft brained child. Thier like sponges, the young ones are.
Sabre: ::frowns::
Sabre: Good point. Stay away from my baby, you.
XMG: Ha! Kids adore me. Its true. They think im a big blue bald clown.

Sabre: All right. XMG, keep an eye out for trouble, would you?
XMG: Ill tell you if he gets here, sure.

And then...

*a short, pudgy young looking man with glasses is already by XMG.*
Ramus: Hello, I'm Ramus, the Herald of...
*Ramus looks back and forth quickly then looks right back at XMG with a big grin on his face.*
Ramus: ...Trouble!
XMG: Oh.....OK....I guess I was supposed to look out for you then?
Ramus: I'm not sure. do you want to go tell sabre and Clio that they look fatter now that they're pregnant?
XMG: Yes, actually I do.

*Ramus holds out a gun to XMG.*
Ramus: Could you hold this for a second?
XMG: *Holds the gun*
XMG: What do you have this for?
Ramus: *Takes the gun back and puts it in a bag which vanishes.*
Ramus: Oh, no reason. I just wanted to get your fingerprints on it.
XMG: Whatever. Hey is there a herald of getting really baked?
Ramus: Yeah, his name is Jay.
XMG: Jay!?!?! Sweet! Can I meet em!?!? Can I!?!
Ramus: I don't know, I don't really know him. He may show up on his own.
XMG: He better.
XMG: *shakes fist*
XMG: Or your gonna get it....
Ramus: Oh yeah? Well then. I'll make sure he never visits you!
XMG: Oh come on! I was just kidding.
Ramus: If you say so. You know, Beast is always talking about how he's the best looking blue guy on the team and that the other blue guy's face doesn't even look as good as his blue furry ass.
XMG: What!? That ugly blue dog! Im the most attractive blue guy! And Im the smartest blue guy! Look at all the stuff ive invented, robots, teleportation devices, jets, psi blocking chips. And what does he have? Pants that wont fall down! He sucks, you can tell him I said that too.

*Jack takes a hard knee to Tokay's nuts.*
*Tokay clutches his groin*
Tokay: Shit! Shit! Shit! I need those you bastard.
Tokay: *headbutts Jack*

Tokay: Dont you get it? Sabre wants us to get along and if you really cared for her like you say you do then you'll stop being a selfish little prick and think about how she feels!
XMG: So then your pussy whipped?

Clio: "Mystere? You kinda look like that Leo guy from the wedding."
Mystere: I am Mystere! I am a great warrior who has joined your noble cause!
NW: And he isn't the Herald of Justice.
Mystere: Of course not! Though, I am flatterd that I could be mistaken for such an excellent fighter.

Sabre: Eh. I can do my hack job of field medicine, or I can put you in a healing tube. What's it gonna be?
Shadow King: i don't like healing tubs.
Sabre: Hack job it is, then.

*Halfbreed decides to go with the flow* “Yes kid its me uh I was walking to your house to have sex with you uh yeah dirty sex when this uh unicorn jumped out of the bushes and uh said that dirty sex was wrong well anyway he put a uh gypsy curse on me and now I'm a Go Kart person....we can still have sex if you want."
*Justin gets out of the kart and runs down the hall, crying.*
*Halfbreed starts to laugh* "Come back sugarpants I want to have my way with you"

::Sabre staggers in, carrying Justin over her shoulder. She drops him on a bed and checks his blood pressure::
Sabre: Hmm, it's a bit low. Where's Clio when you need her?
::she hovers over him, unsure of what to do::
*Somebody bursts in with a chainsaw and hockey mask*
Somebody: CAN I CUT HIM OPEN NOW!?!?!
Sabre: ::throws a knife at the guy's throat, and he dies horribly::
XMG (from the floor): OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED ME! IM DEAD NOW!
Sabre: Oops. Well, he shouldn't have burst in here with a chainsaw.
Sabre: ::yawns::
*XMG disappears and then XMG walks into the room.*
XMG: Yeah, so should I cut him up now?

XMG: Unless thier filming another one of those damn reality shows. I mean Survivor was good and all but do we really need 50 spinoffs? Answer: NO! SO STOP MAKING EM!
Sabre: All reality TV shows, the producers, creators, contestants, and viewers should all be horribly killed in inventive ways. So sayeth the Sabre.

