Parenting

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script> (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-47423994-1', 'fortunecity.ws'); ga('send', 'pageview'); </script> <center> <br> <div> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </div> </center> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=190 BGCOLOR="#99CC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="03c8dfc3.jpg"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="45696c80.jpg" border=0 width="150" height="200" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>Isn't Daniel beautiful?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="47996710.jpg" border=0 width="150" height="113" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>And let's not forget Anna, there never was a prettier girl!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="29b60600.gif" border=0 width="96" height="96" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>contact us at</B></div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:mamaselena@charter.net" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:mamaselena@charter.net"><U><B>mamaselena@charter.net</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="1d46c6c0.jpg" border=0 width="108" height="108" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="03d8dfe1esnpes.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#336666" FACE="Arial" ><B>Mama Selena's Herbals</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mama Selenas Herbals"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order!"><U>Order!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="All Natural Soaps"><U>All Natural Soaps</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dye Sew!"><U>Dye & Sew!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Herbals"><U>Herbals</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Herbal Pillows"><U>Herbal Pillows</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Baby Sling Carriers"><U>Baby Sling Carriers</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="barter list"><U>barter list</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Family Journal"><U>Family Journal</U></A>   |   <B>Parenting</B>   |   <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Guest Book!"><U>Guest Book!</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=380 colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="03d8dfc3.jpg"> <div> <I>Parenting</I></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <I>Before you were conceived I wanted you</I></div> <div> <I>Before you were born I loved you</I></div> <div> <I>Before you were here an hour I would die for you</I></div> <div> <I>This is the miracle of life.</I></div> <div> ~ Maureen Hawkins </div> <bR> <div> Are you reading <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#BF0000" FACE="Arial" ><I>On Becoming Babywise</I></FONT>???  Followers or people interested in the teachings of Pastor Gary Ezzo should read this link penned in an American Academy of Pediatrics released article before they begin or before it's too late!</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="http://www.userhome.com/redrhino/AAP/aneyaap.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.userhome.com/redrhino/AAP/ane"><U>http://www.userhome.com/redrhino/AAP/aneyaap.html</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Unsolicited Advice and Some funny parenting stuff:)</B></div> <bR> <div> Boy oh boy are there some updates to be made here!  We are now a family of four!  Our beautiful baby girl has joined the family!  So many things change when you have another child.  Makes things a little more complicated but so much more rich!  You really do grow another heart with a new child!  </div> <bR> <div> I have decided to take it upon myself to throw out a little information that helped me tremendously when Dan was tiny and that continues to help me as he grows and even more as we added Anna to the mix.</div> <bR> <div> Some of it you may not agree with, some you may not like or agree with-but please, take what helps and leave the rest.  I would like to help you learn new things and make sure all those beautiful babies out there are healthy and happy!</div> <bR> <div> Eat well and sleep whenever you can!  The housework will wait-TRUST ME...:)  YOU need good nutrition (especially if you are nursing, but a good point even if you are not) and lots of sleep to chase after those little ones.  Nap with them if you can.  Grumpy, tired and hungry Mommies are no fun to be around...</div> <bR> <div> Pick up your baby when he cries.  Love him and cuddle him and make sure he knows he is loved-they are little for such a short time-wouldn't you rather hold them now so that you have those memories when they are rebellious teenagers?  </div> <bR> <div> Don't let your little one cry it out.... Why choose to tell your child that you are unavailable to him?  Why did you have a child if you did not want to make sure his needs were met?  They are young only a very short time.  Meet their needs, soon enough they will sleep through the night on their own:)  Or better yet, bring em to bed with you!  Then nursing is easy, baby is snuggled all warm against you and everyone gets a good nice sleep-just be sure not to have any fluffy pillows or bedding near the baby-practice safe co-sleeping!!</div> <bR> <div> <I>There is no rhyme nor reason, no booklet or pamphlet that comes with your baby.  Every child is different  Parent to their needs and to yours.  Not because someone tells you it is the "right" or "normal" way.  Not because of something you see on TV or read in a book.  Parent the way your instincts tell you.</I></div> <bR> <div> <B>Use a sling!   You don't have to buy one from me (but I would be very happy if you did!!) :) </B> <B>Would you like to make your own sling?  