11.22.98
My mind is in a bit of confusion tonight. So much I need to let out yet don't know how to say it. So many things I will have left unsaid and unheard if I don't find a way to let my deepest feelings out. I feel my life is at a standstill but yet just inches away from the top of the hill. One decision my heart needs to make in order for me to reach the top of that hill, but it just won't do it. It's holding me back. I can feel it weighing me down. No matter what the outcome is, once everything is out in the open I know it will be a breeze. Maybe I am afraid of another heartbreak? Could that be the reason for locking it all in? May be ... I don't know. I just know that all the things I'm feeling, thinking, and dreaming about are ready to explode. I don't know if that will be a good thing or not, but it's going to happen soon. I just can't hold back any longer. Whether it's for the good or bad, that will be the only way to go forward. I'm on such a wild emotional ride these days, it's unreal. Does it ever stop? At least for one day ... that's all I need. One day of absolutely nothing. Just ONE.