Anima Patty
Patty sat quietly in a corner of the Amyrlin's study. She tried to wedge herself as far as she could in between the bookcase and the wall. Some part of her mind was still struggling for survival, and as the saying goes, "Out of sight, out of mind."
Patty stifled a hysterical giggle. She was fairly certain she was out of her mind. What she wanted was to be out of Mayadi's mind. Out of her control. Patty learned very quickly that she didn't like the "games" Mayadi chose to play here in TAR, with Patty as the victim.
Another part of Patty's mind brought up images of Mayadi dead at her feet. With the images came a roiling hatred. Patty panicked; it was her hatred that allowed Mayadi to trap her here. And Mayadi would know what she was feeling...and punish her for it. Patty rocked back and forth trying to rid herself of her betraying feelings. Mayadi moved around the desk and for a moment Patty was frozen with terror, sure another lesson in respect was about to begin.
But instead, Mayadi rose to greet three other women whom Patty could not make out from her position on the floor. A wave of relief washed over her. She's forgotten about me. Mayadi was soon involved in an argument with the women. Patty was finding it hard to follow the conversation. She just wanted her mind to shut down. She hoped Mayadi would become involved enough in dealing with these women to leave her totally alone. Lost in her thoughts, Patty missed the beginning of the conversation.
"....the nerve to break into my study and then she acted as if she had every right to be here. I would have Stilled her if her little friend had not gotten Stilled instead." Patty screamed in her mind, No! NO!! Don't pay attention to me! Leave me alone!! I'm not here! You don't see me! Out of sight, out of mind! She lost track of the conversation again.
"...more careful. The fact that you broke the 3 oaths is sure to clue them in. If they discover that we serve the dark one our influence and reputation will vanish and the whole world will be against us instead of them." Oh Light, oh Light!! Black Ajah! NO, No, no, no, no...
This new information sent Patty fully into herself again. Trapped. Black Ajah. No. no. no. Her whole body shook in fear and denial. Alone. Alone with the Black Ajah Part of her knew that this information was vital; that she needed to let everyone at the Purple Tower know. But she was powerless, and alone. Her thoughts took her in a downward spiral, away from Mayadi, away from pain, away from herself.
In the waking world, Rebecca startled the Ayenda Vera assembled with her announcement that she would join Kait in her mission to TAR. Jen and Kait turned their attention to her, but Meranda's attention turned back to the woman on the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably. There was still some part of her mind connected to her body because she seemed to be reacting to what was happening to her in TAR. Meranda didn't even want to imagine what Mayadi might be doing to her friend. But from the reaction of the body, it was surely unpleasant.
Suddenly the shaking stopped. And so did her breathing. "No!" Mera cried. She placed her right hand on Patty's head and the left on her chest. "Breathe..." was the whispered command. Patty's body responded to Mera's magic. But slowly.
"What's wrong now?" Jen demanded anxiously. "I believe her mind is trying to flee her body. To end her suffering. I can keep her breathing, but without the will to live, we will certainly lose her."
Cuebiyar Jen
Jen looked at Rebecca as she came in and announced herself. "Okay. Both of you--Kaitlyn, Rebecca. Go on ahead; I know both of you are experienced in TAR. Stick together though--whatever's holding Patty is strong. She needs all the help you can give her. Mera, if anything goes wrong with either of them, if they won't wake up or if they stop breathing--wake them up and let me know however you can. Just don't leave anyone here, whatever you do." Jen hesitated, worried. "I ... I don't want to leave you, but I have to take care of some business. I'll be back ... as soon as I can be back."
She left the room then, everything plaguing her mind, each problem attacking her from every side. She worried terribly about them, but she knew that everyone in the Purple Tower was competent, and they could handle the situation. She trusted them.
Jen rounded the corner into the Indigo wing, clustered around the library. The former English office was now Vree's study. She tapped the office's door lightly with her knuckles. "Vree?"
The Indigo Sitter looked up, tired, from a huge stack of papers.
"I'm going to be busy for the next couple of days or so--Ryn managed to coerce me into a string of meetings with the Grey Ajah. Do you suppose you could spare a few days to hold down the fort, so to speak?"
