Best Laid Plans
by Natasha Luepke
Disclaimer: Belong to Rupert Holmes, yada yada yada.
Author's Notes: Dedicated to my dad and Nat. A woman from Scott's past shakes things up a bit. (More a concept piece than anything--it's not as well developed as I'd like.) Doesn't really have a setting; this story takes place before "All's Noisy on the Pittsburgh Front"--so both Victor and Scott (and Jeff, for that matter) are around.
Part One: In Which an Old Flame is Discussed
"Scotty, guess who just came into town," said Maple, looking up from the newspaper as Scott entered the Green Room.
"Lay it on me, Mapes," he replied, getting himself a cup of coffee.
"Good choice of words--Judy Paige."
Scott did a double take.
"Hope you don't mind, I invited her to drop by the station once she got settled," said Maple, with a satisfied smile.
"Maple, what the hell were you thinking, inviting her here?!" he exclaimed.
"Inviting who here?" asked Betty as she entered the room.
"Judy Paige, former entertainer at the Crimson Follies--"
"No one, just a girl," interjected Scott,
"--and one-time fiancée to one Scott Sherwood," finished Maple.
"Wow, Scott, I'd like to have been a fly on the wall to witness what made you propose," said Betty.
"Oh, Betty, it was what made all the guys propose. Judy had this 'thing' where she would take a--"
Maple was cut off by Scott saying "Oh, would you look at the time," and grabbing Betty's arm to steer her out of the room.
"So, Betty, what are you doing for lunch?" he asked her in the hall.
"Sorry, I have plans with Victor."
"Dinner?"
"Sorry--Victor."
"Breakfast?"
Betty replied "Victor," just to see the look on Scott's face.
"Betty!" he gasped, shocked.
"No, actually; coffee in the Green Room as usual. Now, I have scripts to write," said Betty, leaving a bewildered Scott in her wake. He returned to the Green Room.
"Ah, Maple, what are you trying to do?"
"Help your love life."
"Well, the novelty of that 'thing' Judy did wore off long ago--right around the time I realized she didn't have much of a brain in her head."
"Just like your average male. Listen, Scotty: People always want what they can't have, you and Betty case-in-point. Betty sees you with Judy, she'll get jealous, leaving Victor for me," Maple explained.
"Mapes, that scheme is worthy of me."
"I learned from the master."
Part Two: In Which an Old Flame Reappears
Judy Paige stood in the WENN lobby, not quite sure what to do. Gertie was just as perplexed. She guessed by the low-cut, form-fitting, loudly patterned dress and peroxide blonde hair that this person *had* to be one of Maple's or Scott's friends.
"Um," said Judy nervously, "does Maple LaMarsh work here?"
"Oh, yeah," said Gertie smugly; her assumptions were never wrong. "Go wait for in the Green Room."
After a good ten minutes, Judy was able to find her way to the correct room. She puttered around, futzing with the coffee cups. Finally, Maple entered the room.
"Judy? Omigod! It's been ages! How have you been?" exclaimed Maple.
The two women began chatting. Scott entered the room before he realized that Judy was already in there. He tried to hide behind his script, but it was too late.
"Scott? Scott Sherwood? How long has it been?" said Judy, in her annoyingly high voice, jumping up to embrace him.
"Judy Paige! What are you doing here? Maple--why didn't you tell me?" he said in-between Judy's kisses. Then, Betty walked in.
"Uh, Scott? You're supposed to be on the air in about ten seconds," she said with a--could it be, Scott wondered--a smile. "Ooh, sorry, Judy, gotta earn that paycheck," he said, pushing Judy away and quickly exiting.
"Betty Roberts, Judy Paige," Maple introduced.
"Yes, pleased to meet you," said Betty, not quite sure what to think of the woman standing before her. Now see, she thought to herself, this is the kind of woman I always pictured Scott with--buxom and drug-store blonde.
"What do you do?" Judy asked Betty, eyeing her critically.
"I write--and Maple acts, which is what she should be doing now."
"Oh, sorry! Judy, wait here until I'm done," said Maple as she rushed off.
"Sorry, Judy, I have to go, too. You may wait here and help yourself to coffee," said Betty.
"Thanks, Betsy."
"Betty."
"Yeah, sure."
Judy played with the cups and glanced through the paper. The next person to come in was Victor.
"May I help you?" he asked.
"Sure," she said staring at him. He just looked back. "Oh! I'm a friend of, uh, Maple's." She licked her lips. "And you are?"
"Victor Comstock. Listen, have you seen Betty?"
"Betty?" she asked, moving closer to him.
"Brown hair, brown eyes..."
"Oooh, Betty. Yeah, she had to leave, go...write."
"Thanks. Nice to meet you, Miss Paige.
"And you," she said after he'd left.
Maple finally came back, followed by Jeff and Hilary. Introductions were made.
"Jeffrey Singer? I think I saw you perform. You were very good." Hilary glared at her.
"Well, Judy, I'm done for the day. Shall we grab a bite?" asked Maple.
"Sure," said Judy, eyeing Jeff.
"Just the two of us."
"Oh, yeah, sure."
