Eye-Opener
The first revival I did at this time was in a small town, near the lead mines in Missouri, called Potosi. I stayed at the home of some dear friends, Bob and Shirley Sifford. Bob had been a deacon at the Baptist church there for 27 years. Shortly before I arrived in Potosi, Bob and Shirley had traveled to a Pentecostal meeting to seek healing of the cancer that had stricken Shirley. Their visit to this meeting caused a tremendous change and blessing in their lives as they prayed and earnstly sought the Lord of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Bob and Shirley knew that I could motivate people. Even though they had not seen any kind of spiritual manifestation in me, my style of preaching led them to believe that I was already Spirit-filled. So they felt comfortable talking to me about their experience at the Pentecostal meetings.
As they shared their testimonies with me, I remember saying to myself, "I DON'T NEED THAT! I'M SAVED; I ALREADY HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT. SURELY, I HAVE ALL I NEED." But, the more they talked about the experience, the more I realized that I didn't have it. They used words like "healing" and "anointing." To me, anointing was something that every Christian had, but the Siffords were talking about receiving a SPECIAL anointing--an anointing that enables one to impart a blessing, or a healing, to someone else. They shared about the miracles they had witnessed, and about the hunger in their hearts to be Spirit-filled.
I left Potosi completely flustered about my spirituality. My mind raced: "WHY DON'T I HAVE THE SAME LEVEL OF INTENSITY AND ANOINTING IN MY MINISTRY THAT THE SIFFORDS SPOKE OF? WHAT'S MISSING? WHY DO I FEEL SO EMPTY?" As I drove to the next revival, I reflected on these questions; I couldn't seem to get them out of my head. They dominated my thoughts. A voice in my mind repeated over and over the words, "MAYBE THERE IS MORE. BUT, WHAT IS IT!"
|
