"Beat of His Own Dream" / Monday - January 18, 1999

TONY : Hey, Matt, That new tune you wrote is chilly.
MATT : Thanks, Tony, but there's no way I could sing it the way you do. You've got a great
        voice.
TONY : I'M THE BEST OF THE BEST
  YOU KNOW I'M BETTER THAN GOOD
  I'M THE FRESHEST OF THE FRESH
  COMIN OUT OF THE HOOD
JENNY : You'd be really hare to stomach if you weren't so modest.
TONY : Check out these moves...
TONY : Man, what's up? I could do that in the middle my new song.
MATT : Great idea, Tony. We'll work it in.
DELIVERY MAN : Achoo. Flowers for Tiffani achoo Smith.
TIFFANI : Bless you. Flowers for me? Cool!
MATT : Are you okay?
DELIVERY MAN : I don't know. I'm constantly sneezing on this job.
JENNY : Maybe you're allergic to flowers.
DELIVERY MAN : You think?
TIFFANI : "ONCE UPON A TIME, I WISH YOU WERE MINE.
SIGNED, YOUR UNDERCOVER LOVER."
TIFFANI : That is so sweet. A secret admirer.
JENNY : They're beautiful. I wonder who sent them.
SLY : Guys, I did it!
TIFFANI : You? You sent me flowers?
SLY : Huh? Why would I send you flowers? You're not dead. I have just convinced Sharkey to
      let us play here this Saturday night.
TONY : How much do we have to pay him?
SLY : Nothing! He's paying us.
TONY : No, man. I'm not talking burritos. I'm talking money, simoleons, wampum, do-re-mi.
SLY : Try one hundred and fifty smakeroonies!
MATT : Hey, Tony. Now that we've got the gig, it's a great chance to do your song.
TONY : Bet! I've been waiting for this for a long time. I'll check you later--I've got to tell
        somebody the good news.
TIFFANI : Who? Jasmine?
TONY : No, my dad.
TONY : Yo, Dad, Dad!
COACH WICKS : Hey, Tony! Did you see that game? We killed them.
TONY : You not only killed them. You buried them, dug em up and killed them again. You're a
       great coach, Dad.
COACH WICKS : Well it's a team effort. But yeah, you're right. I am good.
DIRK : You wanted to see me, Coach?
COACH WICKS : Oh, Dirk. That was a great screen pass you threw today.
DIRK : Uh, actually it slipped. It was supposed to be a bomb.
COACH WICKS : Oh. Well, then go do twenty laps!
COACH WICKS : So, what's up, Son?
TONY : We've got a gig at Sharkey's on Saturday night. I'm doing a solo!
COACH WICKS : Hey, that's great. Good for you.
TONY : So you'll come check it out then, right?
COACH WICKS : Sorry, I've got to scout next weeks rival. It's an important game.
TONY : My singing's important, too.
COACH WICKS : No, a job is important. Supporting my family is important. Your rock and roll
                 fantasy is not important.
TONY : It's not a fantasy, Dad. I love music. It's what I'm all about.
COACH WICKS : Tony, I busted my tail to get us to a place where you'd have a better chance
                 than I had.
TONY : But, Dad...
COACH WICKS : You've got to start thinking about your future. You've got a shot here son.
                 Don't blow it. Think about doing something more practical. Like...
TONY/COACH WICKS : ...Play football.
COACH WICKS : It could lead to a scholarship! You've got great hands. You were the best wide
                 receiver in Junior high. I was so proud of you.
TONY : Now you can be proud of me for something else. Come to Sharkey's Saturday night.
COACH WICKS : I already tole you -- I'm busy.
TONY : All right, fine. Later, Dad.
TIFFANI : You know, Dennis, with a little practice you could be pretty good.
DENNIS : Thanks, Tiffani. Hey, I'm starting a band and I need a bass player. Want to join?
TIFFANI : Well, I'm sort of in a band already. But thanks for the offer.
MATT : You're starting a band and didn't ask your own big brother to be in it?
DENNIS : Get real! You're not blond and beautiful.
MATT : Tiffani, looks like your secret admirer strikes again. This time, candy.
TIFFANI : Hey, aren't you the same guy who brought me flowers?
DELIVERY MAN : Yeah, but I quit that job and got this one. It's great. You're gonna love this
                  candy. You can't eat just one.