Well, love, it might be amusing to see what would happen if we applied for a marriage licence and asked a judge to marry us. They do backgrounds checks, eh.
::has an imaginary conversation in a mocking voice::
"And what do you do for a living, Ms Eriksson?"
"I lead a team of mutants and other super-powered beings against bad guys. I used to kill people as part of my old job."
"I...see. And what do you do, Mr Tokay?"
"I'm an intelligent lizard man who fights bad guys and used to assassinate people for the British government. By the way, don't tell them I'm here. And don't bother looking up my records, I don't have any."
::switches back to her normal voice::
I bet that'd go over real well.
---Sabre

::Crickets chirp. Dante eats one::

*Justin turns the corner quickly and enters a water cooler placeeplace. He ducks down and takes deep breaths.*
Water guy: Hello sir are you interested in buying a water cooler today!?!
Justin: Ah...n—
WG: SURE YOU ARE!
*He pats Justin on the back and rushes him over to a cooler. He fills a paper cup with water and grab's Justin's chin. He pulls open Justin's mouth and pours the water in.*
WG: How ya like it?!
Justin: Its...go--
WG: Good! Take it!
Justin: Ah really cant af--
WG: So your ordering one!?!
Justin: Well n--
WG: TWO!?!?!
Justin: But sir ahm tel--
WG: YOU WANT THE WHOLE STORE!?!?!?!
Justin: NO!!!!
WG: HOORAY!!!!
Justin: NOOOOO!!!!!
Justin: NO SIR YOU DONT UNDERSTAND AH HAVE NO MONEY!
WG: HAHAHA Sure ya do! Everybody has money!
Justin: No, no ah dont!
*The water guy suddenly grows horns*
WG (deep evil voice): WELL THEN I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SOUL!!!!!
Justin: Oh my lord in heaven.....
WG: SIGN HERE!!!
*A flame appears on Justin's cart, the flame turns into a contract.*
Justin: Ah dont know sir.....
WG: SIGN IT!!!!!
Justin: But..ah...
WG: SIGN IT AND YOU WILL HAVE ALL THE WATERCOOLERS YOU WANT!!!!!
Justin: Well, we probably should get some water coolers for the attic....we can put other stuff in there....not just water.....oh godhelp me....
God: Sign it son....
*Justin spins around and sees God*
Justin: Where did you come from?
God: I work here too.
Justin: This is a wierd mall....well if god says its alright....
*Justin signs.*
WG: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!
*The shop disappears levaving Justin with a shopping cart full of water coolers.*
Justin (in awe): Jesus christ
Jesus: What do you want punk!?!?
*Justin spins around and sees Jesus*
Justin: Nothing!
*Justin speeds off, pushing both carts.*

Sabre: ::she runs through the mall, seeing weird hallucinations all around her::
Sabre: Whoah...trippy...
::some nearby kids recoil from her at the stench of all the perfume::
Kid: Hey lady, you stink!
Sabre: I'll teach you to mock me, you orange pterodactyl bastard!!!
::she runs at them with her sword, and they scream and run off::

*Justin is very tired from pushing both carts. He decides to take a rest, so he sits down on a bench and lays back.*
Justin: If only ah could find Ms. Sabre....
*Justin puts his hands on the bench. His hands hit a plastic flat object. Justin looks down to see what it is. A holy humming noise is heard, Justin sees a shinging sparkiling credit card.*
Justin: Should I?
*Justin hears flashbacks of the others.*
Sabre: Justin your a nice boy---
Tokay: Way too slow!
Beast: Your not gonna make it in battle without me.
Sabre: Your not a warrior
Jaik: Just a kid---
Charles In Charge theme: Charles in Charge of our days..and our nights....
*Justin shakes his head quickly and grabs the credit card.*
Justin: Ahm sick of always being the good boy! Ahll do it!

MS. SABRE!?!?!? MS. SABRE WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?! PATRICK SWAZYE JUST GAVE ME A RIDE BACK FROM A MENTAL INSTITUTION!!!!!!!!! I BOUGHT THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
---Justin

*the still naked Tokay gets to his feet and starts to pummel teh buff donut*
Sabre: Oo, Tokay, where've you been hiding that thing all this time?
Tokay: *Jumps up and down on the donut, turning it to a pulp*
Tokay: Ha! That'll teach ya!
Tokay: *stands heroicly, hands on hips but still naked*
::Sabre looks at Tokay, eyes wide::
Justin: Please sir, put your pants on.
Sabre: Shut up, Justin!!
Tokay: *Sees Sabre staring at him.*
Tokay: What are you looking at?
Tokay: *Remembers he is still naked*
Tokay: OH, right
Tokay: *Turns away from Sabre*
::Sabre sighs with disappointment::
Sabre: What now? We should get laid...I mean, get out of here.

