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MOM : Thank you, dear. MOM : Good morning, Jenny. JENNY : Is it good? I hadn't noticed. Can I have the front page? Please? JENNY : Oh no, it says here that more Americans are saving money. MOM : Everybody but you would consider that a good thing. JENNY : Don't you get it? If they save it, they don't spend it. JENNY : If they don't spend it, they're not going to go to college. Then, college teachers like Dad will be out of work. Which means I'll be homeless. DENNIS : Morning! Ooh, great, the comics! DAD : Excuse me, I was reading that. DENNIS : But, Dad, I thought you wanted me to take an interest in reading? Oh well, I guess I'll become a terrorist. DAD : Keep it. Besides, I still have the 'classifieds.' Maybe I can find us some discount tickets to the Grand Canyon. MATT : Hey, c'mom, leave Dad alone. Don't knock his dreams. DAD : Thank you, Matt. At least one of my offspring still believes in me. MATT : Well, I also believe Doogie Howser is a real doctor. DAD : Go on, mock me. But one of these days we're going to go to that great canyon. MOM : Of course we are, dear. MATT : Hey, Dad, can I see that? MATT : I want to buy a new amp. I want one that'll blow-out the windows. MATT : Jenny, let's get the band together and practice. I'm working on a new song. DENNIS : Oh, yeah. I heard. DENNIS : "OH-OH-RANDI-JO". OH, OH. MATT : You need a little more fruit in your diet, Dennis. JENNY : Sorry, Matt, I can't practice today. Kathy and I are going boot shopping on Melrose. MATT : Oh, come on. You can do that anytime. If we practice we'll get a real gig this summer -- I know it! SLY : Good morning, neighbors. And let your day start right, because 'Sly' is in sight. Hey, Jenny, What say you and I take a romantic little jaunt up the coast and find a cozy spot in the sand for two? JENNY : That sounds wonderful. SLY : It does? JENNY : We spread out a blanket, you put your arm around me, our lips move close, and as we're about to kiss... YOU WAKE UP AND REMEMBER YOU'RE A LONELY, DISGUSTING SLIMEBALL!!! SLY : I love it when she talks rough. Come on, Matt, let's go to Sharkey's. You know what they say, "the early bird gets the babes." MATT : All right. See you, guys. MOM : Bye, honey. DAD : Maybe we could find Matt a new best friend in here. SLY : You know, the only thing standing between you and thousands of beautiful screaming groupies is lack of good management. MATT : For the ten millionth time, Sly, we don't need a manager. SLY : Of course you do. Who put the "EE" in "Bowie"? A manager. Who put the "U" in "U-2"? A manager. Who put the "NNN" in "Guns 'N Roses"? A manager. MATT : And who put the "up" in "shut-up"? TONY : Hey, what's up, guys? MATT : Hey, what's up? I thought today was your day off. TONY : I needed the extra cash. There's a major deficit in my dating budger. SLY : I'm glad you're here. We've got to talk about some vital band biz. TONY : Hold that thought. Excuse me, Vanessa, I am going to have to place you under citizen's arrest -- because your looks are killer. VANESSA : Tony, you're too much. TONY : I love being me. So what's up, man? MATT : He still wants to manage our band. TONY : Man, do the words, "not in this lifetime," mean anything to you... Sylvester? SLY : The name's Sly. Never ever call me Sylvester. TONY : You got it, Sylvester. MATT : Tiffani, what are you doing inside? The surf out there looked pretty gnarly. TIFFANI : It is. But every time I line up to catch a good wave, suddenly there's twenty guys around me. I don't get it - it's such a big ocean. TONY : You're hot, baby. Maybe they like you. TIFFANI : That's stupid. How can they like me? They don't even know me. MATT : Oh, man. It's Randi Jo. She is so beautiful. SLY : And, so rich. MATT : I'd love to