The deal was, we go to this ghey little presentation, get some free breakfast, spend 90 minutes telling this sales guy "that sounds good ... but, NO, screw you, thank you for your time" and we get $90 towards Disneytickets.  And they had a game room for the kids, so Sis and BIL would be the only ones getting bored by Mr. Salesdude.  Well ... the breakfast was decent.  But Mr. Salesdude decided Seth and i were too old for the gameroom (and LM was obviously too young), so we all wound up getting to listen to the two-and-a-half-hour salespitch.  That's right.  They threw that "90 minutes" bullsh*t right out the window.  And then ... after the presentation, we spent an additional 90 minutes standing in a total of four different lines just to get the tickets.  LM was restless and screaming for most of the four hours we spent there, and at one point Sis had about all she could stand, showed out in the middle of the Westgate lobby, which embarrassed/pissed off Seth.  So we were all just one big freaking happy family by the time we finally reached Disney.  (Note for future reference: Avoid those timeshare mother[tr]uckers like a jaded metaphor.)

Anywho, so we finally get there, and we're already ready to collect freaking heads.  And to make things even better, every idiot this side of Pittsburg is already there.  I swear i didn't see an inch of asphalt the whole time we were there.  And Sis does crowds about like i do -- meaning, she doesn't.  Amplify the agitation, will ya?

The lines were, needless to say, ridiculous.  And the "Express Pass" thing didn't help any.  Basically the deal with that, you scan your ticket and it says, "Come back at this time for a shorter wait."  So basically, you can stand in line for an hour to go on a ride, or walk around the park for five or six hours and then come back at the specified time and only have to wait 45 minutes in the "express line" to ride the same ride.  Hmm ...

Seth and i got to do what we wanted to do there, tho'.  Space Mountain, twice (once with and once without the so-called "Express Pass"), and Splash Mountain, twice (ditto Space Mountain).  We also did Pirates of the Caribbean (i insisted, for nostalgia's sake ... Seth didn't seem too impressed) and the new "Philhar-Magic" 3-D theater (think it replaced the Muppets thing -- or was that Muppets thing at MGM?).  P-M was cool.  Extremely kiddish (or "very gay", per Seth), but hell, it's Disney, whaddayagunnado?  It was very nicely done.  And Seth nabbed a pair of the 3-D (or "gay-vision") glasses that some dope had dropped out in front of the attraction.  (Made for some easy entertainment for our simple -- and tired -- minds ... he'd throw 'em on, and suddenly everything would be "gay."  Idunno.  It was cute at the time.)

Oh yeah -- lunch.  We ate at this place called Pecos Bill's (in Disney).  Typical theme park fast food joint -- complete with ridiculous prices -- but the burgers were freakin' amazing.  Better than Hard Rock even.  Probably one of the best burgers i've ever had, actually.  And i've had some damn good burgers.  =)

But yeah, getting back to chronological accuracy ... after Philhar-Gayness, we were supposed to meet up with Sis and BIL at the rose garden near Cinderella's Castle -- hopefully before the "Electrical Parade" began, so we could beat the crowd out of there.  Well ... we kind of screwed up our timing and wound up heading back to CC right as the li'l ghey show in front of it was starting.  (We tried to hit the "Great Thunder Mountain Railroad" on the way back -- wound up stuck in line behind a screaming little girl whose father was pretty much forcing her to go on it against her will for an hour before they shut down the ride "indefinitely."  Made us a li'l south of happy.)  So, natch, by the time we made it to CC, all the idiots in the park were congregated around one spot in front of it.  So we were cutting through families, stepping on and over people, tripping over strollers and stuff -- we half-killed ourselves just trying to get there.  Eventually we made it to the front of the castle, decided the crowd was just too much to get through, wound up stealing a seat and waiting for the show to end.

I think they should severely limit the number of people they allow in the park.  I mean, the park was crowded during the afternoon, and it was a little bothersome, but that's kind of typical tourist trap fare.  But that night, was just ri-frick-diculous.  In-sane.

Needless to say, tho, we made it out alive, and only wound up killing two people on the way out.  Okay, so we didn't kill anyone.  But people were pissing me off right and left there (cutting me off from the family, cutting across in front of us, wedging their way in front of me and then stopping), especially when we were trying to get out.  I got a short break on the way out -- LM had had her picture taken with Mickey, and Sis and BIL had to run by this li'l shop near the front gate to pick up a copy [as they say on "gamefags" -- **UPDATE!!** the pic is uploaded, for your viewing ... whatever].  They had a little theater in the back of the shop (okay, so it wasn't a "li'l shop") showing a bunch of old Disney shorts and explaining their historical significance and whatnot, so i got to chill out there while they stood in line.  Good break from massive crowds of idiot people.

Anywho, all in all, Thursday was one giant chicken-fajita pita.  (That's even worse than a normal "p-i-t-a", for those of you keeping score.)  And my mental impressions of Disney World have been forever tainted.

~ Have some fricken pictures. ~

S&M: A Love Song.

"Miss Gurl" meets "Duku."

The "Other" S. Mountain.

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