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St. Vincent de Paul
18 Pleasant St.
Baldwinville, MA
(978) 939-8851

A man died after living a very sinful life.  He found himself in a long line waiting to enter the gates of hell.  This didn't shock him very much.  But he was surprised that, when his turn came to go in, the Devil asked him, "Smoking or non-smoking?"
On the way home from Sunday Mass, a mom and dad were both complaining about their church.  They talked about the pews being too hard, the sermon too long, the organ too loud, and the lousy voices coming from the choir!  They talked so loud that their son couldn’t help but over hear the complaining coming from his parents!  Finally, he piped up and said, “What do you expect for a dollar??”
     My friends were about to get married.  Nancy was Catholic, but her fiancé, Chris, was not.  Since they were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions.  At one meeting, the priest turned to Chris and told him, “Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist.”  Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset.  Nancy asked him what was wrong.  “I don’t understand,” he said.  “How can we have the ceremony without me?”
     As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.  "In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober."