I suggested a topic for a forum one day, ranting about the horrendous spelling and grammar on the Internet. Little did I know the posse would be after me in minutes. You can read the interchange here (edited to protect the innocent and perpetrators, where applicable).

English is a language I learned early, but not as my native language. The kids in school laughed at my accent (which thankfully didn't turn out to be incurable) and haphazard grammatical butchery. Miss Post, a teaching wonder, put me straight about things like subjunctive and pluperfect, which I seriously doubt anyone remembered  two days past the final exam..

Then came Joe Wing, who convinced me immediately that I was not only illiterate, but plain stupid. He was my AP editor when I was 21, getting by-lines on a thrice-weekly column on teenagers. Mr. Wing's pet peeves were women and young people. Being both, I learned as fast as my IBM Selectric with correction tape would let me. (That tells you how long ago it was.)

Back in the US after living in Canada, the West Indies, and Norway, I was still in marketing, where grammar and spelling still equated to getting the rent paid and the kids fed, a paramount consideration. My craft made a transition into desk-top publishing, then into presentation graphics. Can't get away with much there, when the words get to be taller than I am in spike heels. Oh, the chagrin when 500 sets of eyes are riveted on the screen, and there's the typo no one caught, usually in neon color or at least animated.

 I've won some great bets on grammar/spelling issues, including a $100 unabridged dictionary. (I've lost bets as well, but prefer not to mention it in front of Carl or Walt because they always get black and blue slapping their thighs.)

So these are my credentials. Do they make me an expert?. I just don't want to get laughed at. Worse, I need to create those 30-foot screens to feed my computer habit. My major client is VP of Big Stuff at GlobalBigBucks, Inc., owner of at least one doctorate. Even with both of us reading his stuff in at least eight iterations for over a decade, we still catch glaring errors months later. As he says, "Nothing's easy."  English certainly isn't.

If this site can help one person with one English mystery, it would be great.

Hey, if there are any goofs herein, I'll buy -- and thanks for pointing them out.  I'll even put your corrections on these pages, with credits. Until then, please e-mail me your comments and suggestions. I'm also very interested if you agree with some of the people in the forum that proper spelling and grammar aren't important. Convince me by e-mail, if you can. I'll try to keep an open mind, but remember that I'm a woman, OK?