TIFFANI : Thanks a lot.
TIFFANI : Want some?
TIFFANI : Well, it's the thought that counts.
TIFFANI : "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M A BASKET CASE.
BUT I'M TOO SCARED TO SAY IT TO
YOUR FACE." This is so romantic.
TONY : Okay. Fire it up! Let's blow out some windows.
TIFFANI : Tony, what's wrong?
TONY : Wrong? Nothing. Why?
TIFFANI : Oh, come on. I can always tell when you're upset because you do that cute little
           bunny thing with your nose.
TONY : All right, here's the deal. My hard-headed-pigskin-for-brains-old-man thinks I'm a life
        -wasting-head-in-the-clouds-chump. So, what am I supposed to do?
MATT : Do? I don't even know what you said.
TONY : My father thinks the band's a big waste of time and I should join the football team.
JENNY : What?!
MATT : How could you do that? Between your job at Sharkey's, homework, and football practice,
        you wouldn't have time for the band.
TONY : I know.
TIFFANI : But tony, you love music.
TONY : Yeah, but I want my father to dig what I do.
JENNY : What child doesn't? You're just going through a typical "Parent-Child Pressure
         Syndrome." Believe me, at our age, no parent is proud of their kids.
MATT : Yeah. You think our dad likes this? He's always telling us to "knock off that racket."
TONY : Yeah. Yeah I guess you're right.
DAD : Hey, gang. Your mother just told me you're playing at Sharkey's. I think that's great!
MATT : Uh, Dad. Don't you want to tell us to "knock off the racket?"
DAD : No way. I love your music. I'm proud of you guys. Tony, Tiffani, I bet your folks must
      be really proud of you, too.
TONY : Yeah, he will be as soon as I join the football team. I guess I'm out of the band.
MATT : Tony, wait! Tony.
JENNY : Nice going, Dad.
DAD : What'd I say?
SLY : I can't believe Tony quit the band. He loves the drums.
TIFFANI : Wow, Sly. It's nice to see you care about a friend's feelings.
SLY : Who cares about feelings? That selfish bum is ruined the gig.
JENNY : Sly, you are without a doubt the most insensitive, inconsiderate, insidious maggot I've
         ever met.
SLY : You're right, Jenny. Maybe we should take a moment to reflect on what Tony really
      meant to out lives...
SLY : Okay, time's up. Boo hoo, I feel terrible. Now, let's find a new drummer.
MATT : We can't just replace Tony. It wouldn't be the same.
TONY : Hey, guys.
TIFFANI : Hey, Tony, how was your first day of football practice?
TONY : Great, if you like a bunch of raw-meat-eating-missing-link-jock-straps using your
        head as a dance floor.
MATT : You could always come back to the band.
TONY : Sorry, I can't do that.
SLY : Oh, I get it. You could have gorgeous groupies all over you, or you could roll around in
      the mud with Butch, Bruno, and Bubba. Makes sense to me.
TONY : If you guys had seen the look on my father's face when I told him I wanted to play
        football, you'd understand. So what if I hate it.
COACH WICKS : Hey, Tony.
TONY : I'll check you later. Me and my pops are having a couple of protein shakes.
COACH WICKS : Hey, Tony, great practice today.
TONY : Yeah. I forgot how much I loved playing football.
COACH WICKS : Yeah, and, it really showed out there. You really impressed Butch, Bruno, and
                 Bubba.
MATT : All right, Sly. Find us a new drummer.
DAD : Matt, Jenny, have either of you been using my credit card?
DAD : Sly?
SLY : Mr. Garrison -- you wound me.
DAD : Sorry, force of habit.
SLY : I understand. My dad does it all the time.
DAD : Well, somebody's been using my credit card.
DENNIS : Go easy on them, Dad.
DAD : There's a couple of strange charges here. Flowers and a "Candy-Gram"
MATT : It wasn't me.
JENNY : Yeah, me either.
DAD : Hmm. Strange.
DAD : Sly, would you mind taking a lie detector test? Just kidding...for now.
JENNY : Dennis. Well, that solves the mystery of Tiffani's secret admirer.
SLY : You've got to admit, the kid's sharp.
MATT : Why? Because he sent her flowers and candy?
SLY : No, cause he didn't spend his own money.
TIFFANI : I can't believe Dennis has a crush on me. That is so cute.