Sabre: ::pats Patrick [Swayze] on the thigh as she gets out of the car::
Sabre: Call me sometime.
Patrick: im gay...well goodnight
*Patrick drives away*
Justin: Nice fella.

::jaik stumbles into the mess hall::
Jaik: dammit all would someone please tell me why i just had to chase a 7 fott tall bird lookin thing out of the bathroom just to take a shower?
XMG: *turns to Jaik*
XMG: Well at least satan didnt steal your shoes
XMG: *puts his bare feet up*
XMG: See?

XMG: Uh huh thats great. Listen whats goin on with you and that SkyWedge kid?
Mala: ~*~ She stiffens and rises to her feet.~*~
Mala: "In my time, you would have been more attentive,but...There is nothing "going on" with me and Herald."
XMG: Oh come on, then why are you so mad at him for no reason? You know you want a slice of elf.
Mala: "I do NOT like SkyWedge like that."
XMG: OK OK fine.
XMG: *smirks*
XMG: How bout me? Ever been with a legend before?

::Jaik begins too....
WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS POST HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO THE FACT THAT A YOUNG CHILD MAY READ IT. PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS AFFECT YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE. LET'S SAY JAIK AND SABRE HAD SOME TEA AND COOKIES (WINK, WINK) AND WENT ON WITH THEIR LIVES.
THANK YOU AND NOW ON WITH THE STORY.
::jaik wiped off his mouth and put his arm aound sabre to steady her adn dozed off to sleep::

It's true that some of them are absolute psychos. Coming from me, that's a pretty damning condemnation.
---Sabre

*Whispers to Sabre*
Ah think that Alligator is smoking drugs.
---Justin

Shrugging Gator: "Ooops...my mistake. when you're as stoned as i am it gets hard to tell one beautiful baby from the next. by the way ...your money amanda...you are sooo money."
Amanda Sefton: Thank-you.........I think.

Sabre: Besides...ever seen some of those drug-running guys? They really like reptile leather boots.
Shrugging Gator: " now wheres the fun in being careful? anyway thats one reason i quit doin that stuff...i asked 'em and i asked 'em..but nooooooooo, they just couldn't stop wearin' those boots and belts in front of me...i knew are partnership was about over when i showed up wearing a human skin jacket and a human skin wallet...for some reason we just didn't see eye to eye after that..go figure."

[snip lengthy and bizarre wrestling sequence involving the Gator, Justin, Joey, and Sabre]
*Joey explodes. Justin goes to the gator and kicks him in the face.*
Justin: Are you OK, Miss Sabre? Where did that ring and crowd come from?
Sabre: There was no ring and crowd, Justin...I think we breathed in some of that stuff the gator was smoking...
Justin: Oh.....how very very odd.

Ah can shake my groove thang. Dont make me, Ms. Sabre, dont make me shake my groove thang.
---Justin

Ronfar: Yes! The gorilla came back!
*Ronfar gets right in the gorilla's face.*
Ronfar: PARTY WITH ME GORILLA!! PARTY WITH ME!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
NW: Wow, I'd forgotten how seriously Ronfar takes having fun.
*The gorilla puts ronfar on his shoulders and starts doing unicycle tricks.*
Ronfar: Yeah! I'm partying with the gorilla!! YEAH!! I'M PARTYING WITH THE GORILLA!!!! WHOOOO!!!!!
*The clowns from XMG's adventure in the hall come out*
Clown: Did somebody say party!?!?!?
*The clowns start cart wheeling*
Ronfar: Parties with clowns totally suck!
*Ronfar waves his hand and the clowns vanish.*

Perpetua: ~She wipes her tears and puts on "Bootyliscious" by Destiny's Child. ~
*The gorilla goes into a rage and smashes the CD player. Then some better music comes on out of no where.*
Ronfar: Yeah! I'm partying with the gorilla to "Bootyliscious" by Destin's Child! WHOOO!!!
Perpetua: ~She punches the gorilla and pulls out a hidden cd player. She dances next to Ronfar, listening to "Bootyliscious .~
*Suddenly all copies of any Destinys child song explode, and all the destiny child song making machines explode. Then Destinys child themselves explode.*
*Yes they do, but it was only their clones. The real Destiny's child arrives at the reception and starts playing 'Bootylicious'*
*The gorilla goes into a rage and mauls Destiny's Child. Then the gorilla scurries off.*
NotWedge: What is it about Destiny's Child that makes people want to fight so much?