Vree looked over to the wall where the clock hung, to her never-ending stack of papers, and back to Jen. "I suppose," she said. "All these ... deadlines ..."
Jen managed to smile. "Don't worry about it. Katassa and Laraina will help you if you need it. I'm really sorry about this ...."
"It's okay."
"Thanks." Now that that was done, Jen headed to her office downstairs in what used to be the main office of the school. It still smelled of pencils and copy paper, though the copier was long since gone. And she was left with a bloody Macintosh computer! At any rate, the computer didn't bother her; there were much more important things on her mind. Much more important. She picked up the phone and dialed that familiar number. That which very few people knew ...
"Hello?" the voice on the other end answered.
"Hi," Jen said--not friendly, but like talking to someone that she'd rather not talk to. A confrontation beginning.
"Who is this?"
"Do you know what you did?"
"Who am I speaking to?"
"Do you know what you did?" Jen repeated, this time more intense.
"Jennaea, is that you?"
"Who else would it be?" She paused. Mayadi didn't speak. "Do you know what you did? You bloody stilled her. You STILLED her!"
"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Come on, Mayadi. Back in Tel'aran'rhiod! She can't touch the Source anymore because of you! She can't channel, and it's all your bloody fault!" Jen's voice now was heated with anger.
"Tel'aran'rhiod? Come, Jennaea, you know I can't Dreamwalk."
"Bloody lying bitch."
"Aes Sedai don't lie, child." So she was a bloody lying condescending bitch, was she?
"Black Ajah do."
"Don't imply that which you have no proof of."
"Light! You STILLED her!! The fact that you even thought of channeling to harm another proves you're Black Ajah! You broke the flaming Three Oaths that are so precious to you and your archaic White Tower! What else do you need to prove it?" She was screaming now.
"I assure you, I have no connections to the Shadow. I walk in the Light, as all Aes Sedai in the White Tower do." Mayadi's voice never wavered, never changed.
Jen was sure that inside, the Amyrlin was seething with anger, just as she herself was.
"Please hang up now, child. I have no further wish to speak to you."
She sincerely wished that the bitch would quit calling her "child". Jen held her temper in check, though, for once in her life. "Just remember," she said, and hesitated before going on. "Just remember." And she slammed the phone down. Light. She wanted to hold on to her convictions, she wanted to believe that she was right. There was no one else to blame except Mayadi. It had to be her. But there was a part of her, a part that wanted to believe that the other woman was right.
And what if she was telling the truth? It was certainly a possibility. Even so, if she was, and had never been to TAR, and couldn't walk the Dream, Patty was still Stilled. Someone had to have done that, and Jen knew that who- ever they had encountered in TAR held a great amount of the Power. Someone as strong as Mayadi; maybe stronger. Someone wearing her face. That sort of thing was possible in TAR. But ... how could they find out who that was? Jen sighed. Another mystery.
The telephone shook Jen out of her thoughts. She picked it up gingerly. Few people knew this number.... "Hello?"
"Mother Jen?"
"Yes?" The voice was unfamiliar. If this number had gotten out....
"This is Ryn. We're ready for you."
Thank goodness it was someone she knew; she was starting to worry. "Oh. You sound different on the phone." She smiled as much as she could. "We'll be right over. Give me a couple minutes to get everyone. I'll see you in a couple minutes."
"Alright, wonderful. Bye."
"Bye." She hung up the phone. She loved this PA system. It still worked, which was great. She pressed the buttons that indicated the rooms of Kelly, Nyna, and Accepted Katja. "Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood Cuebiyar speaking. The negotiations with the Grey Ajah are going to begin very soon. I hope you're all packed; the talks are going to take a day or so and we might have to stay overnight. Meet me at the side entrance, by the Lilac wing, in about five minutes and we'll go from there."
Jen ran upstairs briskly to get her own bags, then ran back down and waited.
SianSepta Lia, Plum
Lia sat alone in her study... Staring at the small Faerie sculpture that rested in the glass cabinet... She reached out before her, and saw a light glinting off her finger... "What the..?" She knew the Purple ring gave a more subtle plum hue... Turning her head, she saw the source of the light.. A ring.. reflecting the light from the room... A twisted Barbed Wire ring, on the third finger of her right hand.... The ring of the Black Ajah... Wrenching it from her finger she Swore, the wire cutting deep into her flesh.. The ring would always leave scars when removed, so the others could tell if the wearer was betraying them... Staring at the blood welling up on her flesh, the most brilliant of ideas came to her... It had been so obvious she missed it... But could she go through with it..? Lia stood, "For the Tower... For Patty, Yes.. I can do this... " Running from the room she ran to Jen's study.. Breathless, she banged on the door..
Jen opened the door startled, "Lia.. What is it..? What's wrong..?" "Mom.. You have to teach me to Dreamwalk... "
"Lia.. I can't, not with everything else going on.. Patty and..."
"No Mom..." Lia cut her off, " You have to teach me to Dreamwalk..." Sliding the twisted ring on her finger she stared deep into Jen's eyes, taking a deep breath and knowing this would sound odd as she'd never spoken about her past before...." I was there... I know how they work... I know how to combat them, and I know... How to be Black Ajah......"
Jen stared..
Cuebiyar Jen
"You what?" Jen wondered aloud, incredulously.
"I know how to be Black Ajah," Lia repeated, flustered and obviously not wanting to go on with such details. "You have to teach me how to Dreamwalk."
Jen considered this, and glanced at the school clock still hanging on the wall. Nyna and Kelly were waiting for her, and Katja would probably be there any minute.
Lia only stared at her with impatient silver eyes.
"Alright. But you have to come with us; I won't have much time to spare over these next couple days."
She smiled that odd half-smile of hers. "Thanks, Mom," Lia said.
"Meet us at the side entrance by the Lilac wing. I'll be waiting."
Anima Patty
"Sa souvrya niende misain ye." -- "I am lost in my own mind...."
Dark. Black. Floating.
No time. No space. No feeling.
Utterly and totally alone.
A voice whispered, "Sa souvrya niende misain ye." Whose voice?
My voice. My voice.
Who am I?
A new voice, "Always Patty."
A flash of recognition. A split second of clarity. It fades.
The darkness is all. The darkness is alone. No light. No hope. No source... no Source.
This last, this last should bring more pain than it does. An ache. A void.
No fair! Cut off! Must grieve! my voice.
~~Comfort~~ ~~Stregnth~~ ~~Courage~~
Startlement. Recognition. :::?:::
:::Sister, we come:::
A leaping heart. A ray of hope. No longer alone.
:::You have been closed to us too long. We come.:::
Fear. Panic. :::She will cause pain and death.::: Images of Mayadi twisted and Black. Terror.
~~Comfort~~ ~~Courage~~ ~~We come, Sister~~
No longer floating. No longer apart. No longer alone.
Patty raised her head from where it was cradled on her arms. She had no way to judge how long she'd been gone. She was no longer in the Amyrlin's Study. She felt panic begin to overwhelm her. ~~Courage~~
She looked around to study her surroundings. She was in a cell. She assumed she was still in the White Tower in TAR, but in reality she could be anywhere. The cell was small and empty. The floors and wall were uniformly grey. There was no door.
No door! Panic threatened again! ~~Comfort~~ ~~Courage~~ :::We draw nearer.:::
Patty tries to rise but finds she is bound by flows of air around her. She moves her head to reassure herself that not all motion is denied her. She fights to calm her racing heart and rapid breathing.
Patty is startled to feel a gentle hand on her head. With a start she looks up into the face of Mayadi. She can feel her mind willing itself to slip again, but fights to stay in control and aware. The depth of emotion just seeing Mayadi creates is totally alien to Patty. The fear is numbing and it would be so easy just to slip away again...
~~courage~~
It is enough to no longer be alone in her fear. Patty latches onto the strength coming to her from the Pack, but even with that aid does not know how long she can withstand new terror and pain.
Mayadi creates a throne-like chair for herself and settles in front of Patty. Patty, still unable to move against the bonds holding her, remains huddled with her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them.
Mayadi bestows an insincere smile on her guest. "Pet...I thought you may have left us there in the Study." She reaches out to stroke Patty's head again, like a mother soothing a restless child. Patty tries to shrink from the touch but has nowhere to go.
