"Lorena's Place" / Wednesday - February 10, 1999

TIFFANI : Hello? Sam? Lorena? Where are you guys?
SAM : Tiff, over here. Hurry.
TIFFANI : Oh, boy, this is exciting!... Why are we hiding?
SAM : Because Lorena's dad got some stupid poem framed for her mom and she won't stop
      talking about the stupid thing.
TIFFANI : Oh, but that sounds so sweet.
LORENA : Sure, it was sweet the first thousand times.
SAM : Yeah, but by the second thousand times, you just want to go...
TIFFANI : Well, your mom and dad are about to leave on their anniversary. I'm sure the poem
           is the last thing on her mind.
MRS. COSTA : Lorena! Lorena!
MRS. COSTA : Tiffani! Let me show you this lovely poem Mr. Costa framed for me. He wrote it
                twenty years ago when he proposed to me. Have you seen Lorena?
TIFFANI : Oh, I'm sure she's hiding around here somewhere.
MRS. COSTA : Ah, well, I just wanted to say good-bye to her. I sure hope I left her enough
               money.
LORENA : No, you didn't!
MRS. COSTA : She's been falling for that ever since she was six.
MRS. COSTA : Please put this away, very carefully, in my bedroom. Remember, we're trusting
               you to be responsible. No parties!
LORENA : Don't worry, Mom. You can count on me.
MRS. COSTA : Bye, girls. Have a nice sleep over.
LORENA/TIFFANI : Bye.
MRS. COSTA : Bye, Sam.
SAM : Bye.
SAM : What are you guys doing here?
SLY : We're bird watching. We're observing chicks in their natural habitat.
LORENA : Don't spy on us, you Peeping Toms.
SLY : Hey, we are not Peeping Toms. We just like watching girls without them knowing.
TONY : I mean, no, what are you talking about, man?
LORENA : Bye-bye, guys.
SLY : Hey, we didn't come here to ogle you. That was just a bonus. Heh. I'm talking about how
      to cash in on your parents vacation. Check it out: One huge house, multiplied by hundreds
      of kids paying to party, equals...
TONY : Another Winkle-money-making-scheme that ends up with us praying "Dear-Lord-
        please-get-us-out-of-this-one-and-we'll-never-do-it-again."
LORENA : Yeah, forget it, Sly. My parents are trusting me. That means no parties.
LORENA : Ooh La La! Who is he?
SAM : Allen Whitman. He just moved here from San Francisco. But forget it. I hear he won't
      even talk to a girl if she's not a serious poet.
LORENA : Oh, come on. No guy would take flowery words over a hot kiss.
JOY : Hi. I hear you're new around here. Looking for a tour guide?
ALLEN : Well, that depends. What's your favorite poem?
JOY : Uh, okay, "ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE--"
ALLEN : "DON'T CALL ME, I WON'T CALL YOU."
JOY : That's not how it goes.
LORENA : Ooh, a challenge. I like it.
LORENA : Okay, guys this is my one shot to get Allen. I'm counting on your help.
LORENA : Ahem...
SAM : Uh, Lorena, we need you to settle a bet for us.
TIFFANI : Yeah, you're the most serious poet we know.
SAM : In Keats "Ode to Melancholy" he mentions yew-berries. Now was that symbolic of death,
      or a new type of breakfast cereal?
LORENA : Death.
TIFFANI : See, I told you it was death.
SLY : Hey, Lorena, we got a little poem here we could use your opinion on.
MARK : Yeah, you're the most serious poet we know.
LORENA : Of course.
SLY : "PLEASE HAVE A PARTY,
PLEASE HAVE A PARTY,
PLEASE HAVE A PARTY,
uh... "MARTY."
MARK : The last part was mine. What do you think?
LORENA : I think it was Shakespeare who said it best when he wrote: "It biteeth."
ALLEN : Hi. I'm Allen.
LORENA : Oh, excuse me, I'm sure you're nice, but I only speak to serious poets.
ALLEN : I'm a serious poet.
LORENA : Oh, then, I'm Lorena.
ALLEN : You know, it's a shame there's no place to give readings like in San Francsco. I used to
         go to coffee houses all the time. Man, I must've spent a fortune on cappuccino.
SLY : A fortune, huh? Um, Lorena, are you still having that coffee house at your loft this
      weekend?
LORENA : What coffee house?
SLY : You know... The coffee house with the great poetry and the over-priced coffee?
ALLEN : That sounds cool. I'll be there.