Here are some general instructions:)</B></div> <bR> <div> Get 2- 2 1/4 yards for petite/slender under 5'2" </div> <div> 2 1/2- 2 2/3 for "average" to round and tall and Mama Selena sized</div> <div> 2 2/3 to 3 yards for larger plus sized women (over 250 or 6 foot tall)</div> <div>   </div> <div> Hem the top, bottom and side edges and find some heavy duty steel rings (internal diameter at least 2 inches, 2 1/2 would be better, if you can find them, mine are 2) at the hardware or horse tack shop(or online from any number of places, (try here: <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#330099" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.nestmom.com/slingrings.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.nestmom.com/slingrings.html"><U>http://www.nestmom.com/slingrings.html</U></A></FONT>)  DO <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#CC0000" FACE="Arial" >NOT</FONT> use macramé rings, this sling will hold your baby for a couple of years and you want to make sure you have the best that's out there, really, they are not that expensive and you NEED something sturdy-this if for your baby's safety, buy the best!.</div> <bR> <div> Hem the top, bottom and side edges first.  Fold the top corners into the middle of the fabric until it is about 4 inches wide, slide the rings through and sew that puppy down REALLY well.  Sew something like a big "X" mark and sew over it a few times.  </div> <bR> <div> Voila-you're done!   Or, there are many places in catalogs, resale children's shoppes and on the internet where you can get great slings-just don't buy a sling at a department store-you probably will hate it-I did, I bought 3 before I decided to make one:)</div> <bR> <div> <I>HINT! </I></div> <div> <I>If you would like to make your own patchy one, make sure to LINE IT with a solid fabric (muslin works great and is cheap!) so that the seams are not supporting your baby's weight-you need a solid foundation to support your child :) Also, larger diameter rings might adjust more smoothly for a padded or lined sling, try </I><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#0000CC" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.elizabethlee.com/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.elizabethlee.com"><U><I>http://www.elizabethlee.com</I></U></A></FONT><I> for larger rings. (Much more expensive than nest mom's site but they have nylon up to 2 3/4 inner and also metal up to 2 1/2 inner diameter.  She also has a pattern for a padded sling if you would like to try that out, some mother's prefer padding, not me, lol! )</I></div> <bR> <div> For pre sewn padded slings, go here-this is my friend Jenn, she is the coolest friend, fellow Mommy and the ORIGINAL "pocket full o' sling" maker ;)  Many have tried to copy but none come close ;)</div> <div> <A HREF="http://webpages.charter.net/cherrydoody/slingsbyjenn/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://webpages.charter.net/cherrydoody/"><U>http://webpages.charter.net/cherrydoody/slingsbyjenn/</U></A></div> <bR> <div> For a neat alternative, go here (however, I have not met this person, nor used her sling, so the recommendation is just as something I find intriguing!  Her slings are based on the German Didymos and are very versatile in adjustment!  I am thinking about sending her some of my hand dyed fabric to have her make me one to try out!  I love slings ;)  </div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.mamaroobabysling.com/index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.mamaroobabysling.com/index.ht"><U>http://www.mamaroobabysling.com/index.htm</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Breastfeed?  Bottle feed?</B></div> <bR> <div> Please breastfeed.  It is on of the most rewarding and beautiful thing you can do for your child and for YOU!   If you don't - please hold your baby when you feed him or her.  Don't prop the bottle-that is missing out on such a lovely way to connect with your child (not to mention dangerous for your baby!).   </div> <bR> <div> If you need help find a lactation consultant (please see one in the hospital before you leave with your new baby!) or a local chapter of <I><B>La Leche League</B></I> (they have a web site but are slower to respond to emails-<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#330099" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebIndex.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebIndex.ht"><U>get in touch with a LOCAL group</U></A></FONT>).  They are a wonderful resource, but can be a bit conservative, depending on your area:)  <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#BF0000" FACE="Arial" ><I><B>Breastfeeding should NOT HURT!</B></I></FONT>  The most important thing that will get you through those first difficult weeks is support and determination (AND proper positioning! Make sure the baby takes as much of the areola -dark portion of nipple- as possible in his/her mouth-NOT just the tip of the nipple!)  </div> <bR> <div> <I>"</I>People need to understand that when they're deciding between breast milk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi...They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available<I>."</I></div> <div> - lactation consultant Chele Marmet. </div> <bR> <div> And remember-the American Academy or Pediatrics recommends <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#330099" FACE="Arial" >1 year and as long thereafter as mutually beneficial</FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#BF00BF" FACE="Arial" >. </FONT> Canada and Britain recommend a minimum of 2 years...  The world average is 4 years.  </div> <bR> <div> There is no reason to quit nursing unless it has become a problem for you or your child.  Many children self wean around 2 and 1/2...  Some younger, some nurse much longer.  </div> <bR> <div> My son is currently 16 months and still nursing frequently all day and thru the night.  