A proper young lady had to learn rules of etiquette that almost had the force of morality in Victorian life - from how to walk down the street, or eat fruit genteely (first peeling it with a silver knife and cutting it in bite-size morsels), to how to behave in every social situation.
 

A lady, when crossing the street, must raise her dress a bit above the ankle while holding the folds of her gown together in her right hand and drawing them toward the right. It was considered vulgar to raise the dress with both hands as it would show too much ankle, but was tolerated for a moment when the mud is very deep. As told by The Lady's Guide to Perfect Gentility.

A young lady was expected to shine in the art of conversation, but not too brightly. Etiquette books of the era concentrate on the voice, rather than the content of speech, encouraging her to cultivate that distinct but subdued tone.

When introduced to a man, a lady never offered her hand, merely bowed politely and said, "I am happy to make your acquaintance."

While courting, a gentleman caller might bring only certain gifts such as flowers, candy or a book. A woman could not offer a gentleman any present at all until he had extended one to her, and then something artistic, handmade and inexpensive was permissible.

Young people should not expect friends to bestow wedding gifts. It is a custom that sometimes bears heavily on those with little to spend. Gifts should only be given by those with ties of relationship, or those who wish to extend a warm sentiment of affection. In fact, by 1873 the words No presents received are engraved upon the cards of invitations.

A gentleman may delicately kiss a lady's hand, the forehead, or at most, the cheek.

If you are conversing with people who know less than you, do not lead the conversation where they cannot follow.

A lady should never join in any rude plays that will subject her to be kissed or handled in any way by gentlemen. ie: If a hand reaches out to admire a breast pin, draw back and take it off for inspection.

Etiquette

The word etiquette in the English language is derived from the old French verb estiquer, to attach, it first became l'estiquette, describing the list of rules attached to a post in courtyards of castles and palaces. L'estiquette could be torn down and changed daily if necessary. Etiquette is just as alterable - a rule today, perhaps outdated tomorrow. Therefore, yesterday's rules could become today's bad manners.

Unless one understands why a rule of etiquette began, it may be difficult to judge when the time has come to set it aside. As with many manners that originally begin for a good reason, may fade out because the reason is forgotten or no longer has a need to exist.

However, some rules of etiquette remain constant and unchanging, the tried and true - those that separate the couth from the uncouth - threading back to unsuspected origins.

Keep in mind that good manners are universal, and those that are based on a moral permise pervails in polite behavior today.

Points of Etiquette

Here are just a few points of etiquette that have been around before or during the Victorian era that would still be valuable in todays society.
 

• Invitations should be sent at least seven to ten days before the day fixed for an event, and should be replied to within a week of their receipt, accepting or declining with regrets. 

 
• Never lend a borrowed book. Be particular to return one that has been loaned to you, and accompany it with a note of thanks. 

 
• Rise to one's feet as respect for an older person or dignitary. 

 
• What can I say? A true gentleman tips their hat to greet a lady, opens doors, and always walks on the outside. 

 
• Break bread or roll into morsels rather than eating the bread whole. 

 
• Conversation is not to talk continually, but to listen and speak in our turn. 

 
• Do not monopolize conversation or interrupt another speaker to finish his story for him. 

 
• And as for the Gentlemen, they should be seen and not smelled. They should use but very little perfume, as too much of it is in bad taste.