"Where's Dennis" / Wednesday - January 20, 1999

JENNY : Dad, hurry up already! Dinner's getting cold!
MATT : Whoa, what's the matter with you? Painful zit?
JENNY : Almost as bad. I have a date with Adam.
MATT : So?
JENNY : So, the guy's always on time. He drives me nuts.
MATT : Then why go out with him?
JENNY : Because he's really cute. Duh!
MOM : Relax, honey. Your dad will be down in a minute. He's finishing packing.
JENNY : I can not believe that you're going with him to that boring history thing.
MOM : It happens to be a symposium on the Middle East. It should be very interesting.
DENNIS : Yeah, right.
MOM : All right, it's a boring history thing.
DAD : All right, everybody, I decided to open my speech with a joke. Listen to this. What's the
      most popular movie in Saudi Arabia?
DAD : Camelot!
DAD : Get it? Camel. Lot. The desert... Ah, what do you guys know.
JENNY : I'm sure it'll break them up, Dad.
MOM : Now, while we're gone, I've invited Grandma Garrison to come and stay with you...
DAD : Excuse me, may I ask what's wrong with Grandma?
JENNY : Nothing, Dad. She's just...getting on in years. And last visit she did some pretty
        strange things.
DENNIS : Yeah, like bringing me a glass of water in the middle of the night.
DAD : What's strange about that?
DENNIS : It had her teeth in it.
MATT : Hey, it's only for the weekend. Why not let me be in charge?
DAD : I don't know, Matt. Taking care of Dennis is a big responsibility, and you two are always
      at each other's throats.
MATT : Are you kidding? We're buds. In fact, I'm taking him to Sharkey's tomorrow so we can
        hangout together.
DENNIS : You are?
DENNIS : Oh, yeah. And he also promised me his Nolan Ryan autographed baseball.
MATT : I did?
MATT : Oh, yeah. I did. See, we're buds.
DAD : Okay. But, uh, no staying up late. And no parties.
MATT : Yes!
MOM : Jenny, where are you going?
JENNY : It's seven o'clock. Adam's here.
MOM : Well, I didn't hear anybody knock.
ADAM : I'm really sorry, Jenny. I'm... Twenty-one--no, twenty-two seconds late. It'll never
        happen again.
JENNY : Like I said, he's really cute.
DENNIS : Oh man, they got Mr. Cyclops! Matt, I've got to play.
MATT : "Mr. Cyclops?" What's the big deal?
DENNIS : It's great. You sneak into the cave to steal the treasure. But if Mr. Cyclops sees you,
          he kills you with his death ray vision.
MATT : Ooh, then what do you do? Shoot him with your laser beam?
DENNIS : No, you poke him in the eye.
MR. CYCLOPS MACHINE : Ow, my eye!
MATT : Don't you have anything better to do than play with this stupid game?
DENNIS : I could hang out with you.
MATT : Here's five bucks. Poke til you drop.
SLY : Baboom! I, Sly Winkle, manager extraordinaire, have done the impossible.
TONY : You got a date?
SLY : I'll ignore that. I have just booked the Dreams to play at one of Jake Delmonico's floating
      parties.
TIFFANI : What's a floating party?
SLY : SHHH!
SLY : It's a secret party that "floats" from location to location each week, and it's very exclusive.
MATT : This is great, Sly. When is it?
SLY : It's tomorrow night in Malibu. And I am stoked. Jake only invites the coolest of the cool.
TONY : Then I guess you're not invited.
MATT : Sly, this is fantastic. If we do well in front of that kind of crowd, I mean, it could lead
        to a lot more gigs.
SLY : Exactly.
MATT : Now, let's go practice.
MR. CYCLOPS MACHINE : Ow, my eye!
MATT : Wait a minute. I can't go to Malibu.
SLY : Why not?
MATT : Because I'm taking care of Dennis while my parents are away. The gig could go way
         past his bedtime.
SLY : What?!
TONY : Down, Sly. Maybe Jake can float his party to another night.
SLY : Float it to another night? It's a party, not a boat.
MATT : Hey, I'm sorry, man. I just can't do it.
SLY : All right, I'll see what I can do.
MATT : All right, time to get busy. Dennis, go clean your room.
DENNIS : All done.
MATT : Then go clean mine. Jenny, take out the trash.
JENNY : Pass.
MATT : Pass? You can't pass. I'm in charge, remember?
JENNY : Yes, but we still live in a democracy. All those opposed to following Matt's lame orders,
         raise your hands.
JENNY : Advantage, Jennifer.
MATT : Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
JENNY : Let me talk to her. Let me talk to her.
MATT : No. Things aren't going well at all. Jenny and Dennis aren't...