JENNY : You've got to let him down gently. If you don't it'll turn him off to relationships for the
        rest of his life. He'll wind up a lonely, depressed hermit living in a cave and scrounging
        for nuts  and berries.
MATT : No pressure, though.
TIFFANI : I know. I read an article in Sports Illustrated about the Cleveland Indians, and what
           it's like to be the losingest team in baseball.
JENNY : What's that got to do with Dennis?
TIFFANI : Everything. He's never gonna get to first base.
JENNY : What's it like in there?
TONY : Hey, how's it going?
TONY : I figured I'd stop by to see how the auditions went.
MATT : Well, they weren't exactly...
SLY : They were great!
TONY : Really?
SLY : No. They all stink.
SLY : Please come back to the band! Please, please, please.
TONY : As much as I love watching you beg, Sylvester, I can't. Me and my dad are getting
        along better than ever.
MATT : Tony, how could things be better with your dad, if you're not being honest with him?
TONY : Aw, come on, Matt. Why do you have to be that way?
MATT : Because you're acting like an idiot.
TONY : Why? Because I want my dad to be proud of me?
MATT : Who are you kidding, Tony? Your dad's not proud of you. He's proud of some football
        player.
COACH WICKS : Easy, easy. Are you okay, Son? How many fingers?
TONY : Three.
COACH WICKS : Good. That was quite a hit you took out there. And, I don't want you to feel
                  bad about that fumble.
TONY : FUMBLE!!!
COACH WICKS : No, Tony. We're in the locker room.
TONY : Oh, yeah. I'm okay, now. I've got to get back out there and play. Ow! My arm!
COACH WICKS : What's wrong?
TONY : I don't know. I guess I must have landed on it wrong.
COACH WICKS : It's just a sprain.
COACH WICKS : Forget about finishing practice. And, take it easy for awhile. You'll probably
                 have to miss the next game.
TONY : Oh, no. I'm sorry, Dad.
COACH WICKS : There's nothing to be sorry for. You gave your all out there and I'm proud of
                 you.
TONY : I'm proud of me, too.
MATT : Sly, there is no way this guy can replace Tony.
SLY : Okay, I know he doesn't exactly fit the Dreams image...
SLY : But we only need him for one gig, then we can dump him.
TIFFANI : Shh. Sly, he's right there. You might hurt his feelings.
SLY : Nah, he's a little nuts from playing the drums with his head. Isn't that right, Sheldon?
SHELDON : Why'd you call me Sheldon?
SLY : Because that's your name.
SHELDON : Oh, all right. Wait. Do I know you?
JENNY : Tiffani, you haven't told Dennis yet, have you?
TIFFANI : How'd you know?
JENNY : Because he's upstairs doing a "Home Alone" with my father's aftershave. AAAHH!
SLY : Hey, maybe Matt could whip up a little break-up ditty. Bad news is always nicer with
      music.
MATT : What, you mean something like...
   I LIKE YOU DENNIS,
   BUT IT'S NOT COOL.
   SO CALL ME WHEN YOU GRADUATE
   FROM NURSERY SCHOOL.
SLY : It works for me.
JENNY : I don't think you parents hugged you enough when you were a baby.
JENNY : Tony, what happened?
TONY : Oh, Bubba decided to throw his weight around during practice. Unfortunately, he threw it
        on my arm.
TONY : Hey, no big thing. This way I don't have to play football anymore and me and my dad
        are still cool. In fact, we're going to the movies tonight.
MATT : Gee, maybe if you break your leg he'll take you camping.
SLY : Antoine. Allow me to introduce you to Sheldon Greenblatt--our new drummer. Sheldon,
      this is Tony. He used to be our drummer.
SHELDON : Oh, okay.
SLY : Where are you going?
SHELDON : Home. You said he's the drummer.
SLY : No, Sheldon. I said he used to be the drummer.
SHELDON : Oh, okay.
TONY : You can't replace me with this retty-haired-heavy-metal-oatmeal-brain!
MATT : He was the best we could find on short notice. Okay. Let's start with "Rain."
TONY : You can't play that without me. That's my song.
MATT : We have no choice. The gig's Saturday. Sheldon, kick it off with a durm intro.
TONY : No, man! That's not it! Let me show you.
TONY : That's what it's supposed to be.
