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Here it is - The UFO poll response "Do UFOs Exist?" - The PollBy The Illegitimate Comedian - Mundane Minister for Roswell/Mirth and MerrimentFirstly, Thanks are in order for the residents of Fortune City who made the poll a huge success and continue to demonstrate their high degree of community spirit, etc, etc, etc... Now with that crap out of the way, the results are in! It was our intention to answer the nagging question of, "Do UFOs Exist", once and for all by presenting, studying and analyzing the informed and intelligent opinions of the FC Community. Unfortunately, even the best of intentions seem to go bottoms-up as did this one. Do UFOs exist, damned if I know, maybe you can figure it out. Participants in the poll ranged from the wondrous residents of Fortune City, to some of my reality-challenged comedic cohorts to even, Yes! - residents of that other Free Community whose initials are GC. We had a shaky start, being that the poll was abducted around the seventh of October, due to the providers switching his IP and using an old backup to restore data - Unfortunately, we lost the first week of posts. Thanks again to all of you who did re-post when asked, I'll remember who you are and maybe will even refrain from doing something nasty to you, if the voices aren't too overpowering! Before we continue, please keep an eye on the boards for next month's project - Thomas T. Turkey's Head Takes A Thanksgiving Holiday . Don't blame me for this one though, it is brought to you via the abnormal thought processes of Nicole Hollowood of ABeRRANt StUdIOS. So without further du du...er...I mean ado!, here is the poll in it's entirety: We at Fortune City are going to decide once and for all, at least in our own minds, if Unidentified Flying Objects (UFO) do or do not exist! The edited results of this poll along with selected opinions will be published in The Fortunian Times. I think UFOs exist because my dog barks in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. OR I don't think Flying Saucers exist because if they did, there would also be reports of Flying Cups & Spoons. Author: Flirbnic Subject: UFOs sure do exist and I have proof Date: Thu Oct 30 10:37:01 1997 Message: UFO stands for Unidentified Flying Object. Not Alien space craft. If it's an object, and it's flying, and you don't know what it is, it's IS a UFO. Not a flying noodle or a space craft, a UFO. There you go, proof that UFOs exist. Author: Satnin Subject: Of course they exist! Date: Wed Oct 29 16:00:27 1997 Message: Yes, I vote that they do exist...I have seen what I believe to be U.F.O.'s.. Besides, I can't imagine that we are the only life forms in the universe....intelligent or other wise! There are just too many things that point to the existance of others.....the statues on Easter Island, crop circles, things that look like runways from the sky, drawings found in ancient caves that appear to be beings in space suits..how did these things, among many others, come into existance? It seems to me that it would be very presumptuous(sp.) of us to think we are alone in the universe. I believe the government has lied to the people for years! Guess they think we are stupid! NOT!!! Author: Mr G Reaper Subject: YES YES YES they do exist Date: Wed Oct 22 08:20:36 1997 Message: Well, i have reason to believe they exist as do you really think that we are alone in this Galaxy BE SERIOUS just becuase we think taht we are the most intelligent life force it doesn't mean to say we are, As i could say if i wanted to that I AM GOD but it doesn't mean to say that i am. Lets be realistic to much has happened not to believe that SOMETHING IS OUT THERE. Mr G Reaper Author: Paulinho Subject: The UFO question Date: Tue Oct 21 18:38:42 1997 Message: Is there a human explanation for UFOs/alien sitings? asks the questioner. The answer may be closer than we think. The history of our speices shows some unusual inconsistencies a recent researched example being the extraordinary construction of some of the Egyptian pyramids. Many ancient 'primitive' civilisations can show conceptual/architectual feats which seem at odds with their general level of advance.All this feeds the theory that they(we) received outside help from time to time and all eyes turn heavenwards. However I am more inclined to look under my feet: Advanced human beings (Atlanteans?) who have been around a long time pursue a separate developement UNDER the earth emerging from time