JENNY : All right, all right, we're going.
TONY : You tell that advantage-taking-authority-dodging-sister-of-yours that you're the man.
MATT : Enough, Tony. It worked. Thanks for calling, man.
TONY : No problem, man. See you tomorrow. Oh, and don't forget to brush your teeth, youg
        man.
MATT : Advantage, Matthew.
SLY : Hey, good news, Garrison. I got Jake to move the party.
MATT : That's great. When is it?
SLY : Oh, it's still tomorrow night, but I just floated it to a "closer" location.
MATT : "Closer?" How close are we talking, Sly?
SLY : You're standing in it. The party's going to be right here!
TIFFANI : I can't believe Matt agreed to let you have the party here. I mean, I figured he'd be
           way too worried about getting caught.
TONY : See, that's because you don't understand the dude. See, Matt is a totally-cool-smooth-
        as-a-cucumber-major-mellow-man. He's not worried about "mommy" and "daddy".
MATT : Help me, guys! We've still got to hide the valuables.
JENNY : Oh, yeah. He's not worried about "mommy" and "daddy."
MATT : Hey, listen. If something gets stolen or broken, or smudged even...
DENNIS : Give me back my laser gun.
MATT : Dennis, I told you we're having a party in the living room. No video games.
DENNIS : "No video games." What can I do?
MATT : You can make yourself scarce.
SLY : Come on, guys, we've got to impress Jake. Tiffani, Jenny, go lose those foo-foo knick
      knacks.
SLY : And, uh, Tony, you're the door man.
TONY : I don't do doors.
SLY : Fine, then I'll get first crack at the ladies as they arrive.
TONY : Ahh, in that case: good evening, ladies. I'm Tony Wicks, and I'll be tending to all your
        door opening needs.
SLY : All right. Well, uh, no one gets in without the password. And the password is "X" Okay?
TONY : Got it. X-O-K.
SLY : No, no, it's just "X" see?
TONY : Oh, "it's X-C?"
SLY : It's just "X" Not "O-X-C!" "X!" Gee!
TONY : Well, make up your mind: Is it "X-C!" or "X-G?!"
SLY : It's "X!!" "X!!"
TONY : "X-X?!"
DENNIS : And they say I need a babysitter.
MATT : Dennis, will you get out of here?
SLY : That's it! They're here!
MATT : Rock n' roll!
TONY : All right.
TONY : Password?
GIRL #1 : "X."
TONY : Ooh, rave on, my dear. And remember, everyone dances with the doorman.
TONY : Password?
BIKER DUDE : A-ee!
TONY : A-ee. Wrong.
TIFFANI : Jenny, are you okay?
JENNY : What? No, what time is it? Adam's got me totally wigged out. If he doesn't lighten up
         with this schedule stuff, I'm gonna scream.
TIFFANI : Well, maybe when he gets here, you could do something to rattle him.
JENNY : Like what?
TIFANI : I don't know...spill your punch on him. I bet that's not on his schedule.
JENNY : No. Knowing him, he's probably got a spare shirt in his car.
TONY : Hey, password?
TONY : Oh, you're him, aren't you? You're Jake. Hey, everybody, this is Jake.
JAKE : Cool.
SLY : Yo, Jake, how's it going, man?
JAKE : Cool.
SLY : Of course, cool! What else? This is Matt, Jake. Matt.
JAKE : Cool.
SLY : You already met Tony.
JAKE : Cool.
SLY : And, uh, Tif. This is Tiffani.
TIFFANI : Why are you wearing sunglasses inside at night?
SLY : Tiiiiif! Because it's cool.
JAKE : No, it's not. I just got back from the eye doctor. My pupils are dilated.
SLY : Cool. Like some punch?
TIFFANI : Jen, why don't you come meet Jake? He seems real--cool.
JENNY : Not now, Tif. Adam's coming.
TIFFANI : But the party started a half hour ago. I thought he was Mr. Punctuality.
JENNY : Well, to Adam, exactly twenty-nine minutes is fashionably late.
JENNY : Three, two, one.
TONY : Password.
ADAM : "X."
TIFFANI : Ooh, that's scary.
ADAM : Hi, Jen. Wow! You look fantastic.
JENNY : Thank you, Adam. You look really good too...
ADAM : Whoops. Time to dance.
JENNY : But can't we just talk for a while?
ADAM : Talk while we're dancing or we'll fall behind schedule.
JENNY : You scheduled the party?
ADAM : Absolutely. First flattery, then we dance, and then we mingle.
JENNY : Great. Then we'll kiss, get married, buy a house, have kids, then die!
ADAM : Don't be silly. You're foretting college.
TIFFANI : Punch, Jenny?
