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Emotions will guide anyone in life, it all depends on the interpretation of the emotional feelings that you have. It is difficult to interpret which way your emotions want you to go, especially when you are having difficulties understanding them in the first place. When you have difficulties understanding what your emotions are telling you, it is because your thoughts and emotions are in a conflict. This will happen a lot to any of us, however nonetheless it comes down to a judgment call for you to make. You can wait for your thoughts & emotions to agree together, or you can choose with your thoughts or your emotions. I know how this feels because I have this type of conflict every day of my life.
I have recently begun to confront my demons, and I have been fighting with my thoughts (my brain) and my emotions (my heart) on how to deal with these demons. In the past I fought these demons by going into a depression and blocking out all of the emotions that a person call/will experience in his/her life. This time I refuse to do that because doing such a thing is not how you are suppose to live your life. Going into depression to fight your demons is not really fighting; it is more hiding than anything else. When you are done hiding the demons are still there to fight, so going into depression again is not an option any more. I am still having difficulties coming out of the current depression and I see no reason to reverse this action.
Recently my emotions have begun to talk to me more. It may be because I am finally sorting through my demons, or it is because Valentine's Day is near. I do not know which it is, however I do know that what I am feeling/sensing is more than I have felt ever in the past. I now know what the feeling of happiness is because I feel that every weekend. I have started to listen to my emotions and started to realize that I am at a crossroad in my life. I am unsure what to do, and really not sure how to word it either.
I have a friend that is willing to do a type of "card reading" with me. I am not sure what to expect however I trust him/her to the fullest and it will be interesting to see what these cards say about me and my future. It may be a good future or one that involves a "speeding ticket" (finally), however I doubt the "speeding ticket" thing. I trust this friend more than anyone else in my life, and he/she knows it. It is difficult trying to see my life without him/her because he/she has helped me so much with coming out of the depression that I was in. Many people requires a therapist to come out of that type of depression, however all I needed was someone that I could trust. If I didn't have this friend I probably would have a therapist helping me, but not be out of the depression as far as I am right now.
The emotions I have been feeling recently have been helping me realize whom of my family & friends deserve my attention the most. These emotions have started to sway my attention from one person to another, which is causing me to realize who my friends really are. This is a big piece of the puzzle for me to face my demons, and hopefully will teach certain family members not to treat me the way that he/she has in the past. These emotions and thoughts have begun to influence the way I am these family/friends. There are some that have realized that I am starting to spend less time with him/her and there are others that have realized that I will not call him/her back. These people are starting to realize that I am putting a distance between him/her, and myself; and many of them have contacted my parents to find out why. I don't tell my parents anything because they will just worry and tell me that I can't do such things to family, but this is just my way to sort out what I feel about certain people. There is nothing that my parents are able to say to me to change that, so I will continue to keep certain family members at a distance because of past things that he/she has done to me.
The emotions that help us determine what to do next in life are the more difficult to interpret properly. Almost one and a half years ago I met someone for the first time in a long time. I was still depressed at this time so I didn't seem to be "human", however I did have a strong feeling in my stomach when I met him/her. I did nothing with this feeling, however I did have difficulties understanding what that feeling was, but I blocked it out with the rest of my emotions. One year later, when I had decided to come out of the depression I was in, I met this same person once again. The odd thing is that the feeling in my stomach was still there. It was as if the feeling was about him/her, so I decided to spend time with the person. The feeling in my stomach stayed strong until he/she told me that he/she just wanted to be "friends". The feeling in my stomach decreased however I could still feel it. Currently the friendship that I have with this person is stronger than any friendship I have seen between any married couple, and that is saying a lot. I know of people that have been "going out" for years and do not have the connection that I have with this friend. Hopefully this connection never dies because it is the best/most unique friendship I have ever had, and know that my life is better now with this friendship than without it.