LORENA : Oh, that coffee house. Oh, yeah, I have it every weekend.
GANG : She does?
SLY : She do!
LORENA : Guys, I promised my folks I wouldn't have any parties, so please make sure nothing,
           absolutely nothing, gets broken.
SAM : Okay.
TONY : Okay, we will.
JAKE : Uh, Lorena, you know that uh, little golden lamp in your dad's den?
LORENA : Ahhh! That's a five-hundred dollar lamp! Is it broken?
JAKE : No! Of course not... Not any more.
SLY : Hey, hey, hey, ho...
TIFFANI : Awesome turnout, Sly. How'd you do it?
SLY : Well, it took some back-breaking advertising. Fortunately, it was Mark's back.
MARK : Ding-ding... ding-ding...
TONY : Could't you have at least given him a bell that works?
SLY : Hey, I saved a buck.
MARK : Ding-ding... ding-ding...
LORENA : Hi, Allen.
ALLEN : Hey.
LORENA : Come on in, grab a pillow. Would you like some coffee?
ALLEN : Sure. Cool place. I can't wait to hear you read your poetry.
LORENA : My what?
ALLEN : Well, I assumed since you're such a serious poet... You are going to read some of  
         your own work, of course.
LORENA : Of course. yeah, I was just working on the ending of a little poem thingey-type. Mm
           -hm. A-ha, yeah. Excuse me.
SLY : Hey, kitkats and big daddy-o's. Like, dig, the first poets for you tonight are Sam and
      Tony.
SAM : Ready, hon?
TONY : Oh, absolutely. Right after I take one more sip of this delicious coffee.
SAM : Take it easy, Tony. You know how caffeine affects you.
TONY : Sam, please, I think I'm old enough to know when I've had enough coffee.
SAM : "TONIGHT, A FRIEND CALLED ON THE PHONE"
SAM : "HE'S SAID HE'S NOT A HAPPY PUPPY"
SAM : "WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE, HE GROANED."
SAM : Tony, I have more lines to read yet.
TONY : I can't stop, I drank too much coffee.
SAM : The end.
TIFFANI : Uh, there's a Buick parked out front. And it's lights are on. Does it belong to
           someone here?
TIFFANI : This isn't a poem. It's true. There really is a car.
TIFFANI : Well, I hope your battery dies and you have to walk home in the rain.
TIFFANI : Thank you, thank you.
SLY : Our next poet for you tonight is the spicy Lorena Costa.
LORENA : No, it's not.
SLY : No, it's not. It's Jake Sommers.
JAKE : "SURF DUDES... WITH ATTITUDES.
 KINDA GROOVEY... LAID BACK MOODS...
 SKY ABOVE... SAND BELOW... GOOD VIBRATIONS...
SAM : You'd better hurry up with that poem, Lorena. I think Allen's ready to leave.
LORENA : Sam, he hasn't heard me read yet. There is no way in the world he's going to leave.
ALLEN : I'm leaving, Lorena. These people aren't serious poets. Well, except for that blond girl
         with the pithy poem about the Buick.
LORENA : Wait, Allen, I have a great poem I wrote just for you. Sly, buy me some time.
SLY : Uh, uh, while we're waiting for our next poet, um, we have a real treat for you. Mark
      Winkle is going to grind more coffee beans.
MARK : OW!!!
TIFFANI : Lorena, what are you doing? That's your mother's poem.
LORENA : Yeah, but Allen doesn't know that.
LORENA : "I DREAMED I SAW YOU STANDING IN A PACIFIC SUNSET.
ALONE, ON THE WET SAND, PEACEFULLY
GLOWING, PEACEFULLY WARM.
I DREAMED I SAW YOU LAUGHING BY AN ICE CREAM STAND.
EATING AND SMILING AND MELTING MY HEART..."
"I DREAMED YOU WERE DREAMING OF ME, DREAMING OF YOU,
LOVING YOU, ALWAYS LOVING YOU, ETERNALLY."
ALLEN : That was beautiful. I'll always keep this close to my heart.
LORENA : Oh, wait a minute, you can't take that--
ALLEN : Please say you'll have dinner with me tomorrow.
LORENA : Okay.
ALLEN : Until then.
LORENA : I have a date with Allen.
TIFFANI : And Allen has your mother's poem.
LORENA : Ewww...
TIFFANI : Lorena, just tell Allen the truth. I'm sure he'll give you back the poem.
LORENA : But what if he blows me off? I'll never even know if he's a good kisser.
