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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.
Quotes from Unidentified Episodes
Rembrandt: "You fish?"
Arturo: "I'm English. We invented fishing."
Arturo-ism
"... you blistering idiot!"
SEASON ONE
The Premiere
Professor Maximillian P. Arturo: "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I think
I've just seen God, and I could have sworn He was driving a Cadillac."
Arturo: "God help us."
Quinn Mallory: "One missing piece, you think after 3 months I'd be
able to crack it."
Wade Kathleen Welles: "If I found a place that was paradise, I don't
think I'd tell anybody."
Fever
Rembrandt Lee 'Crying Man' Brown: "Who do you suppose they're
going to eat first?"
Arturo: "I suppose the young are more tender."
Quinn: "Age before beauty. It's a universal tenet."
Rembrandt (to Arturo): "Don't look at me. I'm just a Chicken McNugget. You're the
Quarter Pounder!"
Rembrandt: Oh great, we get 20 minutes in wealthy land, we stuck 2 days
here in phycho-ville.
Arturo: "Biology is what you do if you don't have the maths for real
science"
Last Days
Arturo: "... take note -- the first casualty of sliding is
dignity."
Prince of Wails
Arturo: "Do you know why the sun will never set
on the British Empire? Because God doesn't trust the British in the dark!"
Quinn: "I can't believe people in the 20th century would actually
allow themselves to be governed by a monarchy."
Arturo: "... they are undoubtedly waiting for a precocious college kid from another
world to teach them the error of their ways."
Summer of Love
Rembrandt: "I'll be damned. You guys are rich!"
Seeker: "Well, we may be into Mother Earth and spiritual values, but we're not
stupid."
Landlady: "This fight ain't just with the Aussies. If
South Australia falls, it's just a hop, skip and a jump to our shores."
Quinn: "Well, we cant have that! Boomerangs and kangaroos everywhere.
What a nightmare!"
Eggheads
Wade (to Rembrandt): "You bet on a game that you don't understand?
You're an idiot!"
The Weaker Sex
Rembrandt: "I'm getting awfully tired of landing on my butt. Can't
you do something about that?"
Quinn: "You know I can't. I think you ask just to annoy me a little."
Rembrandt: "Actually, I ask to annoy you a lot."
"Men have too much testosterone. Look at women -- they only cycle
once a month. Men cycle every twenty minutes. As many mood swings as I go through in an
afternoon, I wouldn't want to be in charge of anything."
The King Is Back
The Luck of the Draw
SEASON TWO
Into The Mystic
Arturo: "Given the fraudulent nature of this man's claims, I suggest
a response that harkens back to our childhoods: Run! Run like hell!"
Love Gods
Rembrandt (in drag): "My legs are freezing!"
Wade: "I told you to wear the pantyhose."
Rembrandt: "I can honestly say that I never thought anyone would say those words to
me."
Gillian of the Spirits
Arturo (attempting to repair the timer): "How am I expected to work
like this?! I'm a theoretical physicist. I work with universes, not piddling little stuff
like this!"
The Good, The Bad And The Wealthy
Rembrandt: "Are you all right?"
Quinn (hung over): "Nothing a bullet between the eyes wouldn't cure."
Arturo: "Be careful what you wish for."
El Sid
Time Again And World
Rembrandt: "Damn! A whole nation of squares! This reminds me of a
solo gig I played in Florida once. The average age was deceased."
In Dino Veritas
Wade: "A few weeks ago, we were on that world without clothes,
remember?"
Arturo: "How could I forget? Not exactly my finest hour, was it? Then, none of us
exactly covered ourselves in glory, did we? Or anything else, for that matter. Yes, we
have certainly seen the best and the worst of each other."
Post Traumatic Slide Syndrome
Rembrandt: "I guess randomly traveling through an interdimensional
vortex has a way of making you appreciate what's important in life."
Obsession
Greatfellas
Quinn: "In a lot of ways, black jack not so dissimilar from advanced
number theory."
Wade: "Fear of litigation. That's what happens when 84% of the
population attends law school."
Quinn: "85% too many if you ask me."
The Young And The Relentless
Tiffany August: "I guess when you're up to your ass in alligators,
you tend to forget that your job is to drain the swamp."
As Times Go By
Arturo: "Madam, I'm professor of cosmology and ontology at the
University of . . ."
Miss Sanchez: "Excuse me, Mr. ... Arturo, but you were looking for work as a day
laborer, okay?"
Invasion
Rembrandt: "Ah, I tell you, I just love the French women. You never
know what they're thinking. Of course I could say the same thing about Asian women or
Latin women..."
Wade: "Maybe it's a good thing you don't know what women are thinking."
SEASON THREE
Rules Of The Game
Wade: "I've got this thing about flying."
Quinn: "Sliding between parallel worlds doesn't bother you, but flying does?"
Wade: "You have no idea how much."
Quinn: "This ranks very high on the weird meter."
Rembrandt (to Arturo): "For somebody with so much education, there are
moments when you aren't very smart at all."
Double Cross
Arturo (to Wade): "No need to sound so surprised. I may not be your
idea of a shower fantasy, but I do have my admirers."
Electric Twister Acid Test
Wade (re: The Wizard of Oz): "Flying monkeys, poison
poppies, tornadoes, witches -- great family fun. I couldn't sleep for a week."
Rembrandt: "I've never been banished before; except for that time in
Abilene. Cowboys just didn't get Motown."