go out with her just once. TONY : In that case, let me give you some advice, Matthew. SHARKEY : No, no, let me give you some advice there, Mr. Wicks. If you want to keep your job. try doing your job. TONY : Sharkey, come on, man. I'm on my break. You know, the one you're required to give all employees, by California law. SHARKEY : Ooh, I'm all a quiver. In this place I am the law. Now, you got two minutes. And tuck in that shirt. TIFFANI : Look, Matt. If you want to go out with Randi Jo, why don't you just go over there and ask her. MATT : I can't, I get all stupid. In my mind I'm saying, "You're so beautiful", but my mouth says, "Ya-sa-blah-blah-blah." TONY : Well, you'd better hope she's a mind reader because here she comes. RANDI JO : Hi, you're Matt Garrison, right? MATT : Ya-sa-blah-blah-blah. RANDI JO : O-kay. I'm Randi Jo Manning. I hear you have a band. SLY : Yeah, they're the California Dreams. RANDI JO : Can I listen to you play sometime? MATT : Yeah, uh, we practice every day. RANDI JO : Great. Can I come by today? MATT : Sure. Two O'clock at uh, uh... SLY : One-twenty-eight Ocean Drive. RANDI JO : Great. I'll see you later. TONY : Smooth, Matt. Very smooth. RANDI JO : Hello? Matt, hi. MATT : Uh, Randi Jo! Hi! What a surprise. I mean, I knew you were coming. I mean, how was your trip? TONY : The dude's a poet. SLY : Here you go - a front row seat. By the way, we're taking applications for groupies. JENNY : Don't worry. If he touches you, it comes off with sandpaper. MATT : All right. Let's do it! One, two, one-two-three-four! (MUSIC CUE : "INTO THE TUBE" MATT : RIDE RIDE RIDE INTO THE TUBE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE ALL : CAN'T STOP MATT : THE TIDE FROM RISING ALL : SURFS UP MATT : THEY'RE BREAKING OUTSIDE FROM THE LIGHT OF DAWN ALL : TO THE MIDNIGHT SUN MATT : WE'RE GONNA RIDE RIDE RIDE INTO THE TUBE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE) RANDI JO : You guys are great! Listen, I'm having my sweet sixteen party at my parent's yacht club on Friday. Is there any way you guys could play? MATT : You mean, like a gig? RANDI JO : Yeah. SLY : They won't play for less than two hundred and fifty dollars. Sly, no! RANDI JO : Two hundred and fifty dollars? Okay, I'll call you later. MATT : We've got a JOB!!!! SLY : Yes. JENNY : No! MATT/JENNY : Mom! Mom! MOM : You wanted me? MATT : You won't believe this. We're playing a party! JENNY : And they're actually paying us two hundred and fifty dollars! MOM : Wow! That's great. That'll pay for the dishes. When is it? MATT : This Friday night. JENNY/MATT : Dad! Dad! DAD : Whoa, what a greeting! MATT : Dad, we've got some great news. DAD : Me, too. Now, you've been kidding me for a long time, but I finally did it. There's no backing out. I bought us tickets to the Grand Canyon-we fly out this Friday arternoon! MATT/JENNY/MOM : Friday?! DAD : Yep! TIFFANI : I am totally stoked. This is the most exciting news of my life. SLY : You guys better practice 'til your fingers peel. TONY : I can't wait. All those lovely ladies screaming for me. MATT : Um, guys, sit down. MATT : We've got a very minor little problem with Randi Jo's party. Let's see, how can I put this delicately? JENNY : We can't play. Dad bought tickets to the stupid Grand Canyou. We fly out Friday. MATT : Very delicate. TONY : Come on, man. Tell him you've got plans. He'll understand. JENNY : No he won't. He's gonna be really angry if we tell him we don't want to go. MATT : I guess there's only one thing to do... JENNY : Yeah, get mom to tell him. MOM : Absolutely not! I'm not telling him. MATT : Come on, Mom. You know how important this is to us. MOM : And you know how important the Grand Canyon is to your father. I'm sorry, but it's your party so it's your responsibility to tell