"It would have been an inconvenience to lose you now. You make such lovely bait." The petting continued as Patty shuddered inside. "Why I'm sure even now some of your Sisters are on their way to rescue you. Won't that be lovely? In a short time I'll have a collection. One of every color!" Mayadi chuckled at the thought; Patty wavered toward the darkness again. Mayadi's voice lost her soothing tone as she wrenched Patty's head back on her neck and brought her back to herself. She leaned in closely, menacingly. "Because soon enough, " she whispered in a soft growl, "soon enough, your "Mother" will come to fetch you. And then the fun will really begin."
Mayadi's face seemed to waver through the tears streaming from Patty's eyes. She releases Patty's head abruptly and it snapped forward on her neck. Patty raised her head slowly in anticipation of the next attack. Mayadi was gone.
Gone? Not staying to torment me for a while? Patty scanned the room as far as she could. Mayadi really had left. Relief washed over Patty, but she tried not to let her guard relax. Mayadi was one for playing games as Patty knew too well.
Patty let her head fall onto her knees again; but this time keeping her senses alert to any new movement in the room. She reveled in the comfort of knowing she was not alone. :::You never were. We were always here.:::
SianStudè/SianSepta Kait, Mauve
As soon as the Cuebiyar exited, Kaitlyn turned to Rebecca with a deter- mined expression on her face. "Let's go," she said. "We don't have any time to waste!" She glanced down, noting the thick rugs on the floor, and lay down. Her face twisted in a wry smile as she composed herself for sleep--it was lucky she had been out late, and was still so tired, for sleep came easily. As she drifted off, she could hear Meranda station herself by the bed, where she could watch all three of them easily.
Kait waited impatiently in the TAR version of the room. It was devoid of people, of course. Mera was awake, concentrating on the waking world, and Patty was being held elsewhere. As she waited for Rebecca to join her, she wondered about the situation she was leaping into. Part of her still couldn't believe that Mayadi had done this. But Jen had said so, very clearly, and Rebecca had confirmed that the Amyrlin was Black Ajah. The Mauve SianSepta's blood boiled as she thought of how Mayadi had deceived her. Not just her- everyone in the White Tower, everyone that had once been part of the White Tower, all of Tar Valon, the whole world! They had all trusted her, most of them had liked her... and all that time, she had been Black Ajah, just waiting for a chance to destroy them. And what she had done to Patty....
All these thoughts occurred in the space of a few instants, and then Rebecca entered TAR. As befit a novice, she expected Kait to take the lead, but Kait had other ideas. "I know that you're used to obeying my orders, my dear," she told her, "But from what I understand, you have more experience here than I do. So you are the leader of this expedition- until I say otherwise, at any rate." Kaitlyn's lips twitched in a small smile.
Rebecca's eyes widened slightly at the prospect of issuing orders to the SianStudè, but she nodded. Kait waited for her to speak.
Anima Patty
The wolves were a constant presence in Patty's mind now. She rejoiced in the sharing. The distance they had traveled was far; as far as distances go in TAR. One wolf, unknown to her before, named Moonlight Dancing was the strongest voice in her mind.
:::Sister, others come.:::
Patty became fully alert. She could feel her heart twist, but she was uncertain if it was joy or fear that caused the reaction. :::'Ware Sister. Friend or foe?:::
:::Scouts return. Others smell of you.::: The saying was inaccurate; what Moonlight Dancing sent was images of two women who, to the wolves, had the smell or feel of Patty. People associated with her. People who projected an aura of rightness that the Black Sisters in TAR didn't.
Relief flooded Patty's thoughts. :::Look closer, Sister. Show faces.::: Although the sending was to Moonlight Dancing, all of the wolves could hear it. One of the scouts who was closest to the two women moved in closer without being seen. He sent images that gladdened Patty's heart. Kaitlyn and Rebecca!!
Patty thought on this information for a moment. She knew neither Kait nor Rebecca was Kin. But here in TAR the rules were changed. How the wolves even knew how to locate her merely by following her thoughts was a mystery to her. She sent to Moonlight Dancing.