Though I know many mamas online who nurse young babies of 3 months or less who sleep through the night.  (Update-Daniel is 20 months now-no longer nursing at night, just at bedtime, nap and wake up "Hi, Mommy" feedings.  Update 2/03!  Daniel is no longer nursing at all:( It was an up and down ride.  Nursed during pregnancy, a little with both, and ended up weaning.  Was a hard item for us both.  However, it will be an experience I can share with other moms of how you don't have to wean and how weaning is not always the best choice.  He is now 2 and a half.</div> <bR> <div> Questions about nursing through pregnancy or nursing 2 (or more)? Go to <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://lalecheleague.org/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://lalecheleague.org"><U>http://lalecheleague.org</U></A></FONT> or here for some anecdotal tips from lots of mommies!</div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/tandem_ca/faq.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.geocities.com/tandem_ca/faq.h"><U>http://www.geocities.com/tandem_ca/faq.htm</U></A></div> <bR> <div> Here's some little anecdotes and quotes about breastfeeding from some Mama's I have met along the road:)  All have been used with permission ~ except for unknown authors, for obvious reasons :)</div> <bR> <div> <I>I just got that today, Hannah laid herself back in the sling while I was checking out of a store in the Mall and the sales person said, "oh she is old enough to wean if she is asking for it."  So I just replied, "well next time you go to the refrigerator to get food, maybe someone should stop you!" LOL </I></div> <div> ~ Milkgoddess from the Mothering Magazine Online Bulletin Boards</div> <bR> <div> <I>I mentioned awhile ago about feeding the babe at the walmart mcdonald's; kicking up my heels (figuratively) with the magazine someone left at my table- 'Handgun & Ammo' (or something of that ilk.) is that the nursing mom you wanna harass, lol? (I practised my glare occasionally looking up from it. It was quite the confidence builder!) </I></div> <div> ~ suse from the Mothering Magazine Online Bulletin Boards</div> <bR> <div> <I>Nursing is not only the best choice, it is the natural choice.  Nourish a child, mind body & spirit.... breastfeed.</I></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Loving Two</B></div> <div> I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand,</div> <div> basking in the glow of our magical relationship.</div> <div> Suddenly I feel a kick from within, </div> <div> as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.</div> <div> And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?</div> <div> Then he is born, and I watch you.</div> <div> I watch the pain you feel at having to share me</div> <div> as you've never shared me before.</div> <div> I hear you telling me in your own way,</div> <div> "Please love only me."</div> <div> And I hear myself telling you in mine,</div> <div> "I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.</div> <div> You cry. I cry with you.</div> <div> I almost see our new baby as an intruder</div> <div> on the precious relationship we once shared.</div> <div> A relationship we can never quite have again.</div> <div> But then, barely noticing,</div> <div> I find myself attached to that new being,</div> <div> and feeling almost guilty.</div> <div> I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am betraying you.</div> <div> But then I notice your resentment change,</div> <div> first to curiosity,</div> <div> then to protectiveness,</div> <div> finally to genuine affection.</div> <div> More days pass,</div> <div> and we are settling into a new routine.</div> <div> The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.</div> <div> But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.</div> <div> There are new times -- only now, we are three.</div> <div> I watch the love between you grow,</div> <div> the way you look at each other, touch each other.</div> <div> I watch how he adores you -- as I have for so long.</div> <div> I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.</div> <div> And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you,</div> <div> I've given something to you.</div> <div> I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.</div> <div> I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.</div> <div> And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.</div> <div> Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.</div> <div> And although I realize that you may have to share my time,</div> <div> I now know you'll never share my love.</div> <div> There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.</div> <div> I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life."</div> <div> author unknown</div> <bR> <div> <B>Links!</B></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.lactivist.com/index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.lactivist.com/index.htm"><U><IMG SRC="1d8f1250.gif" border=0 width="241" height="37" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.lactivist.com/index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.lactivist.com/index.htm"><U>http://www.lactivist.com/index.htm</U></A></div> <div> and their link for nursing <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#003300" FACE="Arial" >adopted babies</FONT> (yes! You can do it!!)</div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.lactivist.com/adopted.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.lactivist.com/adopted.htm"><U>http://www.lactivist.com/adopted.htm</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.lalecheleague.org/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.lalecheleague.org/"><U><IMG SRC="1d1785a0.gif" border=0 width="120" height="90" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A>     </div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.lalecheleague.org/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.lalecheleague.org/"><U>http://www.lalecheleague.org/</U></A></div> <bR> <div> ProMoM's 101 Reasons to Breastfeed</div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.promom.org/101" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.promom.org/101"><U>http://www.promom.org/101</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.bestfed.com/index.