Oh come on, malls rule, They have food courts and pretzel stands and Discovery Channel stores and movie thatres and KayBee toy stores where you can still find old Ninja turtle action figures and kiosks that sell nothing but belts. Malls are great!
---SkyWedge

SkyWedge: Actually, I have a special credit card that was designed to work in the past. I can charge stuff now and the resistance pays for it in my time. You're the one who invented it, XMG.
XMG: Yes, I do rule dont I?
SW: Well, you will rule eventually. Right now you're on the verge of "no longer sucking."

I turn up and suddenly everyones dead. Its all fun round here aint it.
---Tokay

Ms Ivory: Always looking at the glass half-full?
Sabre: Born pessimist, bitch.

Salome: :sighs, and takes another swig::
Salome: Mala's pissed, and strangely, I don't care. Fuck...
XMG: Welcome to my world.
XMG: *starts with his dancing again.*

XMG: OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ILL DO THAT!!!!!!! NO PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL YOU MERRY ME!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE A DADDY!?!?!?! ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sabre: Uh...yeah. Shut up. What's your problem today?
XMG: NOTHING! I JUST WANTED TO COME IN HERE AND LICK THE SIDE OF YOUR FACE!
*XMG licks up the side of Sabre's face*
XMG: GOODBYE!
*he leaves*

Sabre: We'll get you another table, dear. You all right?
Tokay: I'm alright luv, but the table will never be the same again.

*Ramus is already here, he starts chanting.*
Crush his pelvis!
*Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.*
Crush his pelvis!
*Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.*
Oh, sorry. I'm the Herald of starting stupid chants right now.
---Ramus

XMG: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
XMG: *drops to his knees and points to the ceiling*
XMG: DAMN YOU DIRTY APES!!!!! DAMN YOOOOOOU!!!!!!!
Sabre: ::ignores XMG::
Tokay: *yawns*
XMG: *Pisses himself.*
Sabre: ::looks mildly uncomfortable, but continues to ignore him. She sits back down on Tokay's lap and snuggles against him::
XMG: Hey look ya guys. I pissed myself.

*Underpants gnomes come in and steal the underpants XMG left on the floor.*

METAL PIG gets a little to caught up in the moment and leans in towards Ramus for a big wet sloppy kiss
METAL PIG: Lay one on me sugar daddy
METAL PIG pulls away,not because he doesn't wan't to play smoochy face,but because he suddenlly relises he doesn't have any lips
Ramus: Sorry, I don't kiss. I'm not filling in for the Herald of Kissing, just the Herald of Hugging.
*Dai giigles some more*
Dai: That tickles!
*Dai becomes solid and hugs Ramus and METAL PIG*
*For a brief second METAL PIG questions his sexuality*
METAL PIG: Next time your filling in for the herald of butt fuck you give me a call

Hi Tokay. It's hard to believe that someone who looks this much like you can be so cute.
---NW

Awww you dont have to be scared of me little girl, just cause im BIG and BLUE and have a SHINY SHARP METALLIC ARM, and SHOUT a lot and CURSE a lot, now come here and give me a HUG...
---XMG

::Sarah starts to cry when XMG scares the hell out of her, and then looks worriedly at NW::
Sarah: Your ears are all pointy!
NW: *smiles at Sarah*
NW: Yeah, but at least I'm not blue.
XMG: Dont listen to him, little girl, his ears are pointy because hes SATAN!!!!!

NW: (in a normal tone of voice) So, XMG, have you rejoined the team or are you just here for the free cable?
XMG: Just here for the free cable...
*At that very second the cable cuts off. Come on, you really didnt expect it to last forever with nobody payin the bills did you?*
XMG: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Beast: He probably "limbo'd" out from under it..... HA!!! I crack me up...
XMG: ...not me....