MATT : Tony, there's nothing wrong with your arm.
JENNY : It's time to stop lying.
TONY : Come in.
COACH WICKS : Hey! There's my give-it-all-you-got-no-pain-no-gain-guy! Are we hitting
                 the movies, or what?
TONY : Uh, yeah, we are. But, uh, before we go I need to talk to talk to you about something.
COACH WICKS : Sure thing...hike.
TONY : Okay, I...
COACH WICKS : Wait. This isn't about the birds and the bees is it?
TONY : Nah. No, I'm down on that one--trust me, Dad.
COACH WICKS : Cool.
TONY : Look, I wanted to talk to you because I think I'm going to have to quit the team.
COACH WICKS : What are you talking about? A sprained elbow's nothing. You'll be back out
                 there in no time.
TONY : No, I'm not quitting because I have to. I'm quitting because I want to. I'm not really
        hurt.
COACH WICKS : You lied to me? You're benched!
TONY : No, you don't get it, do you? The only reason I joined the team in the first place was
        to make you proud of me.
COACH WICKS : And I am. You're great out there.
TONY : But, I was only doing it for you. I love music. Even when I was a little kid, I was
        always drumming on pots and pans.
COACH WICKS : Yeah. You drove your mother and me crazy.
TONY : I'm a musician, Dad. I want to go back to the band.
COACH WICKS : The band? You're not a band. You're a bunch of kids wasting your time in a
                 garage. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
TONY : How would you know? You've never heard us play. You never even gave us a chance.
        Well, I gave your football a chance and I hated it. It's time for me to do what I want,
        whether you're proud of me or not.
COACH WICKS : Fine! Then do it in your room!
TONY : Fine!
TONY : Uh, this is my room.
TIFFANI : It's great to have you back, Tony. It wasn't the same without you.
MATT : I'm sorry about your dad.
TONY : Hey, it's cool. You were right, Matt. I wasn't being me. Aw man, how'd my cymbal get
       all dented!?
MATT : Sheldon got a little carried away during one of his durm solos.
DAD : Yeah! California Dreams! Encore!
MATT : Dad, what are you doing?
DAD : Just warming up.
JENNY : Well, could you do it over there? You're embarrassing us.
DAD : Gotcha. I'm cool. I'm happening.
SLY : Oh isn't that sweet? Dennis came to see his 'woman' perform.
JENNY : Did you figure out how to tell him yet?
TIFFANI : Yeah. I found a great article on crushes and positive reinforcement in "Psychology
           Today" I know exactly what to say. Dennis, may I speak with you?
DENNIS : Sure.
TIFFANI : It's very common for males your age to become fixated on older members of the
           opposite sex.
DENNIS : Huh?
TIFFANI : What you have to understand is that there are no common interests between our two
          peer groups.
DENNIS : What?
TIFFANI : Look. I know you're my secret admirer. You're a great kid, Dennis, but it just
           wouldn't work.
DENNIS : Why not?
TIFFANI : I'm too old for you.
DENNIS : Oh.
TIFFANI : Do you understand?
DENNIS : Yeah, I guess. But, can I ask you a favor?
TIFFANI : Sure, go ahead.
DENNIS : Could you give me a kiss?
TIFFANI : Sure.
DENNIS : Can I ask you another favor?
TIFFANI : Sure.
DENNIS : Could you give me fifty bucks so I can pay my dad back for the flowers and candy?
TIFFANI : Jenny's right. You've definitely been hanging around Sly too much.
DAD : Oh, Dennis...
SLY : Groupies and gentlemen! It is my pleasure to introduce... California Dreams!!
DAD : Yeah! California Dreams! Encore!
MATT : Let's do it. One, two, one, two three, four...
DAD : You've got a very talented son there, Darren.
COACH WICKS : Yeah, I guess I do.
TONY : Excuse me, guys.
TONY : What are you doing here, Dad.
COACH WICKS : I came to say that I was out of line. I'm sorry.
TONY : That's all right.
COACH WICKS : No, it's not. I had no right to tell you what to do with your life. I just didn't
                  want you to make the wrong choice, and from the looks of it, you haven't.
SLY : Guys, as much as I like watching two men hug, we've got a show to do.
COACH WICKS : Hey, I'm proud of you...son.
MATT : Let's do it.
TONY : All right!

-THE END-