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.bestfed.com/index.html"><U><IMG SRC="1d6aa810.jpg" border=0 width="170" height="129" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.bestfed.com/index.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.bestfed.com/index.html"><U>http://www.bestfed.com/index.html</U></A></div> <bR> <div> Are you reading <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#BF0000" FACE="Arial" ><I>On Becoming Babywise</I></FONT>???  Followers or people interested in the teachings of Pastor Gary Ezzo should read this link penned in an American Academy of Pediatrics released article before they begin or before it's too late!</div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.userhome.com/redrhino/AAP/aneyaap.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.userhome.com/redrhino/AAP/ane"><U>http://www.userhome.com/redrhino/AAP/aneyaap.html</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Fun with Toddlers!</B></div> <bR> <div> Join a play group!  Check local parenting publications or the ads in your newspaper, school bulletin boards, library story times, etc.  Or start your own!</div> <bR> <div> There is nothing like finding a community of like minded parents!  I am a part of two groups, a "mainstream" parenting group with a larger group of kids and a breastfeeding Mommies group that is smaller but starting to take off:)  We have 4 Mommy members now with 4 kids (all 18 months to 3 years) and 2 more on the way (due within 6 weeks of each other!:)  All but one (Dan) are nursing but we still get to go, lol! (Update:   Dropped the mainstream group, the AP/BF group is getting bigger and so much fun!  yae!!)</div> <bR> <div> I believe it is very important to have a set of people that you can relate to about parenting.  Even if they have different parenting styles, you can share ideas and learn new things!   And if you have similar parenting styles ((IE: No spanking, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc...) then it can be even better as you can learn about what the other mom has done to deal with issues that relate directly to YOUR family!  And sheesh, as a stay at home Mom, sometimes I just need to talk to an adult, lol!  And no one will listen to you complain about cereal on the floor (not to mention hubby's socks), diapers, sick kids and stains on cloth diapers like another Mommy!   </div> <bR> <div> And that is just the benefits to YOU!  In a diverse play group, you will have children of various ages (though in my limited & humble belief it is probably best to stick with a general age range like 0-4 or 5 years and 5-9 or so.  That way, the kids can still play together without getting bored.  Sometimes older kids want to play with older kids:)</div> <bR> <div> The social interaction between the children is great!  They will learn from each other and just being near another child gives your child such a sense of fun and excitement!  Don't be discouraged if your child wants to play by him or herself during these play groups-it's technically called "parallel play" and is just the way kids start to learn to play.  And when they learn to play together!  YAE!  Sharing and learning and exchanging their valuable knowledge about colors and shapes and how things work!  How beautiful!!</div> <bR> <div> <B>My FAVORITE poem:):)</B></div> <bR> <div> Phenomenal Woman </div> <div> Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. </div> <div> I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size </div> <div> But when I start to tell them, </div> <div> They think I'm telling lies. </div> <div> I say, </div> <div> It's in the reach of my arms, </div> <div> The span of my hips, </div> <div> The stride of my step, </div> <div> The curl of my lips. </div> <div> I'm a woman </div> <div> Phenomenally. </div> <div> Phenomenal woman, </div> <div> That's me </div> <div> I walk into a room </div> <div> just as cool as you please, </div> <div> And to a man, </div> <div> The fellows stand or </div> <div> Fall down to their knees. </div> <div> Then they swarm around me, </div> <div> A hive of honey bees. </div> <div> I say, </div> <div> It's the fire in my eyes, </div> <div> And the flash of my teeth, </div> <div> The swing in my waist, </div> <div> And the joy in my feet. </div> <div> I'm a woman </div> <div> Phenomenally. </div> <div> Phenomenal woman, </div> <div> that's me. </div> <div> Men themselves have wondered </div> <div> What they see in me. </div> <div> They try so much </div> <div> But they can't touch </div> <div> My inner mystery. </div> <div> When I try to show them </div> <div> They say they still can't see. </div> <div> I say, </div> <div> It's in the arch of my back, </div> <div> The sun of my smile, </div> <div> The ride of my breasts, </div> <div> The grace of my style. </div> <div> I'm a woman </div> <div> Phenomenally. </div> <div> Phenomenal woman, </div> <div> That's me. </div> <div> -Maya Angelou! </div> <bR> <div> I have included this information as a service to offer support to mothers. This information has been shared for educational purposes only. The information and opinions contained in this site are in no way intended as medical advice, or meant to replace the services of a licensed medical professional. Under no circumstances will Mama Selena's Herbals or its contributors be liable for damages of any kind that result from reliance on or use of any information provided on this web site. </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>