JENNY : Thank you.
JENNY : Oopsie! Oh, clumsy, unpredictable me.
ADAM : Not to worry. I've got a spare shirt in the car.
JENNY : That's it, Adam. I can't take it anymore! Why can't you ever loosen up and be
         spontaneous?
ADAM : Jenny, I can see you're upset. Maybe we should talk about it.
JENNY : Okay, great. I'm just...
ADAM : But before we do, I want you to realize it will cut into our dance time.
JENNY : Please go... Now.
SLY : All right, it's show time!
MATT : Let's do it.
TONY : Hold on, guys. Looks like I've been replaced.
SLY : Matt, do something. This is so uncool.
MATT : Dennis! It's beddy-bye time.
DENNIS : Is not.
MATT : Is too. Now, come on, get into your jammies and I'll tuck you in.
DENNIS : Cut it out, Matt.
MATT : Okay. But then I'm not going to chase those big scary monsters from your closet.
DENNIS : Creep.

(MUSIC CUE : "IF YOU LEAN ON ME"
MATT : WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH
  I'LL BE YOUR BACKBONE GIRL
  SHELTER FROM THE STORM
  WHEN IT'S COLD OUTSIDE
  I WILL KEEP YOU WARM)

MATT : All right. Is everybody having a good time?!
MATT : This is gonna be our last song. Let's do it. One, two, three, four...

(MUSIC CUE : "CASTLES IN OUICKSAND"
JENNY : WELL I COULD LOVE YOU BABY,
   BUT IT'S A FACT
   WHEN I GET TOO CLOSE
   YOU PULL RIGHT BACK
   YOUR HANDS GET COLD
   AND YOUR EYES GET SAD
   I GUESS SOMEBODY MUST HAVE
   HURT YOU REAL BAD
JENNY : WITH A NERVOUS LAUGH I CAN SEE
   YOU TRY TO COVER THE HURT,
   TRY TO JUSTIFY
   YOU BETTER LET GO SOON BABY
ALL : YOU CAN'T BUILD CASTLES ON QUICKSAND
YOU CAN'T BUILD BRIDGES ON THIN AIR
JENNY : YOU CAN'T PAPER OVER THE CRACKS
   OF A BROKEN HEART
   AND PRETEND IT'S NOT THERE
TIFFANI : OH OH NO
JENNY : YOU GOTTA LET THE STORM BREAK BABY
TIFFANI : YEAH
JENNY : YOU GOTTA LET THE STORM BREAK BABY
TIFFANI : YEAH
JENNY : YOU GOTTA LET THE RAIN FALL ALL AROUND
MATT/JENNY : AND WHEN THE TEARS RUN DRY MAYBE
      THEN YOU CAN TRY
    TO START ALL OVER AGAIN
TIFFANI : START ALL OVER AGAIN
MATT/JENNY : YOU CAN'T BUILD CASTLES ON QUICKSAND
    YOU CAN'T BUILD BRIDGES ON THIN AIR
    YOU CAN'T PAPER OVER THE CARCKS OF A
    BROKEN HEART
    AND PRETEND IT'S NOT THERE
ALL : YOU GOTTA LET THE STORM BREAK BABY
TIFFANI : YEAH
JENNY : YOU GOTTA LET THE RAIN FALL ALL AROUND
MATT/JENNY : AND WHEN THE TEARS RUN DRY
    MAYBE THEN YOU CAN TRY
    TO START ALL OVER AGAIN
TIFFANI : START ALL OVER AGAIN)

MATT : All right, all right. Thanks everybody. Good night. Okay, Jenny, will you go check on
        Dennis. Make sure he's not still upset.
JENNY : Oh, that's a good idea. But since you're the one who insulted him. You're the one who
         should do it.
SLY : So, Jake? Great time, am I right? What do you think of the Dreams?
JAKE : Well, it sounds pretty rad. And you can dance to the beat. I give it a ninety-six.
JAKE : That's cool. That means I like you.
TONY : So, uh, we'll party again?
JAKE : Cool.
MATT : You guys, this is terrible.
JENNY : What are you talking about? Jake loved us.
MATT : No. Foret Jake. Dennis is gone.
TIFFANI : Well, he's not in his room.
MATT : I'm sorry, Tif. I should have warned you. Dennis likes to booby trap his stuff.
TIFFANI : Oh, it's no big deal. I got out of the way just in time.
MATT : You should see what he does to his tree house.
SLY : Now, you tell us.
TONY : Yeah, that bobby-trapping-midget-Rambo better hope I'm not the one who finds him.
SLY : Yeah!
TONY : Yeah.
TIFFANI : Any luck?