to time to integrate and assimilate. Author: KC Subject: They have too be! Date: Sun Oct 19 21:47:41 1997 Message: Its either the government w/ some high tech machine there not telling us about and we don't even know whats out there... we could be so dumb, and the aliens could be so smart compared to us maybe even 100 times smarter look at the space crafts! Author: Ren Angel Subject: UFO's Date: Sun Oct 19 06:44:35 1997 Message: Do UFO's exist? Well, there are many, many people who claim to have seen UFO's. The correct definition of a UFO is that it is unidentified, it is flying and it is an object. From this basic point it can be concluded that , yes, they do exist. The deeper question is what do they represent? Again, the problem with that is a UFO could be anything. We've all heard about the cover ups and the abductions and the crop circles and the rest but the truth is everybody, depending on their experiences or 'expertise' or whatever will have a different viewpoint. I have been a member of a local UFO organisation for some time now (B.E.A.M.S.) in Bedfordshire and I have found that once someone has a particular belief about UFO's (and I'm sure this is the case with other subjects - take religion for example!) it is very difficult to get them to accept the truth even if the evidence is staring them in the face. Now I hastily add that it is not my job to run anybody's beliefs into the ground and I won't d Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: UFO's Date: Sun Oct 19 11:20:18 1997 Message: Dear Ren Angel: Your quote - "I have been a member of a local UFO organisation for some time now..." I take your statement as further proof that UFOs do in fact exist. I also am a member of various organizations such as, "ANU or Amalgamated Nitwits Union" because I am a Nitwit. Therefore by you being a member of an UFO organization, you must in fact be a UFO yourself. Please send us your picture to be forwarded to the scientific communities for further examination. Author: Ren Angel Subject: UFO's Date: Sun Oct 19 13:41:20 1997 Message: Looks like I didn't read the instructions about length of message. Never mind. Thank you TIC for your reply - perhaps I will post a picture of myself. Ren. Author: Nicole Hollowood Subject: No intelligent life here Date: Sat Oct 18 08:05:16 1997 Message: Yes, I believe there are aliens out there. However I don't believe they visit us on earth. Instead I think they monitor our way of life through televison waves. And once they saw the Jenny McCarthy show they determined there was no intelligent life here worth visiting anyway! Nicole Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: No intelligent life here Date: Sat Oct 18 12:51:51 1997 Message: You might be right about the Aliens monitoring our TV shows, but I don't think they've seen Jenny McCarthy yet. The way I understand it, because of the great distances involved, the nearest star system that probably supports a technologically advanced civilization, is most likely just now receiving TV broadcasts from the 1960's. They are probably rockin and a rollin to the Beatles as they appeared on the old Ed Sullivan Show on American TV. I can imagine their tenticles vibrating to, "I Want To Hold Your Hand" and wondering - Just What The Hell Is A Hand? as they gaze down to the giant suction cup attached to the end of the stump we'd call an arm! Author: Mad Man Subject: Marv Albert is an Alien with a UFO on his head. Date: Thu Oct 16 20:23:12 1997 Message: (There was a nice little animated gif of Marv with his mouth opening and closing, displaying a nasty set of fangs!) Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Marv Albert is an Alien with a UFO on his head. Date: Fri Oct 17 06:17:28 1997 Message: (I retorted with a gif of Marv wearing black garters) Hey Mad Man: You're right about Marv Albert, during your visit this picture fell out of your wallet. Now if this isn't "Alien", what is? BTW...Me thinks you're not a Mad Man in the anger-related sense of the word, demented seems to fit nicer. Well, At least we all know you're a real sports fan, just what sport remains a mystery though! Author: Bennett Yip Subject: We are the Only one? Date: Thu Oct 16 06:24:15 1997 Message: I believe there should be other types of High IQ living thing in this university. I also think that human is created by other kind of human being. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: We are the Only one? Date: Thu Oct 16 06:51:54 1997 Message: Dear Bennett: To your: "I believe there should be other types of High IQ living thing in this university." Yes me too. When I was in college in the early seventies, we were all chemically, reality-challanged. Glad to see the Dr. Timothy Leary mentality is alive and well. And to your: "I also think that human is created by other kind of human being." I agree on this point also. As I understand it we are created by Mothers & Fathers getting funky! Author: Bill Clinton Subject: I believe Date: Wed Oct 15 21:59:17 1997 Message: What else could Hillary be but an alien. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: I believe Date: Thu Oct 16 05:00:24 1997 Message: Geez Mr. President, Bubba Sir. If Hillary truly is an alien, maybe you should have her arrange for Paula Jones's abduction - Sure would make things easier for you right know. BTW - I'll have to pass on the invite to the coffee thingy right now, I'm flat broke! Author: Darth Vader Subject: Simple humans. Date: Wed Oct 15 21:57:06 1997 Message: You will be mine in no time. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Simple humans. Date: Thu Oct 16 05:11:48 1997 Message: May the force (of gravity) be against you. Sorry for the "Luke" warm reception, but the Empire has grown a bit tired of your threats. Suggest you find yourself a new look, the "Grim Reaper" wanna-be thing is dead. Author: Abe Lincoln Subject: This site Date: Wed Oct 15 21:54:07 1997 Message: It sucks! Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: This site Date: Wed Oct 15 22:05:09 1997 Message: Thanks for your wisdom, Mr. President. I'm sure all of us "Suckees" have benefited greatly from your keen insight and eloquent verbal skills. BTW, hope the Prozac works for you. Now off you go, back to your assorted cans of spray paints to color the world with your assorted shades of "Brown" in the middle of the night, whilst everyone is sleeping! Author: Gus Gus Subject: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Date: Wed Oct 15 19:19:59 1997 Message: UFO's do exist. Unidentified Flying Objects are unknown objects that fly around. Aliens don't exist!!!!!!!! HA! Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Date: Wed Oct 15 20:18:18 1997 Message: I think I can somewhat see the point through the vagueness. Per my understanding, if an object is identified as being an un-identified object, then it is no longer un-identified in the true sense of the word! - Right? Author: roz shoshonna Subject: saucers Date: Tue Oct 14 19:57:11 1997 Message: There has been for several millenium exquisite proof that flying saucers exist: The story of the cow jumping over the moon. Now, we know that is nonsense. The cow was shipped to the moon by a flying saucer - I mean - how else would the man in the moon get milk to make green cheese? My husband will verify that every time I get angry he sees flying saucers. In Arizon about twenty years ago we were driving through the desert when suddenly we saw a purple light on the other side of the mountain. We started to drive in that direction when suddenly we heard a deafening hummmmmmmm and something round and all lit up whoooooshed by us - it looked look a circle of opalescent lights......we did make it to the other side of the mountains but all we saw were large footprints with the middle toe about one and a half times longer than the other four......can you imagine Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: saucers Date: Wed Oct 15 13:59:45 1997 Message: "....The story of the cow jumping over the moon. Now, we know that is nonsense. The cow was shipped to the moon by a flying saucer....." Yes the cow was shipped to the moon, "In Pieces". Isn't that "Udderly" disgusting? Just read up on "Cattle Mutilations" and you'll get "Bits & Pieces" of what I'm talking about! Author: roz` Subject: saucers and the milky weigh Date: Wed Oct 15 20:50:36 1997 Message: I think you got the bull by the horns but on the udder hand, I think maybe you really have a handle on it and are a milk spiller. But don't cry over it. As for the moo moo mutilations, I think you are confused. They were alien experimental mootations. Did you know a space ship took Elmer and Elsie Borden to the moo n for their honeymoo n - which was stupid. Cows give milk not honey. Oh, well, its been a long day. roz Author: Dan Kotar Subject: What was it if it wasn't Date: Mon Oct 13 21:34:46 1997 Message: As I sat out on my porch looking up at the stars, I seen a moving light in the sky. No flashing lights like an airplane, and way to high. As I sat looking I began to see others. Still to high to be airplanes, and moving much faster. It would take approxamately 25 to 30 seconds to move across the sky and some would turn and others would be going the opposite direction. Most were moving south to north wile a few would move from the southeast to the northwest. And even fewer moved from the northwest to the southeast. I even tried using a telescope to see what it might be, but they moved to fast. Amasing what you can see at 10:00 at night on a clear night. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: What was it if it wasn't Date: Wed Oct 15 15:38:22 1997 Message: Yes it is amazing what one can see on a clear night with the good part of a litre consumed. It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that I know when I've had enough. I thought I saw the face of God in a bar of soap once, didn't wash for a week and wound up with a nasty case of the rot. As you can see (and smell), I've learned my lesson. Author: DHD Subject: UFO's are my neighbors. Date: Mon Oct 13 19:45:31 1997 Message: I know that aliens exist and that the Illegitimate Comedian is one! I live in the apartment next door to him and hear strange, alien sounds coming from his place in the middle of the night, day...whatever. Oops!...er...excuse me, I just heard one again and I'm embarrased to say that it turns out that what I've been witnessing is the mating process - Strange and disgusting but yet human. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: UFO's are my neighbors. Date: Wed Oct 15 14:09:24 1997 Message: All right Dave, knock it off! Dave really is my next door neighbor who should keep his big mouth shut, and try a stool softener, since we're getting personal! Talk about weird sounds!!! Author: Mickd Subject: Abducted!! Date: Mon Oct 13 16:38:19 1997 Message: I was abducted by 4 foot high, black eyed aliens.....twice. They were very nice to me and asked me did i want a cup of tea, i declined as they had no sugar. So they definately exist, everyone knows that even Stephen Hawkings. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Abducted!! Date: Wed Oct 15 17:03:13 1997 Message: "4 feet, high, black eyed aliens......twice." How scary that must have been for you. Not only wasted little creatures, but fighting to boot! And they had the nerve to come for you a second time still stoned to the gills (Did they have gills?) and still not getting along with each other very well. My heart would go out to you if I had one! Author: Mr Magoo Subject: MIB Date: Mon Oct 13 00:13:54 1997 Message: And you all thought MIB refers to Men in Black. This is a common misconception that I have let go, until now. MIB refers to "MAGOO IN BLACK". I will continue to wander the continents of the world, welcoming new visitors and expelling those that seek to harm the human race. You would be amazed at the number of visitors that Earth receives on a daily bases and others would be frightened. Rest assured that Magoo is on the job and no harm will come to those who believe. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: MIB Date: Wed Oct 15 14:18:31 1997 Message: Magoo: Please, if you're ever abducted, please...please...don't attempt to drive the ship, even if the little fellas say it's all right. We wouldn't want you to go crashing around the "Milky Way" and causing alot of saddness - "...Crying over spilt milk", Don't you know! Author: Nevwyn Subject: Think about it folks! Date: Sat Oct 11 16:54:39 1997 Message: Out of all the billions of celestial bodies, ours is the only one to support life??!! What kind of medieval, religious, supersticious crap is THAT??!! And it's only logical to assume that they've visited us. Besides, I'm pretty certain that I'm from another planet (it would explain alot)! ;) Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Think about it folks! Date: Wed Oct 15 14:22:52 1997 Message: It sure would explain alot and cause reason to celebrate in your family. Are your parents still blaming each other and not talking? Author: Shadow Lord Subject: The truth is here Date: Sat Oct 11 15:42:30 1997 Message: I don't think that UFO's exist. Atleast not the way people describe them. Just imagine, if there is an intellegent alien race that has discovered interstellar space travel why would they come here. Out of all the millions and billions of stars that could have planets orbiting them that could sustain life, why come here. There must be aliens somewhere in the universe, but the fact that they come here in odd shaped objects just to abduct people is very far fetched. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: The truth is here Date: Wed Oct 15 20:46:43 1997 Message: Of course they'd come here, Why Not? After all, in example, millions of so-called intelligent people go to the polls every election to choose their leaders - A futile effort, I might add. So why wouldn't aliens want to come here. Besides, where else could they observe a civilization with such activities as: Bungie-Jumping, Dwarf-Tossing, Cow-Tipping, etc... Must be quite amusing! Author: KID Subject: They're following me! Date: Fri Oct 10 07:13:47 1997 Message: Ok now first my URL mysteriously vanishes from the message board. Then my message for this survey won't post at all. Then I manage to post a message and now you tell me its been "lost"!? Come on! To top it all, only two people have signed my guest book (sob). Do aliens exist? Yes! and they're following ME - its a conspiracy to keep me in isolation! I fully expect an email telling this message has gone! Paranoid? Why do you ask? Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: They're following me! Date: Wed Oct 15 20:55:46 1997 Message: Dear KID: Tried to email you to let you know that your post had again disappeared but couldn't get through. I kept getting it back with the notation - Addressee Unknown. Luckily though, your post was found in an abandoned missle silo in Nebraska USA, along with Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa. Author: The DSTI Conspirator Subject: Re: They're Following me! Date: Fri Oct 10 08:38:05 1997 Message: The aliens are after you alright. The DSTI are after the aliens. Conspiracy theorists are after the DSTI. The general public are after Conspiracy theorists to explain mysteries.... you are a member of the General Public. QED. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Re: They're Following me! Date: Wed Oct 15 20:59:40 1997 Message: This is too heavy for me. I'm satisfied in just believing that the aliens are after us to eat our faces! Author: Lady Kythera Ann Subject: UFO's :) Date: Fri Oct 10 01:55:16 1997 Message: Well Mr Magoo, who does not see very well and is going bald, often cannot identify objects, flying or otherwise...I often can identify them since I hang out with the angelic host...but unfortunately others don't see the angels, sprites, fairies and other flying creatures at all...so I think it must be like a radio...some of our eyes are genetically attuned to see different things than others...floating off...bye:) Author: MIB Subject: Beware MIB Date: Wed Oct 15 19:05:03 1997 Message: Tis only a disguise. Magoo in Black is the accurate description for the MIB not "Men in Black". *rofl* Author: Lady Kythera Ann Subject: Re: Beware MIB Date: Wed Oct 15 20:10:14 1997 Message: MIB! I'll remember that ROFLMAO!!!! HUGS! Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Re: Beware MIB Date: Wed Oct 15 20:26:48 1997 Message: Hey you guys, if you keep it up with the coding, you're going to raise the suspicions of the DSTI Conspirator. He's already been to the deep end and back so let's keep our jargon somewhat coherent, OK? LOL ROFL DO-RE-ME-FA-SO-LA-TI-DO Again - And that makes two bucks! Author: Mr. Blacklist Subject: Do You Believe In UFOs? Date: Fri Oct 10 01:10:08 1997 Message: No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!N o!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No !No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No! No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!N o!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No !No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No! No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!N o!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No !No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No! No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!N o!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No !No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No! No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!N o!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!N Author: Fish Subject: RE: Do you believe in UFO's? Date: Mon Oct 13 07:01:43 1997 Message: So.. what you're saying then, is that you're not certain? Author: Mr. Blacklist Subject: Do you believe in UFO's? Date: Tue Oct 14 20:03:20 1997 Message: I have an open mind. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Do you believe in UFO's? Date: Wed Oct 15 14:36:05 1997 Message: Good news Mr. Blacklist. The aliens have given your website the "Finger Up". It's really a compliment, seeing as though they don't have thumbs! For those of you who don't know, Mr. Blacklist reviews movies on his page. Pay him a visit sometime, fun stuff. Besides, he's a winner of one of my TIC-TOC Awards. Author: Spanky Subject: Aliens Date: Thu Oct 9 16:51:36 1997 Message: Of course Aliens exist, how else do you explain, people who talk on cell phones while they drive, and people who leave their turn signal on for ten miles after they have already turned, the way the coffee filters stick together and you can't get them apart at 6 o'clock in the morning, store clerks that are as bright as a marshmallow, people who use dollar bills to pick their teeth, those subscription cards in magazines that fall in my lap, not to mention the stinky perfume samples that make me gag, doctors that make you wait an hour and see you for 3.2 mins. (while sitting there naked wearing a paper towel), sand in my shoes, woman who don't blend in their blush, Reduce Frequency messages, reading four pages of a book and not remembering what the heck I just read, or how about "This is not a toy" on plastic bags (DUH) and "This is not food" on those little moisture packets, do people actually buy a VCR or television and think it comes with a snack? They are disguising themselves as UPC symbols, Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Aliens Date: Wed Oct 15 21:03:16 1997 Message: Not to mention "Wrinkle Cream"! I mean, doesn't the aging process do a good enough job or what? Author: Fish Subject: Don't ya just love her to pieces? Date: Mon Oct 13 06:53:04 1997 Message: Isn't she adorable? And brilliant too! She's right, about them disguising themselves as UPC symbols. I've been working night and day to decipher them. I've made some break throughs, but there is still much to be learned. So far, I have discovered that skinny bar, skinny bar, skinny bar, fat bar, skinny bar, fat bar, fat bar, skinny bar, fat bar = one of the imprisoned outcasts of their society. It's really a fantastic idea, and I have written my congressman suggesting that we also follow their example, and recycle our overcrowded prison inhabitants into UPC lables, and send them to another planet who's grocery stores are still primitive enough to key prices in by hand (or claw, or whatever) It's a great deal all around, because they would benifit from the new technology, and we wouldn't have the prison problems we have now. And it's completely safe too! Because like their alien counterparts, our prisoners would be safely confined.. behind bars! <*}}>< Author: B. S. Pyle Subject: I DO NOT BELIEVE Date: Thu Oct 9 09:58:03 1997 Message: I do NOT believe in God, UFOs, calories, viruses, George Washington, or anything else I've never seen. http://www.phoenix.net/~gem Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: I DO NOT BELIEVE Date: Wed Oct 15 15:27:35 1997 Message: That's no BS B.S. I've pondered the existence of air and electricity, and came to the conclusion that they were nothing but myths. You see, I've always been a deep thinker, alternating between suffocating and non-enlightening thoughts! Author: B. S. Pyle Subject: I DO NOT BELIEVE Date: Thu Oct 16 05:55:17 1997 Message: You are so wise. And what about all those cleaning products that are making some people filthy rich because they've sold the public on the idea of germs and viruses? -- Non nobis sed toti mundo nati. mailto:[email protected] http://www.phoenix.net/~gem Author: roz shoshonna Subject: UFO's, God, calories, the wind Date: Tue Oct 14 19:59:39 1997 Message: But dahling, that means you don't believe in me. :/ Author: B. S. Pyle Subject: UFOs Date: Wed Oct 15 07:49:26 1997 Message: I've always considered you a lovely illusion. Your ardent admirer, B.S. Pyle -- Non nobis sed toti mundo nati. mailto:[email protected] http://www.phoenix.net/~gem Author: Mad Man Subject: Response: UFO's, God, calories, the wind Date: Tue Oct 14 20:05:36 1997 Message: And just who the hell are YOU? Author: B. S. Pyle Subject: Response to Mad Man Date: Wed Oct 15 16:20:38 1997 Message: I am the world's foremost authority on absolutely everything. Who the hell are you? -- Non nobis sed toti mundo nati. mailto:[email protected] http://www.phoenix.net/~gem Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Response: UFO's, God, calories, the wind Date: Wed Oct 15 