:::Sister! Can you speak to these women? Non-Kin?:::
Patty could almost see the wolfy grin she was sure Moonlight Dancing was grinning. :::YES!!:::
:::Can you lead them to me?::: Patty was almost alight with anticipation.
:::YES!!:::
Patty laughed out loud and the sound startled her. She looked around quickly to see if she had drawn any attention to herself. She hadn't, as far as she could tell. She felt almost reckless in her joy of knowing help was on the way.
~~~Joy!~~~ ~~~Anticipation~~~ ~~~Glee~~~ Was sent along to Moonlight Dancing as the Pack moved off to intercept the two women.
It wasn't easy, but Patty settled herself down to wait.
SianSepta Lia, Plum
Lia went with the others as she was asked. Knowing she really had no desire to meet with any Aes Sedai.. even the Greys, she stayed behind as the mediations were held.... Soon, she began to feel like a third wheel on this journey.. knowing that Jen had only taken her because Lia requested a favor.
She sat in the hotel room, waiting as the preliminary meetings were arranged... The light was bright, so she knew she could sleep. "I'll never know if I don't try... " She said out loud to the fixtures and the ceiling fan. Concentrating on the fan itself, she lay on the bed, Willing her mind to enter the Dream Realm. It can't be any harder than willing myself to channel, she thought, closing her eyes....
The air was warm on her face... sunlight streaming through her hair... Her blonde hair... No.. She wasn't in TAR.. it was still a dream... and not even her own... "Illyena!"
What?"
"I need to find Patty."
Who?
"Patty, the Anima... My... My friend"
Where?
"Tel'aran'rhiod.. Can you find her? Can you walk the World of Dreams?"
Why?
"Because Mayadi's Stilled her... And Kaitlyn and Rebecca are there.. and Mayadi's Black Ajah.. and.. and... and so am I!"
No you aren't.
"I am too.. maybe not practicing but..."
No you aren't.. You are white as White can be.
"Okay Illyena.. I'm White... but I have to pretend to be Black Ajah... Patty.. My.. friends they need me."
Yes.. They need you... I will help...
"Thank you Illyena... Thank you.."
Lia felt the hug in her mind.. Somehow she knew... Even though Illyena had never channeled in her life... The Saidar that Lia wielded was actually Illyena's.. that was why Lia wasn't as strong as many Accepteds were. But Why Lia could take out and Asha'man with Saidin.. she never could know.
"How Illyena.. please.. How..?"
With the love in your heart Ayende, With the love in your heart..
With the love in my heart..? Lia thought, I don't understand her thoughts.. I...
The picture became clear.. She felt the purple ring on the chain under her dress, and felt her love... for Patty... For the Purple Tower... Instead of focusing her hate for Aes Sedai.. especially the Black.. She had to focus on her love... This was why she never could do it... Because Love was something she had never known... not since Liandrin had adopted her.
Feeling with her heart.. she peeled back the curtain between Dreaming and TAR... She wore the Silk divided dress of deep green.. The black shawl covered her shoulders, and the twisted ring adorned her hand... Keeping her thoughts focused she called to Patty... Hoping that the same bond she had with Jen would hold to Patty....
Patty... Patty... I'm here... Don't answer me... But.. I may have to hurt you to get you out of here... That is.... If they ask me to prove allegiances... Pray they don't...
Lia dove deep inside herself and called up all the hate she felt for anything... and twisted it in the mind mirror to see hate for all good things... Hate for the Purple tower... Her heart knew it wasn't the truth, but her mind would believe anything put before it.
A tap on her shoulder made her whirl.
"Why have you worn your shawl, We were supposed to look like ordinary women..."
"It slipped, Sister," she replied, making her shawl disappear. She walked with the Black Sister to the meeting room..
Almost 50 women were gathered there.. Aes Sedai counseling Kings and towns. Wisdoms that once cared lovingly, now wore the twisted ring. The all spoke amongst themselves.. of two things... Of Patty, and of destroying the Tower. Both towers! Apparently, the Purple was holding the reins of the White... The people were so confused over which was truer they were losing allegiances to the Aes Sedai.. and If Mayadi were to lose her control over Tar Valon... Lia relished the information... As much as she hated Aes Sedai... she didn't want to believe they'd actually harm the Tower without just cause. But wait.. what's this... They knew where the Annex was..! Who had told them.. Lia guessed a new Novice who had been brought in just yesterday was the culprit.. I'm going to ring her scrawny little...
