¡°SAVE THE SHARK¡±/ Thursday - January 14, 1999

SLY : Wow! Check her out.
MATT : Oh. Oh. Oh.
TIFFANI : I¡®m so proud of you, Jake. They're drooling all over their shirts, and you're not.
JAKE : Hey, I only have drool for you, Tiff.
TIFFANI : That's really sweet. But you can look. I'm secure in our relationship.
JAKE : Cool.
TIFFANI : Long enough.
TONY : Yo, Matt. Put your tongue back in your mouth and your eyeballs back in your head.
        That girl is off limits.
MATT : Oh, great. You beat me to her, huh?
TONY : No way. That's the new owner's daughter.
GANG : New owner?!
TONY : Yeah. Sharkey hung up his spron. I guess I should have seen it coming. He was always
        complaining that he hated the beach, the sand, the sun...
TIFFANI : Really? Where did he go?
TONY : Hawaii. So listen up, man. No hitting on the new boss's daughter. I need this job.
SAM : Don't worry, Tony. He wouldn't fire you just because your friends are scoping his
      daughter.
TONY : Yeah, you're probably right.
SAM : He'd fire you to cut costs.
TONY : Thank you. Thank you very much.
JAKE : Have some pride, Tony. Stand tall.
TONY : Yeah. Man, Who's this guy think he is, huh? I'm going to stand tall, real tall.
NICK : Tony, have you got a second?
TONY : Oh, please, Mr. Stone. Don't fire me. Whatever Sharkey told you, it was all lies.
NICK : I want to make you my new manager. Sharkey said you're his best worker.
TONY : Oh. Well, like I was saying, Sharkey never lies. He was a God fearing church man. Can
        I get an amen?
GANG : Amen.
NICK : Great. Now come on, we'll discuss your new responsibilities.
MATT : All right! Way to go man.
TONY : Amen! Aaaa-men. Ah-ha!
TIFFANI : Boy, lucky tony. Mr. Stone seems like a really nice guy.
MATT : Well, he can have him. I want his daughter.
SLY : Matt, take a little tip from Winkle's Wonderful World Of Winning Women. Forget the
      formalities, just go for the lips.
MATT : Ah, that's not my style.
JAKE : Oh, like you've got a style.
MATT : No, really. I like to take my time. Wait for the right moment...
SAM : Then watch it pass you by.
MATT : Watch and learn.
JAKE : Anybody learning anything?
MATT : Hi, I'm Bat Garrison... Ah, Gat Marrison. Uh... Matt Garrison.
KATIE : Hi. Katie Stone.
MATT : So, uh, I hear you have a father.
KATIE : No, what I meant was... I'm so lame... I'm trying to ask you out, I'm just not very good
         at it.
KATIE : Oh, that's okay. I know how difficult it is. I mean, the other person might say no, and
         you'll feel like a total dork.
MATT : So, you'll go out with me?
KATIE : No. Sorry. I can't.
SLY : Hey, guys.
JAKE/MATT : Hey, Sly.
SLY : Antoine, we need to have a little manager-to-manager talk.
TONY : Sly, just forget it. Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying.
SLY : Picture this.
TONY : I don't want to hear it.
SLY : The Dreams play at Sharkey's every night!
TONY : Oh man. I talk and he doesn't listen.
JAKE : Tony, wait a second. I ag... I ag... I agree with Winkle.
MATT : I know. I know. It's hard to say, huh?
TONY : Well, if you two are in, I guess it's cool. Hey, we're hired.
MATT : All right!
SLY : Ha! The Dreams play at Sharkey's. The Dreams are...
MATT : Oh, man, it's her. This is great. She's going to PCH. Now I'll get to see her every
        single day.
JAKE : Yeah, and relive the rejection every single day.
MATT : You think that's funny, Sommers, huh?! Look at me! Do I look like I'm laughing to
        you?!
JAKE : No, but it looks like you're touching me, and you're yelling at me...so either you really
       like this girl or you've lost your mind.
MATT : Uh, you choose. Whichever will cost me fewer teeth is fine with me.
JAKE : Calm down. I understand.
MATT : Thank you.
SAM : Wow, Matt. Katie's a really nice girl. You picked a great girl to be rejected by.
TIFFANI : You know what? I think she's just shy. Maybe you should give it another shot.
MATT : Okay...okay...what do I have to lose?
SAM : Nothing at all, except for your pride, dignity, self esteem...
MATT : And since you've taken those away, I've nothing left to lose. Except my balance.
KATIE : Matt, are you okay?
MATT : I must admit, I'd rather be standing.
KATIE : Are you sure you're all right?
MATT : L'd be a lot better if you'd go to a movie with me.
KATIE : Oh, Matt. You're not asking me for a date, are you?
MATT : Uh, a date? No. No, of course not. I was just inviting you to the movies with me and
        my friends.
KATIE : Gosh, that sounds like fun. I'll see you later.
MATT : Great. A nice romantic date - for seven.
KATIE : Thanks for the popcorn, Matt.
TIFFANI : Yeah, and the Goobers.
JAKE : Yeah, and the Raisinettes.
SAM : And the sodas.
TONY : These Milk Duds are great.
SLY : I need more butter for my popcorn.
MATT : Then go get some.
SLY : Well, with that kind of attitude, see if I give you a good night kiss.
MATT : Katie, can I get you anything else? I'm running a tab at the Snack Bar.
KATIE : No, I'm fine. Actually, I think it's really sweet that you took six people to the movies
        just to be alone with me.
MATT : To be alone with you, I'd take the Peking Circus.
TONY : Yo, Matt. Use the old yawn and stretch. It works every time.
MATT : Leave me alone, Tony. I want to do it my own way.
SLY : Matt, get her in a liplock and throw away the key.
MATT : Eat your popcorn.
SLY : I can't. It needs more butter.
KATIE : I-can't do this.
MATT : I'm sorry... I just thought... I mean, I leaned in... you leaned in... Oh, no. I've got a zit,
        right?
KATIE : Oh, no, no, no, I really like you, Matt. It's just that I can't get involved right now. I'm
         not going to be here that long. It's the same everywhere we go.
MATT : What are you talking about? Your dad just bought Sharkey's.
KATIE : You mean you don't know? My dad's a land developer. He only bought Sharkey's so he
         could tear it down and build condos.
MATT : Tear down Sharkey's?
TONY : Yo, Katie, are you sure your father is really going to tear down Sharkey's?
KATIE : Yeah, my dad works on the three B's principle. Buy it up, blow it up, build it up.
TIFFANI : Don't take this the wrong way, but your dad's a real poop.
TONY : Man, I dan't believe I'm going to lose my job.
TIFFANI : Tony, I know how you feel. This stinks. I feel like I'm losing a part of me.
SLY : You guys are looking at this all wrong. Me, I only see opportunity. Does your dad need
      an assistant? A partner? A son?
MATT : Come on, Sly. We're talking about Sharkey's. I mean, my parents dated there...you and I
        used to hang out there when we were kids...We even saw Johnny Himalaya and the
        Wavebreakers play there.
JOHNNY : HEY HEY
    HA HA
YOUNG MATT : Oh, man. Johnny Himalaya and The Wavebreakers. They are awesome!
YOUNG SLY : Baboom!
YOUNG MATT : What are you babooming about, Sly?
YOUNG SLY : I've seen the future. You have to start a band.
YOUNG MATT : Do you really think I'm good enough?
YOUNG SLY : No way. But, chick dig rock bands.
JOHNNY : Okay. Yo, Wavebreakers, let's do it!
MATT : I mean, don't you see? Without Sharkey's there never would have been a California
        Dreams. We've got to save it.
KATIE : I don't know, guys. I mean, nobody's ever stopped my dad before. His motto is: "If it
         don't make dollars, it don't make sense."
JAKE : Well, if all this guy cares about is money, then we've got to teach him a new motto:
       "Sharkey's makes dollars, so tearing it down don't make sense."
MATT : Let's do it!
GANG : Yeah!
SLY : Thank you. Five dollar cover to hear the Dreams.
ROB : Can you get us some good seats?
SLY : Oh, you want to sit? That'll be five more bucks.
ROB : We'll stand.
SLY : That'll be ten bucks.
MATT : Welcome to Sharkey's. Thanks for coming.
MATT : Uh, congratulations to Vinnie and Theresa on their five-day anniversary?
MATT : Okay. Let's do it. One, two, three, four.