The Guardian
Biker: "Those words, all those syllables. It's like ... it's like being back at
school!"
Arturo: "Well, at least that implies that you did go to school. This is good."
Biker: "Hey! I'm talking to her!"
Arturo: "But you're looking at me. Are you confused?"
The Dream Masters
Desert Storm
Dragon Slide
Quinn: "I know it's all scientific heresy, but I'm starting to think
Shakespeare knew what he was talking about. Maybe some things just can't be
explained."
Arturo: "That is heresy."
The Fire Within
The Prince Of Slides
Rembrandt: "I'm pregnant?! I'm not even married!"
Arturo: "He's not thinking clearly."
Wade: "Well, I guess pregnancy does that to a man."
Duke Rembrandt: "What the devil is going on?"
Quinn: "I got kicked in the stomach."
Wade: "Are you okay?"
Quinn: "Yeah, but it's a good thing I'm not six inches taller."
Arturo: "I'm a theoretical mathematician, not a butcher!"
Dead Man Sliding
Arturo: "This mob is only interested in entertainment, they don't give a damn
about the truth."
Quinn: "They couldn't handle the truth."
Arturo: "Then we'll make the truth entertaining Mr. Mallory."
State of the A.R.T.
Wade: "... I'm sorry I came down on you like I did. It's just sometimes you say
things that just really push my buttons...."
Arturo: "... the four of us have become like an extended family, and like all
families I'm afraid we all know how to press each other's buttons."
Arturo: "Just a minute young lady. You and I are not machines, and he by
definition is not human. Now I don't care how creative he is, whether he can compose a
symphony or write a sonnet. He cannot experience the joy of creativity nor can he
experience the the pain of failure. Now what's the difference between us and them? It's
the ability to tell the difference between right and wrong, it's our capacity for moral
growth, it's our capacity for love, truthfulness, charity and an ability to put up with
friends when they drive us to the point of distraction. When I see those characteristics
in him then I'll reconsider the question. Till then he's just a damn walking
calculator."
Seasons Greedings
Murder Most Foul
Rembrandt: "You don't even have a plan...."
Quinn: "We have a plan. We just don't know what it is yet."
Slide Like an Egyptian
Deera: "Oh, that was insane! We could have died!"
Quinn: "Been there, done that. Let's go."
Paradise Lost
Quinn (re: creature): "It could be some kind of freak
nemertean."
Rembrandt: "Is that Latin for big freaking worm?'"
Quinn: "Something like that."
The Exodus
Quinn: "Sliding means improvising."
Wade (eulogizing Arturo): "I don't believe in goodbyes, not really. I
can't believe that everything we are, and everything we've done just disappears. I think
our spirit -- it's like a river -- it goes somewhere. And I know in my heart, I'll see you
again."
Quinn (eulogizing Arturo): "I never would have been the student I was
without your guidance and love. You taught me there are no limits to the imagination. You
were a true adventurer. Now you're the greatest adventurer of all time."
Sole Survivors
Quinn (after attack by zombie): "That guy bit me!"
Rembrandt: "Talk about your bad neighborhoods!"
Rembrandt: "It takes more than military mind set to survive sliding."
The Breeder
The Last of Eden
Quinn: "Looks like we're outnumbered."
Wade: "Looks like we're going to be the next meal."
The Other Slide of Darkness
Slither
Dinoslide
Maggie Beckett: "We just saw dinosaurs, and you're rattling on as if
nothing happened."
Quinn: "Been there, done that. And we got the T-shirt. You should've been with us the
first time we ran into dinos."
Rembrandt: "There's not a lot you don't see if you slide long enough."
Stoker
Maggie (re: Rickman): "You know, you'd think someone who sucks brain
to stay alive would stand out in a crowd."
This Slide of Paradise
SEASON FOUR
Genesis
Prophets and Loss
Maggie: "I would never surrender my will to some self-righteous guy
who says he's got the answers to everything."
Quinn: "Does that mean we have no future together?"
Common Ground
Virtual Slide
Maggie: "So what's our next move?"
Rembrandt: "Same as always: getting the timer back."
World Killer
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
Just Say Yes
The Alternateville Horror
Maggie: "And I could hear things -- like little animals, with little
claws and little beady yellow eyes scurrying at my feet."
Rembrandt: "Easy girl. I thought you were a Marine."
Maggie: "I don't like rats."
Slidecage
Quinn: "Why does everybody always expect me to have all the
answers?"
Colin Mallory: "Because you usually do."
Asylum
Colin: "What if this is one of those strange worlds?"
Maggie: "Colin, every world is a strange world."
Dr. Venable: "You better get dressed."
Rembrandt: "Why do women always tell me that?"
California Reich
The Dying Fields
Colin (hitting Rembrandt when exiting the vortex): "Sorry. I didn't
see you."
Rembrandt: "That's because you weren't looking where you were going. I told you,
you've got to open your eyes when you're sliding through the vortex."
Colin: "Look, I've been a horse and buggy man most of my life. Warp speed is a new
concept for me."
Rembrandt: "Yeah, well you'll get hip to it. I just hope I survive your learning
curve."
Lipschitz Live
Quinn: "I've met the female version of myself."
Barry Lipschitz: "Did you have sex with her?"
Mother And Child
Net Worth
Slide By Wire
Data World
Maggie: "Quinn, you're supposed to finish your beer before you start
hallucinating."
Way Out West
My Brother's Keeper
The Chasm
Roads Taken
Revelations
