This site is no longer being updated, I would recommend http://www.answeringmachine.co.uk/
for the latest messages.

Wellcome to Humourous Answer Machine Messages, currently I have 90 messages on the site. My personal favourites are Friends, Mission Impossible and Homer Simpson.

If you have any messages which could go on this site, or there are any requests then fill in a Feedback
form

Files are in WAV or RA format, you can get a free RA player from RealAudio!
, most WAV files have been zipped to save download time. If upon pressing the 'Download' button the message plays instead of downloading then goto to Faq
for why this happens and how to correct it

Fill in a Feedback
form & you'll have access to the latest & best messages first !!!

These messages are intended for personal use only, please don't use them for commercial gain.

Take That (Back for Good) - WAV / 643k
Queens (B Rap) - WAV / 500k
Sting (English Man in New York) - WAV / 592k
Friends Themed message - WAV / 603k
Musical message - RA / 38k
Musical message2 - RA / 38k
Musical message3 - RA / 40k
Spice Girls Wanabee - WAV / 236k

Monty Pyphon - RA / 56k
Aunt Flow (Play School) - WAV / 121k
Play School - WAV / 95k
Trumptonshire - WAV / 49k
Kermit the Frog - RA / 16k
Lurch, Adams Family - RA / 11k
The Mask - RA / 59k
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, what more can be said, a must have - RA / 18k
As above but shorter - RA / 17k
Spock (Star Trek) - RA / 70k
Spock (Star Trek) 2 - RA / 16k
Star Trek - RA / 21k
Star Trek 2 - RA / 7k
Star Trek (Next Gen) - RA / 137k
Star Trek 3 - RA / 27k
Star Trek & Butthead - RA / 62k
The Twilight Phone - RA / 19k

Clint Eastwood - RA / 15k
Elvis 'The King' - RA / 12k
GhostBusters - RA / 1k
Jack Nicolson - RA / 16k
Jack Nicolson2 - RA / 18k
Stallone - RA / 13k

Sick sense detective agency message from Radio 1 - WAV / 158k
Voice black mail message from Radio 1 - WAV / 84k
Pencil & paper message from Radio 1 - WAV / 100k
Death message from Radio 1 - WAV / 82k
God message from Radio 1 - WAV / 362k
Shout message from Radio 1 - WAV / 41k

Xmas message - RA / 20k
Mister Haloween - RA / 40k
Santa's little help line - RA / 43k
Xmas message - RA / 20k

Beavis & Butthead - RA / 134k
Bart Simpson - RA / 3k
Simpsons 1 - WAV / 30k
Beavis & Butthead - RA / 116k
Beavis & Butthead - RA / 145k
Beavis & Butthead - RA / 97k
Beavis & Butthead meet Star Trek - RA / 160k
Homer Simpson (MUST HAVE !!!) - RA / 38k
Homers message sent by Colin Glaister - WAV / 189k
Simpsons 2 - WAV / 621k
Simpsons 3 - WAV / 570k
Simpsons - WAV / 224k
Pink Panther - RA / 3k
Police message from Springfield home of the Simpsons - RA / 16k
Ren & Stimpy 1 - RA / 78k
Ren & Stimpy 3 - RA / 24k
Ren & Stimpy 2 - RA / 59k
Simpsons - RA / 8k
Simpsons - WAV / 21k

Hello? What was I doing ? - RA / 22k
Alien Message - RA / 27k
Angry Caller - RA / 14k
Annoy your caller with this - RA / 20k
Answer Machine service - RA / 29k
Anti-Obscene phone message - RA / 15k
Man far from phone - RA / 9k
President Bush - RA / 10k
Which button? - RA / 40k
Just confuse your caller - RA / 20k
Telephone Service - RA / 32k
Fat fingers - WAV / 92k
Normal remale voice message - RA / 21k
Fifties message - RA / 40k
Play telephone tag - RA / 29k
Robot Message - RA / 22k
Hair removal service - RA / 23k
Misc - RA / 13k
Have a nice day - RA / 10k
Phone-a-matic machine - RA / 16k
Psychic message - RA / 12k
Ronald Reagan - RA / 8k
Sales man - RA / 19k
Seconds left in live - RA / 39k
prank messsage - RA / 129k
Story Theature - RA / 59k
On the toilet - RA / 26k
Warning [Call Monitor] - RA / 29k
White House - RA / 27k
Win a Car - RA / 38k

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