him. MATT : Yeah, I guess you're right. MOM : But when you do tell him, be sure he isn't near anything breakable. DENNIS : Hey, Matt, can I have your guitar after Dad kills you? JENNY : Dennis, Dad's not going to kill anyone. DENNIS : Face it, you guys are doomed. Doooomed! TONY : Come on, guys. We have to think of something. It's our first gig. TIFFANI : Well, Randi Jo liked us a lot. Maybe she'll move her party to next weekend. JENNY : Great idea! Call her now! MATT : Uh actually, I'll ask her tomorrow night. We sort of have a date. SLY : Matt, I am proud of you. JENNY : How was your date? She wouldn't move the party, right? I knew it was a waste of time. DENNIS : How was your date? Did you kiss her? MATT : Let me explain something. This is my room. That is the door to my room. Before you come in -- to my room, you're supposed to knock on the door -- to my room. JENNY : Matt, you're obsessing. Did she or didn't she move the party? MATT : Plus, it's not polite to ask personal questions about someone's love life. MATT : Come in. You see? Mom respects my privacy. MOM : How was your date? MATT : Mom!! MOM : I mean, did Randi Jo move her party? MATT : I couldn't ask her. JENNY : Why not? MATT : She was so beautiful. The room was so nice. She was so beautiful... JENNY : Then there's only one thing to do. Friday morning we tell Dad we caught the twenty- four hour mumps. We say. "You go ahead, we'll catch up tomorrow." DENNIS : Doooooomed! DAD : Hi, are you guys all excited about the Grand Canyon? JENNY : That's one way of putting it. DAD : Me, too. Check this out. I've arranged for us to ride to the bottom of the canyon -- on burros! JENNY : Burros. How nice. MOM : Honey, uh, Matt and Jennifer need to tell you something. Good luck. DENNIS : Doomed! MOM : Come on, Dennis. DAD : What was that all about? MATT : Well, Dad, you see... Jenny really wanted to tell you. JENNY : Oh, my head. It's swelling. I must be getting the mumps. DAD : What's going on, Matt? MATT : Dad... Right before you came home last night, we got hired to play our first gig. DAD : Hey, that's great! Why didn't you tell me? MATT : Well, I wanted to but you were so jazzed about the Grand Canyon. DAD : You should have told me. Now we all have great news. MATT : Well, not really. The gig is this Friday night. DAD : How could it be this Friday night? We're going to be at the Grand... Oh. MATT : Yeah. "Oh." DAD : Then I guess you and Jenny don't want to go. DAD : I understand. Obviously it wasn't a good time. MATT : Really? You mean you're net mad? DAD : No, I should've asked if you had plans. It's my fault. MATT : No, it's not. It's our fault. Come on, Dad, get mad! Please. DAD : No, it's okay. I guess we just won't go. SLY : I can't believe you guys are not playing at Randi Jo's party? MATT : I'm sorry guys, but I just can't do it to my dad. It was his dream to go to the Grand Canyon long before it was our dream to be a band. JENNY : I've never seen my father so bummed out. TIFFANI : Boy, your dad is one lucky guy to have such thoughtful children. SLY : Tiffani, you're not helping. TONY : I don't believe this. We've practiced together practically every day for the last two years. TONY : And, now that we finally get a gig, you guys are just going to bail? You can't do that. MATT : You think this is easy for us? What would you do if it were your dad? TONY : Are you kidding? I'd tell that big-gig-wrecking-moved-his-family-out-of-the-ghetto -to-have-a-better-life-popsicle-head that... I'm going to the Grand Canyon. SLY : Wait! If I can come up with some way for you to take a later flight -- like after the show -- would you still play? JENNY : Of course. But we can't exchange the tickets. They're non refundable. SLY : Jenny, Matt, you've known me for twelve years. Have I