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My First Letter To My Birth Mother
before I ever knew her.
11-16-95
Dear Ginger,
Funny how that sounds so formal and insensitive - it's definitely not meant to. I have wanted to write for so long but where do I begin? What do I say? What do I call you?
First, you need to know that I respect you deeply with all my heart and soul, I truly do!! In 1964, you did a very unselfish act by giving me up for adoption. For whatever reason you decided to give me up - it was a very caring, courageous, and loving act. You must be a very sensitive person. You must have given this characteristic to me, as I am very sensitive also. I guess that is why it is critical that I write to you. I think about you very often including holidays and especially September 5th, my birthday. I wonder if you too think about my well being and me.
I find a great need to fill a giant hole in my heart to know who you are. What you are like. What your hopes, dreams, thoughts, feelings, and emotions are. What you look like. What you do for a living. Do you or what do you think about me? Why did you give me up for adoption? Do you ever regret giving me up for adoption? What is my medical background? Who is my father? How did you know him? Do I have any siblings?
I need and want you to know that I am very thankful for you giving me life. This is very important to me. If I wasn't born, I would have never gotten to know my adoptive parents, my adoptive siblings, my husband, gotten married, and had my three wonderful children. I also would have never been able to become a nurse and use that compassion you gave me.
Thank you for giving me to my wonderful, loving, adoptive parents who cares for me very deeply. They did an extraordinary job raising and guiding me in a stable Christian home fill with love, discipline and understanding. They are very loving supportive parents. But, I must be honest; I have always wondered about my birth parents. That part of my life is left in turmoil.
I find a great need to have order in my life. My husband, children, and my life will benefit greatly from my knowledge and will have a sense of peace knowing about you and my birth father. It is not my desire or intentions to cause you anguish, grief, or pain in your life by receiving this letter. I need these things and answers to complete the part of my life that is unresolved. I need to be WHOLE.
I pray you will find the compassion in your heart to return a letter or a call to me, to give all my unanswered questions, thoughts, and feelings a closure. I would love to meet you and to get to know you - but if you are unable to do this at this time, I will understand.
Once again, thank you for being my birthmother and for being so unselfish by placing me into a very loving adoptive home.
Lovingly your daughter,
Tina
(I wrote this before I ever knew Ginger and then when I did find her, I sent this to her. I wrote these things about my family because I truely believed they loved me to the best of their ability. I did not want to HURT Ginger's feelings and make her sad that I DID in fact have rough times growing up in my adoptive home.)
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