Part Three: In Which Dinner is Eaten
Betty sat across the table from Victor, bored out of her mind. All he talked about was work. The last time she'd been out with Scott, he'd had her in hysterics. He was an excellent storyteller, even if half the stories were made-up. He'd even gotten her to relate the story of how she ripped her dress at the Harvest Festival when she was 16.
"Betty, are you listening to me?" asked Victor, snapping her out of her reverie.
"What? Oh, yes, great idea..." She sighed. I wonder what Scott is doing right now?
Scott was rummaging through the icebox in his apartment. It didn't take long since all it contained was curdled milk and a mysterious green substance. He did have half a loaf of bread. But, when he looked in the cupboard, all he found was a note reminding him to buy peanut butter and jelly.
Fixing himself a bread sandwich, he sat down to listen to the radio. He was thinking of Betty, as usual--he loved that story she told about ripping her dress. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
It was Maple and Judy.
"Scotty, nice place," remarked Judy.
"Maple?"
"Sorry, Scotty. We got bored during dinner. Thought we'd come over and reminisce."
"Yeah, warn me next time. I'll barricade the door," he hissed to Maple.
"So, Scotty, seein' anyone right now?" asked Judy, sitting down on the couch.
"Ah..."
"It's complicated," supplied Maple.
"Well, anything I can do to help," purred Judy in her shrill voice, grabbing Scott's arm and pulling him down on the couch.
"Yeah. Um, Maple, I have to go in early, need to talk to Betty..."
"What is with this Betty broad?" questioned Judy.
"Judy, we should go," said Maple, thinking this had been a mistake.
"all right, but Scotty, if there's anything I can do for you..."
As the women were leaving, Scott whispered to Maple, "How liquored up *is* she?"
"Let me put it this way: I'm surprised she ain't married yet."
Part Four: In Which Lunch Plans Are Made
"Uh, hello, Miss Paige, still here I see."
"Well, hiya, Vic! Say, what are you doing for lunch?"
"I haven't made any definite plans yet..."
"Well, I'm dying to try the Buttery..."
"Why don't you and Maple join Betty and I?"
"Gee, thanks."
Judy then wandered into the Green Room.
"Oh, Scotty! What are you doing for lunch?"
"Well..."
"Well, I've been dying to try the Buttery. Won't you join me?"
He sighed. "Okay."
"Great! Like old times!"
"Yeah, old times."
Scott went to find Maple.
"Um, Mapes, we're going out to lunch."
"Good for you, Scott!"
"Will you come? Please?"
"Ooh, sorry, busy."
"Busy?"
She winked and left.
"Hey, Victor, mind if I join you and Betty for lunch?"
"Of course not, Maple."
Victor left to find Betty.
"Betty..."
"Oh, hi, Victor."
"I have to leave for Washington this afternoon. Will you join me for lunch?"
"Oh. Well, I was going top ask Scott..."
"Ah, I think he's going with Judy."
"Oh. Well, sure."
Part Five: In Which Lunch is Eaten
Betty glanced over at Scott and Judy. He looked like he was having a great time--they were having such an animated conversation. She turned back to Victor, who was talking about work as usual.
Maple had taken on the glazed look Betty was sure she sported.
Betty felt different than she usually did about Victor's leaving. She would miss him, and there would be more work to do with him gone. But she didn't feel the sadness or loneliness she normally did.
Instead, she felt jealous of Scott and Judy--but of the fact they were having a good time or the fact they were together, she couldn't say.
Judy herself was feeling rather bored. All Scott talked about was Betty.
"I'm tired of this!" exclaimed Judy.
"What?"
"Betty, Betty, Betty! What's she got that I don't? I think I got lot's more!" She had jumped up and was yelling now.
Betty and Maple looked over, but Victor seemed oblivious.
"She's sweet, smart, pretty, noble, honest..."
"Jeez louise! Just a crazy brunette dame! Hey, Mapes, are we done?"
"Be right with you, Judy. Uh, sorry, Betty, Victor." Maple escorted Judy out.
Betty tried not to laugh and wondered if she could use this in a script. Victor looked up suddenly.
"What? Did I miss something?"
Part Six: In Which a Realization is Made
That evening, Betty watched Victor leave. She also watched as Judy took the seat next to Victor on the train and they began talking. Betty wondered for a moment what that 'thing' Judy did was, then realized she didn't care. Betty smiled. I was more jealous of Judy with Scott than I am of her with Victor.
The next morning, Scott walked into the Green Room as Maple looked through the paper.
"Sorry, Scotty." He shrugged.
"Hey, Scott." It was Betty. "What are you doing for lunch?"
"Wha--what about Victor?"
"Last I saw him, he was discussing with Judy the 'thing' she does."
"Ooh, sorry, Betty," said Maple.
"Well, after a lot of thinking, I realized I didn't care."
"That's great!" Scott exclaimed. "I mean...nope, that's great!"
Maple watched the happy couple leave.
"Well, at least part of my plan worked," she sighed.
The End
"'Let me go,' she said, 'Let me go,' she said, 'Let me go,' and 'I will want you more.'" --Cake, "Let Me Go"