A person's emotions can/will decide who are your friends and who are just acquaintances. When you decide who to "hang out with" and who not to, it is when your emotions tell you whom you are more comfortable to be around. With all the people of the world there are many people that your emotions will not let you trust, and there are many more people that just "irk" you. Those people that "irk" you are the people that your emotions are not sure what to do because the trust is not there, however he/she seems to be okay. When your emotions seem to make you feel this "irk" that usually means that your emotions can see something that you cannot about this person. Many times this person could be around you just to "use" you, if not worse. Some times this person is just a mysterious person and you are unable to get the proper "vibe" off of the person. It is always difficult to trust many people of the world today because there are too many people of the world that is looking for ways to hurt (or take advantage of) other people.
The emotions that you have will help you decide what to do with your life. When a person is having an emotional breakdown, the person will seem to be aggravated and seem to have no (or little) control over how to deal with other people. In the eyes of many people this person will be depressed, however he/she is not but it is easy to think that way. A person that is having an emotional breakdown is actually deciding whether he/she should go into a depressed state, stay the way that he/she is, or bounce back into life as if nothing was wrong. These three decisions are always on the minds of anyone that has had a traumatic emotional thing happen to him/her. Usually when this happens it is because of a "break-up", family problems, the past being reawaken, current/past abuse, or an assault of sorts. Any of these things can/will cause a person to consider depression as an escape, however many do not realize that you are just hiding from the problem and the problem will not go away until you face it. Some of these problems may not seem serious to you, however they are more serious to those that feel the problems. When a person is having an emotional breakdown there is always a reason for it, it is never something minor because a person's emotions are stronger than people realize.
Emotions can be just as destructive as they are powerful. This is true especially when you consider jealousy as the emotion to talk about. Jealousy can be more destructive than people realize it is. Jealousy happens when you feel that you are not getting to spend the "proper" amount of time with the one that you care about, and he/she is spending time with someone else. Jealousy is one of those emotions that I think should not have been created however you can't have an emotion such as love not to have an equally powerful negative emotion to go with it. Love is the strongest positive emotion that exists, and jealousy is its equally negative emotion. It is sad to say that you need jealousy as much as you need love because of how one balancing the other. I have difficulties understanding jealousy because, as I understand, if you have the emotion of love already it doesn't matter how much time that your loved one spends with other people. Having the love there in the first place should keep you two together, however many people become jealous of others and will lose the one that he/she loves because of the jealousy that he/she had felt. Jealousy seems to be around to just test how strong a relationship is and to see how much you trust the person that you are with.
Many times that when a person comes out of a depressed state, it is not only that person that is affected by the process. Usually anyone that helped you out of that depressed state will feel better about himself/herself because of the trust and emotion that is involved in such a thing. Usually if a person is having a bad day the person will be in a bad mood. When a person that is depressed has a bad day, everyone around him/her gets attacked verbally. When you consider that, coming out of a depressed state will have a positive impact with anyone that helped you to come out of the depressed state. This is because you and the other person are feeling the same thing, and that is that you are both happy that the depressed state is being removed from the picture. Emotions are the more tricky than people realize because emotions will set the mood of anyone.
Having friends is necessary in life. You can have the odd alliance with a person and have the acquaintance, however to survive in the world you need friends. There are too many people in the world that try to take advantage of you for any reason, and you need your friends to help you when these people come around. Many people that try to take advantage of you will do it right away, however the more dangerous ones will wait for the right time to do it. Having friends will help you protect yourself from people that will take advantage of you. It is wrong, in my mind, for people like this to exist because I cannot see myself doing something like that.
Most times that a person waits to take advantage of another person, the person is waiting for the "right time". For the people that take advantage of other people, I believe that those that wait are the worst ones. Usually when the person is waiting for the "right time" it is going to be in the form of sexual relations (rape) or abuse of other sorts. When you have friends, your friends will meet anyone that you want him/her to meet. If a person is looking to take advantage of you, your friends will be able to warn you early enough because many of these types of people cannot fool more than one person at a time. This is true because a person can lie to one person without tripping over the lie, however when the lie is told to other people it is possible to lose track of what you have said already. This is how your friends are able to warn you if you are being taken advantage of.
You can fight will any of your friends over any topic. Fights just mean small conflicts, however the conflicts will not end your friendship. When a friendship is being tested there is always a reason behind it. When a friendship is close to an end, there is someone (behind the scenes) pulling the strings to cause the friendship to end. It is sad when something like this happens because the trust that you accumulate for the friendship is lost when the friendship is destroyed. Without any friendships of any kind for you to have/experience, you are an empty shell going through life. When a person is like this, it is sad because no one should ever know that type of loneliness. That type of loneliness can cause a person to go insane because of the lack of trust with other people that this person would have with the world. This type of loneliness can cause a person to consider suicide, or this person could consider killing everyone around them. It is a very destructive way to live, and in many cases death will happen one way or the other. The reason I say this is because you cannot save a person that is unwilling to be saved.
The friendships that you have in school can seem really strong at the time, however when you leave school comes the big test. Many friendships will no longer exist because you will not have any time to spend together. Being in school could be the only time that the friendship could exist, and when you leave school the friendship will diminish. It is sad to see friendships end regardless of the situation, however some friendships are also made to last the test of time. There will be friendships that you will have from the start of life to the end of life, however being able to trust someone that much is the key. The bond for that friendship will need to be strong enough to take the abuse of time. These friendships are the ones that you need to hang on to because these friendships will help you in life.
There are some friendships that are strong now, however something in the past could weaken that friendship if the past is reawakened. I have a friendship that is like that. I have some "demons" in my past that involves a friendship that I currently have. This friendship has existed for a better percentage of my life. During the friendship, around the middle, the trust that I had with this friend was bent against me. It is unfortunate that such a thing happened, especially where the friendship was bent to abuse me. The abuse is a "demon" in my past that could destroy the current friendship because it was something that shouldn't have happened in the first place. I have felt a "rift" in that friendship, however it will not destroy the friendship because I will probably not bring the past into the light. I treasure the friendship more than I thought and have lost some trust in that friend, but I still consider him/her as a friend.
With Valentine's Day only a couple of weeks away, it is good to have friends to celebrate the day with. Although this day is supposed to shared with the "loved one" in your life, I have always celebrated this day with my friends. This year I will be doing some planning for this Valentine's Day because I will celebrate it with someone that has never done anything on Valentine's Day. I see this as being sad, even though I have a thought on this website that "rips apart" Valentine's Day; I still celebrate the day with my friends. It is especially sad when this friend has gone out with people and the "loved one" didn't see the need to do something special for him/her, which is just weird. I have been told by family/friends that when you have a "loved one" to celebrate Valentine's Day with, the last thing you do is nothing for that day. I think the exact quote I was told about doing nothing for Valentine's Day with a boyfriend/girlfriend is "the instant and most easiest way to end a relationship would be not to do anything on Valentine's Day". So you can just imagine my reaction when this friend told me that he/she has done nothing in celebrating Valentine's Day in the past.
Friends have the power to help you when you don't want to be helped. I know that I have used the power of my friendships, in the past, to help me through difficult times. Having friendships is necessary to accomplish many things in life, and most of them involve with your personal success at maturity. Being able to become mature is a long a difficult time in anyone's life. Many people, such as myself, refuse to "grow up" however are still mature at the same time. I can thank most of this to my friends because they have shown me that you can still have "fun" and be mature at the same time. The rest of it I can thank to one of my siblings. If this sibling didn't show me that "growing up" seemed to mean the sacrifice of the free time for "fun", I wouldn't have refused to "grow up" myself. People say that siblings don't help each other; however in my case I think that this time was in adverted.
Life has many unexpected challenges and as long as you have your friends, nothing is too hard to get over. This is the truth and anyone that says otherwise; does not have the friends that are necessary in life.
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