Capricorn at it's best . . . or is that worst?

The first thing anyone realizes when they come to know me is that I love horses. The second is that I'm paranoid. There are good reasons for me to be paranoid, but I won't bore you with sordid details. Anyway, despite my paranoia, I decided to write a little about me. (After all, I believe you deserve some warning.)

~Past~

I am a college graduate, with a diploma in Pre-Veterinary Medicine. One of my overriding passions is animals, particularly horses. If you want to get in an overextensive conversation with me, that would probably be the topic of choice. I can talk forever on the benefits of beneficent versus instigational training, or on the life cycle of Taenia taenius. Needless to say, probably more than you wanted to know. It's even more than I wanted to know, but such are the penalties of education.

Being a right-brained person, I also love the theatre and arts. I like to paint in watercolors and acrylics. I use pastels, conte crayons, graphite, charcoal, clay . . . you name it, I've tried it. (Artistically speaking, of course.) I also participated in drama through high school and dabbled in theatre in college. (Even though my counselor thought it was a complete waste of time.) My favorite roles were Mrs. Allan in Voices From Washington High and Lady Bracknell in The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. I'm an amateur photographer, which is what introduced me to computers and the wonders of graphic design.

As for "details" of my life, I've moved with my family roughly every two years. I loved the challenge of going to new places and meeting new people, but I'm glad it's mostly over. My dad joined the Air Force when I was six, slowing us down somewhat and giving us the opportunity to live overseas. I've been accused of being "Euro" at times . . . I have yet to figure out if that's a good thing. Like anyone else, I have lots of little quirks and secrets, which I just may share with you if you catch me on a good day.

~Present~

I'm living in Salt Lake City, Utah. It's not the best thing in the world to happen to me, but such is life. I work for a production company as a graphic/webpage designer. I love it, though I'd rather be mucking out horse stalls. I'm single, for reasons that I also might share with you on a good day. (It might have something to do with the "rather" above; I haven't figured that out, either.) Besides art, I love to read and write, which is why the focus of my site is original literature. (No one else will publish it, so why not?)

Other than that, my life is relatively boring. Which just might be the reason I feel the need to spice it up with role-playing. RP gives me a creative outlet. I look at it as a wonderful type of impromptu acting. A good RP gives me the same adrenaline rush that the stage used to. I might be addicted . . . . I think I am addicted. Oh, well. I could be doing worse things.

The most important thing in my life is my family. I have two amazing parents. (Of course they're amazing, I trained them well.) I am the oldest of four children, two brothers and a sister. I'm wildly jealous of all of them for different reasons. And I have a beautiful Scottish Deerhound named Banff (see left), who loves me dearly. My dad thinks he's his dog, but my dog and I know better. (I hope my dad doesn't read this . . . . I love you, Dad!) Anyway, they live thousands of miles away. It's sad, but that's the military for you.

Philosophy and discussion of belief systems are hobbies of mine, too. I love to hear about religions and other beliefs. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe it. It's true. Ask me all you want about it, I'm not shy where that's concerned.

As for who I am . . . that's a really good question. All I can tell you is who I see myself as, which is probably not the full truth. (But at least I know that, right?) I think of myself as being a relatively caring person. I want people to be happy. This isn't nearly as noble as it seems. When I'm around people that are unhappy, I begin to reflect their feelings. I can get pretty grumpy, on occasion, though I'm doing better about letting things go.

I love to laugh. As a result, I often laugh at myself, since other people tend to get testy when I laugh at them. And believe you me, I provide myself with plenty of entertainment. Someday I'm going to write my biography so if I ever have a descendant who wants to be a comedian, he or she will have a secret source for material. Maybe I'll even let my little brother use it, though I'd rather wait until after I was dead to reach notoriety. I do not want to be famous while I'm alive. I have enough troubles, as is.

I don't have a giant store of trust for people. Part of that is for reasons I know and understand, part isn't. But if you do become my friend, you're stuck for life. (Just a warning for the unwary.) I'll fight tooth and nail to protect my friends. And it doesn't matter who you are, if you ask me for help, I'll probably do all that I can. Again, that is more selfish than it seems. When I can help other people, I feel important . . . or at least needed.

There was a time in my life where I wasn't sure life was worth living. I looked at everything and saw how grey and depressing "real life" was. Then there were things that happened to me that forced me to look at myself and the way I acted. I realized that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. If no one sees beauty, it still exists, but its purpose is never met. Life is made for us to have joy. I believe that with my whole heart. When I look at the rain, or the sunshine, or wake up at 5 am to the sound of birdsong outside my window, or get that long-awaited telephone call from my parents, I'm reminded that there are things in life that death can never replace, or make up for.

Anyway, that's enough baring of my soul. If I think about it, I'll probably erase it all, so I'm just going to forget I typed it. Onward!

~Future~

Here . . . take a breather.
~Rules to Live By and Other Important Stuff to Know~

I hope someday to move to Oregon. The rain and I belong together. Eventually, I'm going to breed Scottish Deerhounds and AraAppaloosa. And, of course, I'm searching for my true love. I've discovered it's like the search for unicorns. The experience is in the seeking, not only in the acquisition. I have also come to understand that the important thing is to be happy, no matter where you are or who you are with. Maybe a trite idealistic, but it works for me. I'm beginning to like who I am because I practice being happy.

To me, the future can care for itself. If you plan for the future, learn from the past, and live in the present, you can have nothing more to ask for. Happiness is here. Joy is now. If you don't grab it and hold on for all you're worth, you will be no different from any of the millions of people who have traveled through this world. You cannot wait for something as precious as happiness to fall into your lap. If it did, you would not understand its worth.

I think now would be the time to poke you to see if you're still awake. If you are, you have more staying power than I do. I tend to get a little preachy, at times. It's a trait of my family. But at least I'm not forcing you to read this, right? At any rate, I probably should stop before I say too much, if it isn't already too late. So I'll end with an excerpt from one of my favorite poems.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost~