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Season 1

Copyright � Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation; Irwin Allen Productions, Inc.; Van Bernard Productions, Inc. and Shelter Rock Productions, Inc.   No infringement intended.

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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.

No Place To Hide (Unaired Pilot)

The Reluctant Stowaway

Robot: "At exactly launch plus eight hours: Inertial guidance system -- destroy!  Radio transmitter -- destroy!  Cabin pressure control system --   destroy!"

Doctor Zachary Smith: "You've got your job and I've got mine."

Smith: "I envy you, your adventure."

Doctor Maureen Robinson: "I should say something light and clever, shouldn't I?  I just can't."

Major Donald West: " If you wake-up and find me driving, you'll know you're in trouble."

Robot: "At exactly eight hours -- destroy!"

Will Robinson: "... Major West said that when he went to cadet school, an excuse like yours wouldn't have got him out of Sunday Chapel."

Smith: "...That's the military mind for you.  Kill or be killed!   That's all they understand."

West: "I'm an officer in the United States Space Corps, not a school bus driver."

Robot: " Destroy!  -- destroy!"  
Smith: "Abort!   -- Can you hear me?  Abort!  Abort!"  
Robot: "Destroy!"

West: "We're going into hyper-drive.  We're out of control."

Alpha Control: "...Status of Jupiter 2...It's presumed to be hopelessly lost in space."

The Derelict

Smith (to Robot): "The last time reprogrammed you, you ran wild.   Almost wrecked the     ship with me in it.  But we can't have any more of that, you know.  You will respond to my voice orders only, hereafter, if you want us to stay friends. And you do need a friend, you know.  Just as much as I do."

Robot: "Excellent does not compute."

Judy Robinson: "Funny how easy it was to identify the galaxies back in school.  Use to just sit there and rattle them off."  
West: "Do you want to go home Judy?"  
Judy: "-- I never did like school."

Smith: "I don't tamper, Dr. Robinson.  I create new pathways in cybernetics for our little friend."

Will: "I don't see why Dad wouldn't let me go with them."   
Maureen: "We do need a man here while they're gone Will."

Judy: "Will thinks he's too big to be left out of anything."   
Maureen: "Then he's not too big to learn that he must be disciplined for disobedience."

Smith: "He's not interested in your passenger list.  Ask him something sensible."  
Will: "I can't ask him anything 'til I get him to realize I don't mean him any harm."

Maureen: "We have no business trying to land on that planet.   We're settlers, not explorers.  We have a specific destination to reach."

Island in the Sky

Smith:  "A simple chess game serves to check all circuits."

Smith: "My, you are a many splendored thing.  They even program you with Shakespeare. -- Don't  you ever stop to think.  This is a complex game, one must look before one leaps."   
Robot: "Samuel Butler..."   
Smith: "Sometimes I wonder about you.  If I didn't know better, I'd think some form of morality was accidentally programmed into you."

Smith: "You must learn to take your misfortune like a man.  What are any of us but  expendable pawns in the great cosmic game of chess?"

Smith: "Do you think you're robot enough to crush this helmet." 
Robot: "Affirmative!"  
Smith: "You have my permission to do so.   --   Much as I detest violence, it can be done just is easily with your head inside."

West: "Let's not borrow trouble."

Robot: "I do not vote.  I am not programmed for free choice."  
Smith: "Don't worry about it.  It's vastly over rated."

Smith: " You tin plated fraud.  You worthless electronic scrap heap.  You've got to know how to fly this space ship." 
Robot: "Flight is not a function of environmental control robots."

Robot: "I play chess."  
Smith: "You're a machine.   No one can beat you.  When I play, I like to win."

There Were Giants In The Earth

John: "We must depend on ourselves for survival."

Smith: "I would be doing you a disservice if I offered assistance.   Little setbacks are good for the young.  They build character."

John: "If we're going to survive in this place, we must follow orders."

Smith: "Zachary Smith would rather freeze to death intact than provide a few morsels for some carnivorous giant."

Maureen: "Young people sometimes have ways of doing things, which, to wiser heads ...   may seem a little strange."  
Penny Robinson: "In other words, I should mind my own business?"  
Maureen: " That's right!"

Will: "You women are always getting lost."

The Hungry Sea

Smith: "Where is the orbital data I asked you for?"  
Robot: "Data-processing now complete.  Results: contradictory!"  
Smith: "Contradictory? You're not suppose to come up with contradictory conclusions.   You're a robot.  Where's your pride?"  
Robot: "The function of any computer is to draw conclusions from provided data.  If conclusions are contradictory, provided data is at fault." 
Smith: "Oh!  So now you're trying to put the blame on me, are you?  There's a lot more human in you that I thought, my metallurgical friend. -- There's nothing wrong with my data, but there's a good deal wrong with your conclusions."

Robot: "Identical data will provide identical conclusions."

Smith: "That is precisely what is wrong with our civilization.   Everyone is a specialist."

Smith: "I could get more companionship from cuckoo clock."

Welcome Stranger

Jimmy Hapgood: "Howdy!"

Smith: "Appearances can be deceptive."

Hapgood: "Lost as a wood tick on a bald mountain."

Will: "I bet you were surprised to find us."  
Hapgood: "... I'm not to surprised to find people...."   
Will: "What are you surprised at?"   
Hapgood: "... I'll tell you, finding things   you know can't exist but do."

Hapgood: "One man's meat being another man's poison."

Hapgood: "One of these days I'm going to find something a man can smoke with enjoyment."

Hapgood: "If a man could live forever, he'd really have it made, wouldn't he?"

Hapgood: "I've been more trouble to you folks than an old goat in a paper mill."

My Friend, Mr. Nobody

Invaders From The Fifth Dimension

The Oasis

The Sky is Falling

Wish Upon a Star

The Raft Air

One Of Our Dogs Is Missing

Attack of the Monster Planets

Return From Outer Space

The Keeper

Part I:

Smith: "We have harnessed the muscle of machines; thus giving ourselves more time for intellectual pursuits."
Will: "Dad says 'machines do too much for us.'  He says 'it's good to go out and work.'"
Smith: "... Why walk when it's so much easier to ride?"

Smith (to Professor John Robinson): "A little physical exercise is so good for one."

West: "Vanity, vanity!  Thy name is woman."

Smith: "Beware of strangers bearing gifts."

Smith: "Sometimes violence is a necessity."

Smith (to Will and Penny): "You're both too young to understand.   When I was a child, I too, thought like a child.  But when I became a man, I had to think like a man."
Will: "I don't think it matters what age you are.  If you're dishonest, you're dishonest, and that's all there is to it."

Keeper (to Will and Penny): "There are some things upon which the eye should not look."

West: "I wake in an alien land and I dream of home."

Keeper: "Is this thing you call 'freedom' so precious?"
John: "In our world, since the beginning of time, men and women have fought and died for it."
Keeper: "Foolish, foolish creatures."
West: "Maybe so, but it's what sets up apart from all the others."

Part II:

Smith: "An intelligent conversation with one's self is so much more rewarding than a discussion with a dolt."

Smith: "Who could resist the tears and pleading of two innocent children?  Not even a heart of stone would fail to be moved."

The Sky Pirate

Ghost In Space

War Of The Robots

Robot: "Alert!  Alert!  A moving object attached to line."
Will (to Smith): "He's got a big one."
Smith (to Robot): "Well pull it in you idiot.  Don't just stand there."
Robot: "Weight of the object exceeds the strength of the line.  Restraint should be exercised until there is less resistance."
Smith (to Robot): "Bah!  Give me had pole.  Let an expert show you how that should be done."
Robot: "Caution and patience is advised.  Caution and patience."
Smith (to Robot): "Quiet you bumbling mass of metal.  I'll handle this."
Will: "He's right, Dr. Smith.  If you're not careful the fish will get a way."
Smith (to Will): "Nonsense!  Our finny friend is practically in the frying pan now."
Robot: "A release of line tension is advised."
Will: "Give him some slack, Dr. Smith.  Ease off gradually."
Smith (to Will): "I know what I'm doing.  (to fish) Give up you brute.   You've met your match.  -- Ohhh!"
Robot: "Object fish has eluded capture."
Will (to Smith): "He got away, Sir."
Smith: "Not even the greatest expert could have landed that monster.  He must have weighed a hundred pounds."
Will (to Smith): "All your fish got away."
Smith (to Will): "Are you suggesting that my failure is due to a lack of ability?"
Will (to Smith): "Well, you're the only one that didn't catch anything."
Robot (to Smith): "As you have said, 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating.'"
Smith: "... He did not get away.  I released him."

Robot: "In this instance, failure may be considered success."

Robot: "A robot is a machine which performs as programmed.  A robotoid is a machine which goes beyond programming.  It has a free choice -- good, bad, wrong, right...."

Robot: "Jealousy -- a human emotion.  I am a machine. ...   I am not jealous.  It is a human emotion.  I am not jealous.  It is a human emotion.  I am not jealous.  It is a human emotion."

Smith: "Spare the punishment and spoil the robot."
John: "We're dealing with a machine, not a child."
Will: "The way he's been acting lately, I'm not so sure."

Will: "You shouldn't talk that way in front of him, Dr. Smith.   Even if he is only a robot, he hears you and has a reaction."

Robotoid: "The principal of 'first come, first served,' is an old-fashioned concept."

West: "What's the matter Smith?  Are you too light for heavy work or too heavy for light work?"

Smith: "I detest drawn out departures."

Robot (attempting to gain Will's attention from behind a rock): "Psst! Psst!"

Robot: "... a robot has no heart.  I have only wires and cold metal parts."

Will: "You've got to deactivate the alien robot."
Robot: "That is a task more easily suggested than accomplished."

Robot: "I am only the end result of those who programmed me."
John: "... You're more than a machine."
Will: "You're our friend."
Robot: "My computers are deeply affected."

Robot: "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing well."

The Magic Mirror

The Challenge

The Space Trader

His Majesty Smith

The Space Croppers

All That Glitters

The Lost Civilization

A Change Of Space

Follow The Leader