Ok, here goes.........
I wanted to say sorry.
For hitting on Sabre..........repeatedly.
And for nearly getting her killed..........although I did save her.
and for drinking in the shop
and for putting my feet on the table
and for nicking your fag
ok, lets just say I'm sorry for everything I've done since I got here.
---Tokay

Beast: WHOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::Beast jumps in, and his fur turns green::
Beast: D@mn chlorine......
Captain Hemroid: "Its not chlorine"
*Hemroid zips up his fly and runs away laughing*

Sabre: Jaik, Joey was hiding out in our room last night...and he left with some souvenirs. My underwear...and a tape. If you get my meaning.
Jaik: TAPE!?!?!?....where is the tape now might i ask?
Sabre: I hid the tape under the bed. You can destroy it if you want.
Jaik: destroy it...maybe

don't stick out your tongue unless you're prepared to use it young lady
---Jaik

Mime, if I catch you---or any of you---smoking in here again, whether Clio is here or not---I will throw you out on your ass so fast you'll collect air mile points.
---Sabre

You touch her again and I'll shove that sai so far up your arse you could pick your nose with it!
---Tokay

Johnny Storm: The three people who would've come looking for me were killed right in front of me in ways I don't even want to think about that keep playing nonstop in my head. I'd go to the Avengers or the X-Men or their allies for help but they're all off planet dealing with a conflict between the Shi'ar and the Ruul. The Revnant ripped through us like a buzzsaw and he's going to destroy the world if he doesn't get his way. I'm not sure how I got here, but I can't think of anywhere else to go for help and I'm going to need it.
Sarah: You're so mean! I wish Sabre was here! Or Liqwid! Or Natasha!
XMG: Yeah thats great Patches. I like Buzzsaws too. Listen, us here at The Resistance are busy folks and we cant be pestered by every bum on the street, whose doesn't know how to use a buzzsaw, and ends up killing a bunch of people. I dont know what you want us to do. I suggest you sue the buzzsaw manufacture, people are always doin @#%$ like that now a days.
I wish Natasha was here too, the things she could do w/ her mouth were AMAZING!

XMG: yeah...right...
XMG: ...guy...guy...guy...old...too young...old...guy...giant radioactive crab....big feet....too much hair....i dont like her pants...
Liqwid: at this rate I wont be getting any action!
XMG: Look, would you like to look then? Cause im not lowering my standards. Now you can turn this ship around if you wanna, and go @#%$ the giant crab, but I dont wanna. So yeah. Shut your ass.

Sabre: Ha ha! I'm the last one here! Now there will be no one to see me put my feet up on the table and drink milk straight from the carton!
Jimbo: Gimmie that carton you dirty dirty girl.And shift over I wanna sit down too.

XMG: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT!!!
*points to wall, as Sabre and Notwedge turn, XMG runs off to bed*

*One night, CaptainAmeriCable was in his swamp, enjoying a quiet evening alone. He was chewing gum. He started to get drowsy, and decided to take a nap. While sleeping, CAC swallowed his gum. He choked to death on a piece of Juicy Fruit gum in his sleep.*THE END

It begins to rain at dark, lonely, and long abandoned swamp. It was here that the not-so-hallowed hero, CAC, once made his residence.In the far corner of the swamp, at one of the few areas with solid ground, rests a lone tombstone. At it's top is etched the marking and life span:
CAC
Born: Who Gives a Crap
Died: Sometime Recently, No One Thought To Look At A Calendar
Below that was four solemn words:
Death By Juicy Fruit
Here was the final resting place of the Resistance fighter, CAC. But as Jean Grey has taught us several times, death isn't always forever.
{Purgatory}
CAC sits patiently in Purgatory. It had been explained to him that he was basically in heaven's waiting room, and people had to pray for him to get him into heaven. Most people that came there passed through rather quickly, but CAC's prayer tally was oddly still at zero. All of a sudden, a myserious diety appeared in front of him.
"Greetings CAC. I am the God of Juicy Fruit. You may call me Wrigley's."
"Why Wrigley's?"
"Because that's my name, you dum@ss. Anyway, I actually felt guilty about you dying from my product, so I'm here to bring you back to life."
"Really? Awesome. I bet this kind of thing happens a lot, huh?"
"No, actually you are the first person to ever be so stupid as to choke to death on a piece of gum while sleeping. Stupid moron."
"You know Wrigley's, you sure are rude for a god."
"Am I? Well, I'm the god of a flavored gum, what do you expect? Poseidon gets the ocean, Ares gets war, and I'm stuck with Juicy Fruit. you'll have to excuse me for being a little bitter. Now let's go bring you back to life!"
{The Swamp}
Wrigley's and CAC arrive back at CAC's former home, the good ol' abandoned swamp.
"You wait over here, I'll go resurrect your body."
{A while later}
"Sorry CAC, but I have bad news. Your body is alive and ready for you to be transferred in, but there were a few problems along the way. You won't be exactly normal anymore. You'll be....well not normal."
"What? What kind of god are you? You're not supposed to mes up like this!"
"Sue me. I spend most of my time trying to make the flavor in gum last longer. I don't exactly have a lot of experience in bringing back the dead."
"Fine then. So what kind of abnormalities are we talking about here? Will I still have my telepathy?"
"No, but if it's any consolation, your telepathy sucked @ss anyway."
"I beg to differ. I did a lot of cool things with my telepathy."
"Name one."
"Well, I saved StormJedi's life with it once."
"Okay, name two."
"Well, uh, none of your business. Anyway, what about my telekinesis?"
"No, but that was pretty dumb also."
"Well, at least I'll still have my trusty shield. Where is it anyway? It's not where I left if before kicking the bucket."
"Actually, you don't have that anymore either. The Resistance had to melt it down and use it for scrap metal."
"They did WHAT? My precious shield, used for scrap metal?!!!"
"Don't be too mad at them. Time were rough, metal was short, and their toaster had just broken."
"They used my shield.....for a toaster?"
"Not just any toaster, an indestructible toaster! But personally, I think it's all for the best. With the tp, tk, and shield, you were really just a meager rip-off of Cable and Captain America."
"Well what the hell do you expect? My name is CaptainAmeriCable! The entire point of my existence was that I was a blend between between those two characters!"
"Oh. You know, I never thought of it that way..."
"Yeah, I bet you didn't. Anyway, what's the point in bringing me back without any powers or any way to protect myself? I'll be so weak that Apocalypse's will easily pick my off."
"No need to fret about that. Apocalypse is dead. Which isn't to say there aren't plenty of threats left out there. Your body is greatly altered, but you'll still have have powers."
"Poccy is dead?!! But how? What happened?"
"Your teammates can catch you up later. Right now, I want to give you brief rundown of your powers before leaving."
"Fine. What are they?"
"First of all, you will be able to instantly discern any foes weak points just by looking at them."
"I can already do that. All you gotta do is kick them in the balls."
"And secondly, you will be able to manipulate your density at will, going from hard as a diamond to to intangibility."
"So basically, I'm going from being a rip-off of Captain America and Cable, to being a rip-off of Karnak and Vision?"
"If you want to look at it pessimistically, then yeah, that's pretty much it."
"Fine then. Wrigley's, bring me back."
"You got it."
Wrigley's then used his powers to merge CAC's resurrected body with his spirit, making him alive and whole once more.
"All right! You did it! Thanks Wrigley's."
"You're quite welcome CAC. Just remember, from now on, take your gum out before you go to sleep."
And with that, Wrigley's went to depart. But on his way out, he was bitten by a salamander, which turned out to be his one weakness and killed him instantly, never to be heard from again.
CAC just shrugged it off. He was alive and that's all that mattered. He left the swamp to meet up with the Resistance again.

Sabre: I might make you a cake later if you think you can be a decent person for a day.
XMG: No forget it! You had your cake oppurtunity, and you blew it!
XMG: *Gets real close to her and points looks her in the eye, dead serious.*
XMG: But from now on, you better watch all your pastries. Cause so help me god, I'll eat every last one of them, Sabre. I'll eat every last one of them.

Sabre: Anyway, what would be so wrong about having a little brother? I thought you wanted to be part of a family.
XMG: Yeah something like the Fosters from Step By Step, a family full of hot chicks and guys named Cody. Hes not a hot chick is he? Your name isnt Cody is it? Just what I fuckin thought.

NotWedge, perhaps it says something good about you that you don't have the nastiness required to lead this bunch of freaks. And I say 'freaks' in the nicest possible way...
---Sabre

Sabre: He's pissed at Jedi. They've been arguing for a while.
Jaik: that and he woke me up this mornin
XMG: *smirks*
XMG: Boy, Jaik who do you like?

Hey, now that you're out of the bubble, you can go back to attacking people with sharp objects, Sabre.
---NW

Jaik: here ya go.....so you went flyin with jedi boy, he moves fast...maybe i won't have to put up with him sniffin round sabre now
Clio: SJ is making moves on Sabre? Did you kick his ass?"
Jaik: he's been makin moves since day one clio and she wont let me kick his ass. if i kick his ass i piss her off...no win there and CAC has the secret stash which i would gldly shove right up his ass at this point.
Clio: I wasn't talking about kicking SJ's ass, I know that would get Sabre pissed at you. I meant for Draga to eat all CAC donuts. Can you shove donuts up a ghost's ass?
Jaik: you can sure as hell try clio

:: StormJedi tries to telepathically soothe Sabre's nerves, and prepares for impact. ::

Hey Illy. Too bad you turned out to be a psycho b*tch from hell. I really like pizza. Do you want your pipe back? I don't really need it for anything...
Oh and I just want to say that I don't have anything against people from Hell. Draga's from Hell and she's really nice.
---NotWedge

XMG: She feels threatened by our surpreme masucilinaty or something like that. Or maybe she dont want us there cause she feels if we came shed be overcome with urges and rip our clothes off and make sweet sweet love
XMG: *starts making porn music and moves hand in "slap that ass" motion*
Jaik: slow your roll there kiddo...i don't think its that and the porn music is freaking me out.

Clio: Is this dressing in drag thing something I should know about?
NW: Clio, as we discussed, it's stricly a comfort thing.

OK, Illy. I guess you're the sort of person who needs things explained to you in really simple ways. What I am doing is called "not taking you seriously." I'm doing this by making goofy statements and drifting off to random subjects. Do you understand now, or do i need to make you some flash cards?
---NW

XMG: I wanna kick her in the teeth. Ive never kicked anybody in the teeth before.
Sabre: Really? My dear boy, you've never lived.
XMG: *big smile*
XMG: Can I kick you in the teeth?
Sabre: You can try.
XMG: I dont like the sound of that.
Sabre: Well then, don't kick me in the teeth!
Sabre:::suddenly lashes out with a kick, and deliberately misses XMG's head by about a half-metre::
Sabre: Heh.
XMG: .......Well I do believed I have just soiled myself.

Sabre: Hey Raze, that gator slept in my room last night. You haven't been taking good care of him lately.
Mourning Raze: " whadda'ya mean? i can't think of any better place ta sleep.....this is one slick gator"
Shrugging Gator: :: gator tosses raze over the tables into a bunch of empty beer cans::
:: raze gets up all clumsy-like::
MRaze: "what the hell was that for"
::gator shrugs::

XMG: All I was gonna do was sing a song.
Jaik: thats what i was afraid of

:Sireenah stares at XGM.:
*XMG punches out XGM*
XMG: GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE YOU MISSPELLED FREAK!!!!!!
*XGM leaves never to be heard from again.*

Devo: LOVE!?!?! OUR KIND IS UNCAPABLE OF LOVE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU SOME PATHETIC A.I. FEELINGS ARE NOTHING BUT A CRUTCH!!!! NOW I TELL YOU WOMAN STOP LOVING ME!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!
*XMG falls down laughing*

damn you people and your compulsion to trash my place
---Jaik

We're not much for thinking.
---Captain Hemroid

I think that I'm pretty lucky that this group doesn't discriminate against people who act like idiots. I would have been off the team a long time ago otherwise.
---NotWedge

*XMG and Devo walk past in the hall.*
XMG: No I bet you a hundred dollars that you cant glue yourself to the ceiling!
Devo: I bet you 200 dollars that you cant glue yourself to the ceiling!!!!!
XMG: Oh you are so on, now help me find some glue!
*Down the hall a crash is heard.*
XMG: OW!!! Dammit thats not enough glue!
Devo: Theres no more!
XMG: S**t.....well help me find some staples.
*XMG and Devo walk past the door.*
*A scream is heard from down the hall.*
*From down the hall*
XMG: Ok so we have no Glue and staples really hurt. What else do we have?
Devo:...Tape?
XMG: No, the tape industry has gone downhill. Tape isnt strong enough anymore. I remember when I was little you could tape a cat to a dog and it would stick Now you cant even tape two peices of paper together!! Its pathetic.
Devo: Well how about if I melt you into a chunk of the ceiling.
XMG: Huh?
Devo: I set fire to part of the ceiling so its all melted, then you lay into it. And hold yourself with Telekinesis until it dries.
XMG:.......Devo you are a genius.
*The sound of Devo's napalm tanks shooting.*
*XMG and Devo run down the hall screaming.*
XMG: Turn off the water!
Clown #1: Huh ha ha ha! Were clowns, we dont know how to turn off water!
XMG: That doesnt even make any sense...
*More screaming is heard as the sound of a wave is heard from down the hall.*
*Surf music is heard coming closer from down the hall. All of the sudden a huge wave is seen from outside the door (somehow the water doesnt enter the room.) XMG, Devo, and The clowns are wearing Haiwain shirts and riding surfboards.*
XMG (looking in the door): Cowabunga dudes!!!
*Surf music starts up again as XMG, Devo, The Clowns, The Ninjas, and The Hamburgler, all wearing haiwaian shirts ride past on thier surfboards.*
XMG: VIVA LA MEXICO!!!!!
All: VIVA LA MEXICO!!!!

*A bug car rolls up outside. 7 Clowns get out, followed by 6 ninjas, followed by The Hamburgler, Finally XMG and Devo step out, both wearing ponchos and sombreos.*
XMG: Alright see you guys later?
Devo: Later
*The guys give each other props. The clowns, hamburgler, and ninjas get into the car and ride off. XMG and Devo enter the shop.*
XMG: Hey! We got strawberry donuts now!
*XMG sits down on a stool. He immediately falls off.*
XMG: Damn tejiuana...
Devo: Sir, youve dropped your sombreo.
*XMG starts cracking up.*
Clio: "Is that Tiajuana or marijuana, XMG?"
XMG: ...both....
*XMG gets up, dusts himself off, puts his sombreo back on and sits down.*
XMG: so how is everybody tonight?
Clio: "I am wonderful. How're you, besides high as a kite?"
XMG: Im also drunk as a knife. Mexico rules!

Clio: I haven't been around as long as you, but I'd have to say your proposal was the best moment of my life.
XMG: ...mine too
NotWedge: You liked me proposing to Clio more than the time you &%#@ed Alyssa Milano?
XMG: I f****d Alyssa Milano? Sweet!
*XMG dances around*
XMG: go xmg, go xmg, its your birthday, you f****d alyssa milano...

NotWedge: Frankly. I don't think most people choose a best man based upon how much the person spies on them, XMG.
XMG: And thats all the more reason why you should pick me. Break tradition!
NW: I'll give your advice all the consideration it deserves, XMG.

XMG: I think Ill wear my Satan suit. That doesnt gets out enough.
Sabre: I'm sure you'll look very cute in your Satan suit, XMG.
XMG: Thank you, Sabre.

Goku: good, i wanted to know if you guys see alot of action
Joey: Well me and the sister dont, but NotWedge does becuase hes engaged.
*audiance laughter*

The next joker to try that again will get a sword stuffed so far up his ass that it'll tickle his throat!
---Sabre

XMG: *pantses Beast with his tk*
XMG: Nice dungeroos, buddy.
Beast: Ha! Jokes on you! I invented the never ending pants! You cant yank down my drawers!....Not all of them anyway.

Sabre: <<Good. Now, take over somebody in this room. Me or Beast>>
Beast: << you know Sabre, I still have that bit of telepathy....I can still hear you.>>
Sabre: <<That's all right, Beast, I don't care if you know>>

Sabre: Thanks for burying her, love. I 'ppreciate it. Did XMG help?
Sabre: ::raises an eyebrow at XMG::
XMG: Black people dont like to bury shit. Shit, were usually the ones gettin buried!
Tokay: Did he help? what do you think?
Sabre: Well, that's a nice example of ducking out of responsibility with a nonsensensical
explanation, XMG.
XMG: Thanks.
Sabre: Did you even behave yourself?
XMG: Nope.

Sabre: Child, why must you be so rude?
XMG: *drinks down the rest of his slurpee and shrugs*
XMG: Nothin else to do...

Sabre: XMG, quit jamming your privates into everyday household objects!!!
XMG: Hey it wasnt me! It was the lizard! The lizard!
Tokay: If it was my penis, she wouldnt be complaining!
XMG: Then youve both got some problems, if she likes it when you stick your dick in a radio.
XMG: *points to the hole in the radio and turns back to Tokay.*
XMG: Didnt that hurt?
Sabre: ::licks her lips::
XMG: ARGH! You two are sick!
Tokay: i can think of better places to stick my dick
XMG: *sits on his hands*
XMG: Im not that kinda boy, "Mate"

Well then who else are we gonna get to train me, huh? We need to do this for the battle. Perpetua told you to do it. She'll be pissed off if you dont. And hell hath no fury like a nun scorned.
---XMG

So whats wrong with an island? Gilligan might be there, everybody loves Gilligan...actually I dont. I hate Gilligan, I really dont see why they just didnt kill him, he kept fucking up all thier stuff, and he wore a stupid hat.
---XMG

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