Yo Mama Jokes
Yo' Mama's Like.....
yo mamas like a television, even a 2 year old could turn her on!
yo mamma's like a video game, three men for a quarter
yo mamma's like pizza pizza, thirty minutes or its free!
yo mamma's like lettuce, 25 cents per head
yo' mama's like a racecar, she burns fifty rubbers a day
yo mamma's like like a doornob, everyone tries to screw her!
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Yo' Mama's So Fat.....
whenever she goes swimming in the ocean, baby whales can be seen nursing on her breasts
when she wears high heels, she strikes oil!
she uses a mattress for a Kotex
she makes King Kong look like a baby chimp
even Arsenio couldn't kiss all her butt
she uses a roll of Bounty and a rope for a tampon
she showers at a car wash
when your father mounts her, his ears pop
she's on both sides of the family!
her picture wieghs 10 pounds!
her diaphragms come in a Domino's pizza box
when she goes to the beach, she's the only one who gets a tan
she uses a hula hoop as a pinkie ring
if she bent over, they could show two movies on her butt
when she dances the band skips
I could go bungie jumping with the elastic from her underwear
when she wears a red dress, everyone yells, "Hey Kool-Aid!"
her clothes have stretch marks
her nickname is "eclipse"!
she got her own atmosphere
when she sites around the house, she REALLY sits around the house
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Yo' Mama's so Ugly.........
yo' father put the bathroom mirror inside the medicine cabinet
her pillows cry at night
her own shadow is afraid of her
even her Rice Krispies won't talk to her
she could be a poster child for the burn center
when she was a child, her parents sent her to the movies-then moved!
when she was a child, she had to "trick or treat" over the telephone
she could make k.d. lang go straight
she's a living example of why some animals eat their young
she's a living example of why you shouldn't do IT with family
farmers pay top dollar for her to stand in the fields and scare the crows away
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Yo' Mama's so Short.........
she looks up to EVERYONE
she does IT with your sister's Ken doll
she could bungee jump off my shoelaces
she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a curb
she goes swimming in a bottle cap
she scuba dives in the fish bowl
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime
she takes an elevator to get up to bed
she could handglide on a dorito chip
you can see her feet on her driver licence picture.
she could ride on the back of a roach, and her legs would still dangle
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Yo' Mama's so Poor........
she can't afford to pay attention.
I took a peanut and she said don't be so greedy.
she has fries on layway at McDonalds.
I stepped in her front door and came out through the back.
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Yo' Mama's so Stupid........
she goes to the library to get a book of matches
she thinks Boyz to Men is a Day care center
she thinks Chevy Chase is a funny car race
she brings toilet paper to a crap game
she sold her car for gas money
she got hit by a parked car!
she thinks a quarter back, was a refund!
she cooks with Old Spice
when you told her it was chilli outside she went and got a bowl
she brought a rabbit to a hair salon
she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet
she took a spoon to the superbowl
she water's fake plants.
she thinks a pawn shop is a chess players' club
she thinks tofu is a guy with a foot fetish
she went to a mind reader and was only charged half price
she thinks lobotomy is a new dance craze
when she went to a movie and it said, "under 17 not admitted,"she went home to find 16 relatives!
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Yo' Mama's so Old........
she remembers the Alamo
she knew Ronald McDonald when he was in clown school
scientists claim she's the missing link
she lived at the Gettysburg address
her birthday expired
she has an autographed copy of the bible
when I told her to act her age, she dropped dead
she remembers turning tricks for a nickel
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she swam in the Dead Sea when it was still alive.