The Hit-Man
One day a guy was standing on the first tee of his local golf course, when another man walked up and said, "The pro said I could join you, if you don't mind." The guy said, "Sure, just put your clubs on the cart". So he placed his clubs on the back of the cart and put a briefcase on the seat. Noticing the briefcase, the guy said, "What you got in the briefcase, extra balls?"The man said, "I'm on my way to my next job. I carry my tools in my briefcase."
The guy said, "Okay. What kind of work do you do?"
"I'm a hit man for the mob," answered the man.
"You're kidding," the guy said.
"No," said the hit man, "Here, I'll show you." He proceeds to open his briefcase and inside is a fold-down rifle with a huge scope.
The guy said, "Wow. I'm impressed."
The hitman said, "I buy the best equipment I can get."
The guy said, "I'll bet with that scope, you could see my house way over that way."
The hit man picked up the scope and looked in the direction shown and said, "Brick house...your red Toyota is in the driveway."
The guy said, "That's my wife's car. Yep. That's my house, all right.
The hit man said, "Then your name must be Bob."
The guy answered, "How do you figure that?"
The hit man said, "There's a Ford pick-up by the Toyota that has BOB on the license plate."
The guy answered, "That's my buddy Bob. What's he doing there?"
The hit man said, "I can tell you exactly what he's doing there.
I can see them both taking off their clothes, right now."
The guy said, "Kill them both".
The hit man answered, "Listen fella.
I do this for a living, not for fun.
Every time I pull that trigger, it's $5,000."
The guy said, "Do it anyway."
So the hit man snapped his rifle together, put it up to his shoulder, started to sight it in and asked, "Where do you want me to shoot them?"
The guy said, "Shoot her right in the head.
And shoot him right in the nuts".
The hit man focused for a second and said, "This must be your lucky day.
I'm about to save you $5,000."
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