15:29:33 1997 Message: Yes, said the Devil to the Sinner! Author: The Illegitimate Comedian Subject: I Believe...Without A Doubt! - I Saw One Last Weekend! Date: Thu Oct 9 07:35:43 1997 Message: There here I tell you. I spent last weekend in New York City and the things I saw on the streets totally defied the definition of human life as I've come to know it. There was this guy (I think?) walking down the street with a snake around his/her/it's neck, and had metal objects protruding from every part of his body I could see (I really don't even care to imagine about the parts I couldn't see!). He/She/It was also walking a dog and a cat on leashes, even they had metal rings through their ears. The best part was that this strange alien parade was all teathered together, with the leashes attached to a ring in each of this whatever's ears and subsequently attached to rings in the dog and cat's ear. Just try and tell me we're not being visited...I Don't Think So! Author: Fish Subject: That's an Unidentified Walking Object! Date: Mon Oct 13 06:36:58 1997 Message: I saw one of those too! In the mall.. except his hair was multicolored, and sticking straight up, about a foot high. I suppose he noticed me watching him, because he walked over to me and asked me "Have you got a problem with me?" to which I replied "No, I don't have a problem with you at all. See, I lost a bet in my younger, wilder days. I ended up having to have sex with a peacock, and I was just trying to figure out whether or not you were my son." <*}}>< Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: That's an Unidentified Walking Object! Date: Wed Oct 15 14:42:57 1997 Message: Sorry about your losing the bet. Feel even sorrier for my girlfriend though. Hell, she didn't even bet on anything! Author: The Cowardly Lion Subject: I Do Believe In Ufos, I DO, I DO, I DO Believe In UFOs... Date: Thu Oct 2 18:22:02 1997 Message: Not only do I believe UFOs are real, they're piloted by Honest Politicians! Author: Irregular Shed Subject: Bill Gates Date: Thu Oct 2 18:14:00 1997 Message: UFOs exist because Bill Gates is an evil alien. So there. Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: Bill Gates Date: Wed Oct 15 21:12:25 1997 Message: Sorry Shed, I think it's MS-DOS exists because Bill Gates wrote it to provide atmospheric "Windows" for UFOs, to enable them to download something alien to the human race - Productive Creativity! Author: green17 Subject: maybe... Date: Thu Oct 2 13:30:05 1997 Message: I thought I saw a UFO once. But it was dandruff. Author: BloodMonger Subject: Global Takeover ! Date: Thu Oct 2 02:57:59 1997 Message: Yes ! I believe in UFOs ! It's extremely unlikely that we're alone in the universe, extremely unlikely. We're not alone out there, what about the Roswell incident ? It's also proven that germs live in Mars. Yes, I believe alien life exists out there, here I stand. BM, one of your many neighbors. Author: Missy Subject: UFOs exist. I've seen your home! Date: Thu Oct 2 01:33:10 1997 Message: Of course UFOs exist. Remember, you flew to my home one night, and we had a late dinner in your UFO while hovering over the ocean. Dessert was delicious! Author: The Editor - TIC Subject: UFOs exist. I've seen your home! Date: Wed Oct 15 14:39:58 1997 Message: I'm so glad you enjoyed desert so much. I wouldn't know as you wouldn't even let me have one swig! Author: Alex Subject: I believe! Date: Thu Oct 2 01:30:02 1997 Message: I DO believe in UFO's...As a matter of fact,I saw one on my summer vacation.I was at home,it was about 3:00 AM...I was listening to music on my walkman because I couldn't sleep thanks to all the heat. All of a sudden,I heard the man on the radio saying that there was a flying thingy up in the sky,next to a BIG mountaine. I emmediately got dressed and went up on the roof.I looked anxiously at the sky,but saw nothing,then...out from nowhere,it came out.I saw it!!! I couldn't believe what my eyes were seing. You might say,"Well he's nuts,it could have been a choper"...Nay..I know what I saw,and besides,it moved REALLy quick and didn't have those little lights the airplanes NEED to be allowed to fly. It went from one side to the other,went around the mountaine,and then came back again...It moved pretty quickly. And then..."SWOOSH..." ,it was gone. I know what I saw that early,early morn,and it WAS,in my heart,a UFO...I really don't care about other people saying that UFO's is a rea ~The End~
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