Sidewalk Cracks

This lovely bit of humour comes to us from Grumpa, a great cartoonist with a great sense of humour. Click his pic if you would like to see more of his stuff.

Of Mice and Me...
(Humor, folks!)
I am getting older and more bitter each day, have you noticed? Every life form on the earth is getting under my skin.Used to be only people that bothered me, but now the lower links of the food chain have found ways to upset my balance.Did you notice that the common housefly will gravitate to your location, no matter how many people are present in the area? Try sitting down with a cup of sweetened hot beverage and see if they don't flock to you.
Birds...bah! Why do they rip the breather ports from under the eaves of the house when there are perfectly good trees in the area? Well, they want to watch me teeter on the ladder while trying to remove various types of nesting materials from the hole. They sit snickering and cajoling me from the safety of the power lines in the back of of the yard. It's enough to make you want to buy a pellet gun.
Now, the yard has been mowed for hopefully the last time this year, but as I mowed down the remains of the rhubarb I spied the vile serpent slithering beneath the surface through a strategically placed hole in the patch. Now, snakes have their place and duties, but they refuse to do my bidding (well, they belong to the devil anyway) by keeping the gophers from making the yard look like the surface of the moon.
This brings me to the mice of my nightmares... not only do they disregard the two felines in the house, but they have doomed me to a daily trek to the garage in cold, damp weather.
I feel as the old mountain men must have felt when they ran their trap-lines to check on the daily pelt count. These pelts will never see the furrier's back room! The more they burrow into the headliner and hood insulation of the car, the more determined I am to rid the world (at least my small lend-lease from mama earth) of these critters with no apparent function. They are field mice and are only here because there are fertile crop producing fields around me.They go for take-out and come home to nestle in the warmth of my hard earned money's material products.
Peanut butter is and old exterminator trick I practice, and await the cold snap of traps in the crisp seasonal air...all without any help from the snakes.