(MUSIC CUE : "CALIFORNIA DREAMS"
ALL : AHHHH OOOOOHHHHH
MATT : SURF DUDES WITH ATTITUDE
ALL : KINDA GROOVY
MATT : LAID BACK MOOD
  SKY ABOVE SAND BELOW
ALL : GOOD VIBRATIONS
MATT : FEELIN MELLOW
SAM : WON'T GIVE IT UP
 DON'T WANT TO STOP
ALL : DON'T WAKE ME UP
SAM : DON'T WAKE ME UP IF I'M DREAMIN
ALL : CALIFORNIA DREAMS
SAM : JUST LET ME LAY HERE IN THE SUN
UNTIL MY DREAM IS DONE
TONY : NOISE AND CONFUSION
  TOUGH TIMES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
  LET ME KEEP MY ILLUSIONS
  THESE DREAMS ARE
ALL : GOOD
ALL : DON'T WAKE ME UP
SAM : DON'T WAKE ME UP IF I'M DREAMIN
ALL : CALFORNIA DREAMS
SAM : JUST LET ME LAY HERE IN THE SUN
UNTKL MY DREAM IS DONE)

SAM : What a night. I must have waited on a jundred people. My legs are tired, my arms are
      tired, my hair is tired.
JAKE : It's amazing her mouth's not tired.
SAM : Hey! I didn't say my ears were tired.
MATT : Whoa! Check this out.
JAKE : Hey, that's Johnny Himalaya and the Wavebreakers.
MATT : "Thanks, Sharkman, for giving us our first break." Signed Johnny.
TONY : That's unbelievable.
TIFFANI : I knew Johnny and the Wavebreakers played here... but I didn't know they got started
           here.
SLY : Okay, figuring in cover charges, table receipts, and valet parking... the grand total is...
      Whoa! We cleared five grand.
JAKE : This should really show Mr. Stone something.
NICK : What should show me something?
SLY : Ah! Let me tell you, Mr. S., one businessman to another, there's big bucks in burgers.
MATT : Yeah. So you don't have to tear Sharkey's down.
NICK : Oh, so that's what this is all about... Look, I've got nothing against you guys, and
       nothing against Sharkey's.
TIFFANI : Then why are you trying to kill it?
GANG : Yeah?
NICK : It's nothing personal. It's strictly business...
JAKE : Oh, come on, how much could you possible by making?
NICK : Oh, seven, easy.
JAKE : That's only two grand more than we made tonight.
NICK : Seven million.
SLY : Oh, please adopt me! Please adopt me! Please!
NICK : I'm sorry, guys. The demolition crew will be here on Wednesday. Tony, let me have the
       keys.
NICK : As of now, Sharkey's is closed.
KATIE : Hi, guys. I heard about what happened with my dad.
TONY : Oh, you mean "Nuke em Nick?"
KATIE : I'm really sorry.
TIFFANI : Yeah, it's so sad. No more Sharkey's It'll be like it never existed.
KATIE : Well, not exactly. I mean, the new condos are going to be called Sharkey Towers.
MATT : Katie, think hard. Isn't there any way to beat your dad? A protest? A lawsuit?
         Kryptonite?
KATIE : Well, one guy did try to get his gas station declared an historical site. He said Elvis
         Pumped gas there.
TIFFANI : Really? What happened?
KATIE : It turned out Elvis didn't pump gas  he just had to go to the bathroom.
MATT : Johnny Himalaya!
MATT : Johnny Himalaya can save Sharkey's!
JAKE : Are you nuts? Johnny Himalaya's dead. Remember - that freak surfing accident. He tried
       to play the electric guitar while riding the Big One, and, zzzt.
MATT : Listen. Johnny Himalaya is a rock legend. That picture in the office proves that he got
        his start at Sharkey's. If we can prove Sharkey's is historical, then no one can touch it.
TONY : I don't know how we're gonna get that picture. Mr. Stone took my keys.
KATIE : Oh, no. You guys, I can't steal his keys. I mean, he's my dad.
SLY : Hey, I don't blame you. Why risk getting tossed out of the will?
MATT : Not everything is about money, Sly. It's alright, Katie, we understand.
SAM : Yeah, Katie, if I were in your shoes, I don't know what I would do.
KATIE : Thanks for understanding, guys. Most people wouldn't.
MATT : I can't believe it. Tomorrow those bulldozers are going to turn Sharkey's into a pile of
        rubble. There must be some way to get in.