"No.. A full Sister of theirs... " A woman was saying.. " She turned on them with no cause..."
Who Damn you Who! Lia thought angrily... None of us would.. ever--
"...went by the name of Lia I'd guess. Heard she turned on the Aes Sedai as well..."
Lia couldn't control the shock in that... I'd never.. I couldn't.. I love..
"No.... It was Triante Dinnaea... Guess she taught a Novice course in Sciences.."
I should have known... I have to find Patty... She winked out... But the hate in her grew at hearing her own name that she lost her hold and appeared in the Hotel room... Or maybe it was because it was Dark, and she had to wake up... Sitting in the bed, she channeled the light on... flipping the switch with Air... Looking at her own fingers, something hit her like a stone "Patty... I never thought I used the power that much... either of them... But even the few things I do with it... the few tiny little specks of power I use.... I am so so sorry.... "
And Lia... in a very rare moment for her... Began to cry.... Silver tears falling like molten lead on her hands....
Studè Rebecca
"Okay, if you insist on me leading we might as well start where I last saw Mayadi, the Amyrlin's office." Rebecca suddenly had an image of Patty in a cell. It was the wolves! Rebecca had been able to talk to them once, but she hadn't tried in years, not even in TAR. The wolves wanted her and Kaitlyn to follow.
:::Follow, Sister::: It was Moonlight Dancing.
Rebecca had never spoken to this wolf before. There were probably a lot of wolves she had never met before. Rebecca wasn't even sure she could talk to them outside of TAR anymore. But she knew no that she wanted to. Rebecca realized Kaitlyn was waiting for her. "The wolves can lead us to Patty," she told Kaitlyn, as Moonlight Dancing stepped out of the shadows. Rebecca received an image of the White Tower. She sent one of the Amyrlin's office to the wolf and told Kaitlyn to meet her there. In a matter of seconds, the three of them were heading away from the study and starting down a set of long, winding, metal stairs. When they reached the bottom, she saw Patty sitting in an open cell at the end of the hall. She must be bound with flows of Air. Rebecca started towards her and saw the look of ecstasy on her face. But not surprise. She had known they were coming. The wolves had told her.
"I knew you guys would help," Patty said happily. Rebecca wanted to cut the flows of Air and help Patty. "Where is Mayadi and what will happen if I cut these flows of Air?" she asked. The wolves sent her an image of Mayadi entering the room.
"Try it and find out," Mayadi answered. Rebecca whirled around, embracing saidar. Before anything else could happen, Kaitlyn, who had managed to hide before Mayadi entered the room, had shielded Mayadi, releasing the flows of Air holding Patty. Moonlight Dancing went to help Patty. Mayadi's face had changed when she was shielded. Whoever this was had been using the OP to look like Mayadi. But who was it? And where were those other women?
Cuebiyar Jen
The Purple delegation arrived at the Tar Valon hotel where the meeting with the Greys was to take place. In accordance with the formality of the situation, Jen wore a multi-hued purple banded cloth draped over her arms (only slightly reminiscent of the Amyrlin's stole) and the others wore solid- colored cloths similar to Jen's.
An older Accepted of the White Tower was waiting for them in the lobby. She wore the traditional banded dress uniform the White Tower still insisted on using. Dark curls framed her Saldaean features. Noticing their presence, she stood and dropped a light curtsy. "Good morning, ah ..." She fumbled for the word, not sure what to call Jen.
"Cuebiyar," Jen supplied, trying to smile. She was positively nervous. The White Tower was something she'd left behind ages ago. She didn't want to deal with it again. But ... it was for Ryn, who thought that this would truly help things.
"Yes, Cuebiyar," the Accepted repeated. "Good morning. I'm Sana. Please follow me."
"Of course." Jen smiled and motioned for the rest to follow.
"They're in here," Sana said, indicating a walnut-paneled set of doors.
Jen followed Sana into the conference room. The table was circular, with a Grey sister at......
Oops! Looks like we lost something!
