A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.
--Louis Nizer

A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.
--Edith Sitwell

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
--Winston Churchill

Don't be so humble, you're not that great.
--Golda Meir

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.
--Benjamin Disraeli

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.
--Earl Long

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
--Alexander Pope

Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
--Al Capp

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite sameness.
--David Shipman

Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him.
--F. Scott Fitzgerald (about Ernest Hemingway)

Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep.
--Dennis Healy

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
--Groucho Marx

End of season sale at the cerebral department.
--Gareth Blackstock

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
--Oscar Levant

Failure has gone to his head.
--Wilson Mizner

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
--Neil Simon

God was bored by him.
--Victor Hugo

He's completely unspoiled by failure.
--Noel Coward

He's liked, but he's not well liked.
--Arthur Miller

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.
--Mae West

He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.
--Mamie Van Doren (about Warren Beatty)

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
--Margot Asquith

He can't help it - he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
--Ann Richards (about George Bush)

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
--Abraham Lincoln

He could never see a belt without hitting below it.
--Margot Asquith

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.
--Johnny Carson (about Chevy Chase)

He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating.
--Ayn Rand

He had a mind so fine that no idea could violate it.
--T.S. Eliot (about Henry James)

He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.
--George C. Scott

He had delusions of adequacy.
--Walter Kerr

He has a chocolate eclair backbone.
--Theodore Roosevelt

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
--Winston Churchill

He has every attribute of a dog except loyalty.
--Thomas P. Gore

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
--Oscar Wilde

He has no more backbone than a chocolate eclair.
--Theodore Roosevelt

He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.
--David Lloyd George

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.
--Robert Redford

He has the lucidity which is the by-product of a fundamentally sterile mind.
--Aneurin Bevan (about Neville Chamberlain)

He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth.
--Pauline Kael ( about Robert Redford

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
--Billy Wilder

He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.
--Eddie Cantor

He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front.
--Leonard Louis Levinson

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
--John Bright

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.
--Herbert Beerbohm Tree

He is as good as his word - and his word is no good.
--Seamus MacManus

He is brilliant - to the top of his boots.
--David Lloyd George

He is just about the nastiest little man I've ever known. He struts sitting down.
--Lillian Dykstra (about Thomas Dewey)

He is mad, bad and dangerous to know.
--Lady Caroline Lamb

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
--Samuel Johnson

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
--H. H. Munro

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
--Paul Keating

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.
--Eugene Field

He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.
-- John Steinbeck

He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease.
--Henry James

He is the very pineapple of politeness.
--Richard Brinsley Sheridan

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
--George Bernard Shaw

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.
--Ellen Glasgow

He looked as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
--Raymond Chandler

He looked like a half-melted rubber bulldog.
--John Simon

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth (about Calvin Coolidge)

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
--Forrest Tucker

He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.
--Percival Wilde

He makes a July's day short as December.
--William Shakespeare

He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously.
--Oliver Goldsmith

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.
--Margaret Halsey

He must have killed a lot of men to have made so much money.
--Moliere

He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged.
--Simone Signoret

He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.
--Leo Tolstoy

He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.
--Earl of Rochester

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.
--Sydney Smith

He strains his conversation through a cigar.
--Hamilton Mabie

He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
--John Ruskin

He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not illumination.
--Andrew Lang

He was a bit like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold and sharp.
--Kate Cruise O'Brien

He was a great friend of mine. Well, as much as you could be a friend of his, unless you were a fourteen-year-old nymphet.
--Truman Capote (about Faulkner)

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trilogy.
--Mark Twain

He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep.
--Dorothy Eden

He was as great as a man can be without morality.
--Alexis de Tocqueville