TONY : Without those keys, there's only one way.
TONY : Man, I can't believe the door was unlocked.
TIFFANI : Well, it's a good thing. This way we're not breaking and entering... We're just opening
           and entering.
MATT : Come on, let's get that picture.
MATT : Uh-oh. I think I heard something.
TONY : Oh, man. We're going to jail! I know it. I know it.
SAM : Someone's coming! Hide!
MATT : Katie?!
SAM : Hey, look, Matt. Katie's got the photo of Johnny and the Weedwhackers.
MATT : That's Wavebreakers. And Katie, what are you doing here?
KATIE : I've decided I don't want to move again. I want to stay here.
TIFFANI : Well, why don't you just tell your dad?
KATIE : Well, I've tried, and he won't listen, because he's always so caught up in his projects.
         So, I figured if I could help you blow his deal, he'd have to stop and listen.
SLY : You lose the man seven million dollars, he'll hear you loud and clear.
MATT : Katie, are you sure about this?
KATIE : Yeah. And there is another reason. I really like you, Matt.
MATT : Excuse us, guys.
MATT : Okay.
SAM : Oh wow! There's a bunch of really cute guys coming this way.
JAKE : Those aren't cute guys, those are the movers.
SAM : So, movers can't be cute?
TIFFANI : They must be coming to take the furniture before they tear the place down.
MATT : You guys stall them. I'll be back as soon as I can.
JAKE : Alright. No matter what happens, nothing leaves here. You got it?
GANG : Yeah!
JAKE : Okay, so they got everythin. But if they want to tear this place down they're going to
       have to do it with us in it.
TONY : I don't know, Jake. This wrecking ball is making a wreck out of me.
TIFFANI : Come on, you guys, Matt should be back any minute. We've got to hold on a little
           longer.
SAM : Where are you going?
SLY : Where? Uh, I was just going to protect the parking lot.
JAKE : Don't make me tie you up, Wimple.
NICK : Okay, kids. Games over. Come on. Let's go.
KATIE : We can't let you tear down Sharkey's, Dad.
NICK : Katie, what are you doing here?
KATIE : I'm helping my friends.
NICK : Honey, I understand, but it's just a restaurant. They'll find some other place to hang out.
TIFFANI : Have a heart, Mr. Stone. Isn't there some place that was special to you?
NICK : Well, sure, the Golden Tornado Diner. Bast fries on the Jersey shore. I used to go there
       every summer with my folks.
TIFFANI : See? Then you understand. How would you feel if someone tore it down?
NICK : Someone did. Me. Now it's the Golden Tornado Golf Course. But enough Reminiscing.
       Come on. Let's go.
MATT : Hold on, Mr. Stone. You won't be tearing down any buildings today.
MATT : Well, I've got four bulldozers out there that say I will.
MATT : No, Mr. Stone, meet Mrs. Rubio. She's from the Historical Society.
NICK : Let me guess--Elvis used the bathroom here.
MRS. RUBIO : No, but Johnny Himalaya did. In fact, he was discovered here. He's our cozy little
              community's most famous citizen. So, we can't have you tearing this place down.
              Now, can we?
NICK : Yes, we can. Just watch me.
MRS. RUBIO : Don't mess with me, Stone. Read it and weep.
MATT : It's a stop work order until next week, when they officially declare Sharkey's a
        historical landmark.
GANG : Alright!
NICK : Come on, Katie. You and I have to have a little talk. I'm not very happy with you.
MATT : Oh, wait, Mr. Stone. Don't be mad at Katie. She didn't do this to hurt you.
NICK : What are you talking about?
MATT : She did it because she's happy here. She doesn't want to move again. Ask her.
KATIE : I've tried to tell you, Dad, but all you ever think about is money. It's like I'm not
        even here.
NICK : You know I love you.
KATIE : Oh, and I love you, too. And I know you mean really well. But for once I'd like to stay
         put and have a normal life.
NICK : I had no idea. Come on, let's go home. Maybe we can work something out.
KATIE : Give me a second.
KATIE : Matt, thank you. I'll call you later.
JAKE : Alright, Carrison! Way to go!
MATT : Thanks.
TIFFANI : I'm proud of you, Matt.
JOHNNY : Hey kid.
MATT : Johnny Himalaya?
JOHNNY : Good job, man.
MATT : Wow!

-THE END-