JENNY : Nope. And we may as well stop looking around here -- his bicycles's gone.
MATT : Oh, no. That means he could be miles from here.
JENNY : I could just see it now. His little legs pedaling, tears streaming down his boyish
         cheeks, as he cries his way to the harbor and sails off to sea, never to see his
         bullying brother again. I guess there's only one thing to do.
TONY : What's she doing, man?
MATT : Cleaning. She does that every time she gets upset.
TONY : Great. Next time I need my car washed, I'm going to drive over here and run over her
        toes.
TIFFANI : Boy, Matt, it is so sweet that you care so much that Dennis ran away. I mean it was
           your fault that he did, but still...
MATT : Ah, gee, thanks Tif.
SLY : Come on, he was at the party. Hey, hey, maybe the little bambino got lucky. Ba-boom!
JENNY : You sicko!
SLY : Ow! My eye!
MATT : His eye! That's it! Tony, get your keys. I'll be right back.
MATT : Hey, watch out!
MR. CYCLOPS MACHINE : Ow! My eye!
MATT : Whoa, that's great.
MATT : Hey, you're great. Hey, Dennis, you think we can talk for a second?
DENNIS : What's there to talk about? You're a jerk.
MATT : Come on, Dennis. Sometimes you can be a pain in the butt, too.
DENNIS : You're always a pain in the butt. You don't care about me.
MATT : Dennis, that's not true.
DENNIS : Is too. You always tell me to get lost. I wish you weren't my brother.
MATT : You're right. I got caught up with trying to impress that guy, and I made fun of you.
        I'm sorry.
DENNIS : Yeah sure, until next time.
MATT : Come on, Dennis. I'm really sorry. Give me another chance. Look, I was really worried
        about you. What do you say?
DENNIS : Well, okay. But we don't have to hug now, do we?
MATT : Nah. But here. I want you to have this.
DENNIS : Your Nolan Ryan ball?!
JENNY : Feet, feet, feet, feet, feet, feet, feet.
TIFFANI : Jenny, relax. You have polished that table five times. You're going to get waxy build
           -up.
JENNY : I know, but I've got to burn off this nervous energy somehow.
SLY : Might I suggest some lip aerobics?
JENNY : How could I have missed the biggest dust ball in the house?
TIFFANI : They're back!
JENNY : What took you so long? Did you find... Mom?!
MOM : Did I find what?
JENNY : Ah, ah, did you find, uh, the history convention interesting?
DAD : Oh, sure. Right up until Professor Hillman stole my Camelot joke.
MOM : He didn't steal it, honey. It's a bad joke. Nobody would steal it.
DAD : Well, he did -- and he told it wrong, too. Ruined the whole convention for me.
MOM : You ruined it for yourself by pouting. Now, we didn't have to leave early. All right, what
       is going on here now? It's late. Where's Matt?
JENNY/SLY : Um, he's, uh, sleeping!
SLY : Yeah, oh, yeah, sleeping. The responsibility of being in charge wore the poor guy down.
TIFFANI : He's completely pooped.
DAD : Okay. Well, we're going to call it a night, too. Why don't you guys go home? Jen, time
      for bed.
MOM : Good night, guys.
MATT : Hey, guys, guys! We found him!
DAD : Matt?
MOM : And Dennis? I thought you were sleeping.
SLY : Uh, uh, uh, they they were! They were, I, I mean, they are. They're sleepwalking. Shh.
     Right, Tony?
TONY : Yeah. Yeha, I found them roaming around in the backyard.
DAD : Good try, guys. All right, Matthew. What's going on here?
MATT : Dad, Dennis and I were, uh...
JENNY : ...At the movies.
DENNIS : Yeah, he took me to see...Mr. Cyclops.
MATT : Yeah.
TONY : Yeah! Yeah, you know, some quality time -- brothers bonding.
SLY : Bonding, bonding.
DAD : Oh, so you were covering for them, huh? Well, it's good to see you and your brother
       getting along there.
MOM : But next time do it at a decent hour. Come on, Dennis, let's get you to bed.
DAD : Goodnight, everybody.
ALL : Good night.
TONY : Sleepwalking?!
SLY : Ow!
ADAM : Hey, Jenny.
MOM : What now?
JENNY : Adam, what are you doing here?
ADAM : Being spontaneous. I thought about what you said at your party tonight.
MOM/DAD : Party?
JENNY : What party?
ADAM : Are you kidding? You threw punch on me in front of fifty people in the living room. I'm
        still wearing the shirt. And ta-dah, I threw out my watch. How's that for being
        spontaneous?
JENNY : Be spontaneous tomorrow.
DAD : Kids, don't make any plans for a while. We're talking major groundage here.

-THE END-