ever let you down? SLY : All right, but I've never gotten you arrested. Just leave it to me. SLY : All right, Mr. Shahabadad. Let's exchange those plane tickets to the Grand Canyon. MR. SHAHABADAD : No, no, I am apologizing. No exchange ticket until we meet famous rock stars. As you promised. SLY : Okay. Get your cameras ready, because I'd like to introduce you and your family to the one, the only, Van Halen! MR. SHAHABADAD : It is an honor to meet me, Mr. Van Halen. MATT : Pleasure to meet you too, Sir. TEENAGE SON : I saw you last Spring at the Ghandi Stadium in Calcutta. Even from the back row Eddie, you were most awesome, dude! TIFFANI : I can't believe they're actually buying this. JENNY : We're going to get arrested and deported. MR. SHAHABADAD : Mr. Sly, sir, would you please do us the extreme pleasure of snapping us in a picture with Mr. Vand Halen? SLY : Sure, I'll snap you in a picture. MATT : Wait a second! I can't go through with this -- the whole thing's a lie. TEENAGE SON : Holy Moley! Van Halen wears a wig! MR. SHAHABADAD : Quickly, get pictures! We'll sell them to the Enquirer! SLY : Okay, it's time to say, "Sayonara." Mr. Van Halen has a concert to perform. I'll take those tickets now. Come on, sir. Family, right this way. (MUSIC CUE : "INTO THE TUBE" MATT : RIDE RIDE RIDE INTO THE TUBE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE GIRLS : CAN'T STOP SURFS UP BREAKING OUTSIDE RIDE RIDE RIDE GUYS : INTO THE TUBE) MATT : Hey, alright! You guys are the best audience we've ever played for. MATT : We're going to take a quick five, and we'll be right back. TONY : Whoa, what a rush, man. TIFFANI : I know, and they were clapping for us. I got chills. JENNY : Don't jinx us. We still have another song to play. RANDI JO : You guys are hot. You made my party. MATT : Thanks. We're having a blast. RANDI JO : Oh, this is my friend, Dawn. She's having her sweet sixteen next month. Maybe she'll want the California Dreams to play. DAWN : Like, I want it to be a bodacious shindig. So, It'll be on the beach, like a surfing sweet sixteen. TONY : I'll take this one, bro. TONY : So, sweet thing, when's this beach-blanket-bingo-Frankie-and-Annette-happenin, happenin? MATT : Looking good, Dad. MOM : You were wonderful. DAD : I'm proud of you guys. I don't know how you switched our flight, but thank you. Most Kids wouldn't have gone through the trouble. MATT : Most kids don't have you for a father. GIRL : How about one more song? MOM : I think that's your cue. MATT : All right. This is going to be our last song. I wrote it special for tonight. (MUSIC CUE : "CALIFORNIA DREAMS" ALL : AHHHH OOOOOOHHHH MATT : SURF DUDES WITH ATTITUDE ALL : KINDA GROOVY MATT : LAID BACK MOOD SKY ABOVE SAND BELOW ALL : GOOD VIBRATIONS MATT : FEELIN MELLOW JENNY : WON'T GIVE IT UP DON'T WANT TO STOP ALL : DON'T WAKE ME UP JENNY : DON'T WAKE ME UP IF I'M DREAMIN ALL : CALIFORNIA DREAMS JENNY : JUST LET ME LAY HERE IN THE SUN UNTIL MY DREAM IS DONE TONY : NOISE AND CONFUSION TOUGH TIMES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD LET ME KEEP MY ILLUSIONS THESE DREAMS ARE ALL : GOOD JENNY : WON'T GIVE IT UP DON'T WANT TO STOP ALL : DON'T WAKE ME UP JENNY : DON'T WAKE ME UP IF I'M DREAMIN ALL : CALIFORNIA DREAMS JENNY : JUST LET ME LAY HERE IN THE SUN UNTIL MY DREAM IS DONE) MATT : All right. Thanks a lot! Goodnight. SLY : Hey, you guys are really great. I'm glad to be a part of it -- even if it is just as a friend. JENNY : Sly, we don't want you as our friend. SLY : Huh? Why not? MATT : Because we want you as our friend and our manager. SLY : Really? You mean it? TIFFANI : Well, after all you did for us, we figured you kind of deserve it. TONY : Just don't screw up, Sylvester! -THE END- |
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