THE FACTS OF LIFE
Nobody will ever win the
battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
There's a fine line
between fishing and
standing on the shore like an idiot.
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Don't worry about the
world ending today...
It's already tomorrow in Australia.
(unless you’re in Australia -then start worrying)
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Character is what you
are.
Reputation is what people think you are.
Drive carefully
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
A loser is a window
washer on the 44th floor who
steps back to admire his work..
A man usually feels better after a few winks,
especially if she winks back.
Friends may come and
go, but enemies accumulate.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
There is always one
more imbecile than you counted on.
If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving.
A man who says marriage
is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two
things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.