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Well, every week here I will have 2 new jokes and you can try and see if you laugh.

Also, please test and vote for which joke is better.

Ok, I bet you are probably wanting me to cut the talk and get on with it. Here they are.

Joke 1: VOTE THIS AS THE BETTER JOKE

A man walks into a shop to buy cat food:

Shopkeeper:Unless I can feel that cat, I will not sell you the catfood. PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELVE

The next day, he wants to buy a bottle for his baby:

Shopkeeper: Unless I can see the baby, I will not sell you the bottle PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELVE

The next day, he walks into the shop carrying a paper bag:

Man: Put your hand in this.

Shopkeeper: (After putting her hand in the bag) OH MY GOD IT'S SHIT!

Man: You got that right baby! Now sell me 4 roles of toilet paper!

Joke 2: VOTE THIS AS THE BETTER JOKE

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.