SAM : Here he comes.
TIFFANI : Go get him.
LORENA : Hi, Allen.
ALLEN : Lorena, I haven't slept. I stayed up all night memorizing your beautiful poem.
LORENA : Funny you should mention that poem...
LORENA : Ah! You folded it?!
ALLEN : I told you I'd always keep it close to my heart.
LORENA : Oh...
ALLEN : Do you know how hard it is in this world to find honest emotion?
LORENA : Oh, oh, just a little harder than you think.
LORENA : Listen, Allen, I have to tell you something, but--
LORENA : Before I do...
LORENA : Mm-kay, about this poem... I... Oh, just one more. I didn't write the poem.
ALLEN : You didn't write it?
LORENA : No. You see, my dad wrote it for my mom. It's actually kinda funny, if you think
          about it, huh?
ALLEN : No.
LORENA : Huh?
ALLEN : No.
LORENA : Huh?
ALLEN : No.
LORENA : Huh?
ALLEN : No! I'm furious! You said you wrote this for me!
LORENA : Ah! You ripped it!
ALLEN : I only wish I could rip it out of my brain.
TIFFANI : Look at the bright side. At least you know he's a good kisser.
SAM : Yeah.
LORENA : I'm dead. I broke my parents trust, and I lost my mom's most prized possession! How
           could I have done it? I will never be irresponsible again.
SAM : Hey, I know. We'll make up a story that the house was robbed.
LORENA : Yeah, yeah! Let's do that!!
JAKE : Oh, yeah, it happens all the time. Thieves break into mansions and steal just the poems.
SLY : Hey, I'll take the stereo if it helps.
TIFFANI : Lorena, look! I taped the poem back together!
TONY : Oh, yeah, this is, uh, as good as new.
LORENA : No, I can take re-type it. Oh, no. The first two lines aren't here. Does anyone
           remember them?
SAM : Hey, I know someone who memorized the entire poem...
LORENA/SAM : Allen!
LORENA : That's it! All I have to do is ask him what the first two lines are and then...
           remember that he hates me.
JAKE : Yeah, but he loves poetry. So maybe if we had another coffee house...
SLY : Another coffee house? I like it!
LORENA : But my parents are coming back tonight.
JAKE : So, we'll be cutting it close.
SAM : I don't know, Jake. What makes you so sure Allen will even show up?
JAKE : Trust me. If we pour the coffee, he will come.
JAKE : Look, don't worry, Lorena, this will work, okay?
LORENA : I know, we have plenty of time. My parents won't be back for hours.
JAKE : There you go.
SAM : Lorena!
LORENA : Oh, whatever you do, don't tell me my parents just called and they're coming home
           early.
SAM : Um... uh... it looks like you're putting on a little weight.
SAM : No, no, I'm kidding. Your parents are coming home early.
LORENA : Oh, thank goodness.
TONY : Oh, Allen, Allen, alright, you're here.
ALLEN : Are you kidding, I wouldn't miss hearing Sting read poetry for anything.
SLY : Yeah, well, Sting had to go save a rainforest. Now we need a serious poet to take his
      place.
TONY : That's right. We need you, Allen. I mean, who knows more about poetry?
ALLEN : Well, nobody but...
SLY : Poetry's calling you, Allen. Can't you hear her call?
TONY : "HARK, ALLEN, BE NOT PROUD. RECITE SOME POETRY MIGHTY LOUD."
ALLEN : But, I don't have any of my work with me.
SLY : Well, you must have some stuff memorized, right?
ALLEN : Yeah.
SLY : Just do that.
ALLEN : I suppose I could.
TONY : Yeah.
SLY : Let's go. Come on. Well, all right, give up the snaps for Allen Whitman.
ALLEN : Ahem... "OF MAN'S FIRST DISOBEDIENCE, AND THE FRUIT OF THAT--"
SLY : You're losing them, man. Try something romantic.
ALLEN : Ahem... "MY MISTRESS EYES ARE NOTHING LIKE THE SUN. CORAL IS--"
ALLEN : Tough coffee house.
TONY : Mm-hm... Now try it again. But this time try something new.
ALLEN : "I DREAMED I SAW YOU STANDING IN A PACIFIC SUNSET..."
         "ALONE, ON THE WET SAND, PEACEFULLY GLOWING, PEACEFULLY WARM.
         I DREAMED--"
SLY : Uh, that's all the time we have. Goodnight. Uh, please, everyone, drive carefully. But, uh,
      get the heck out, NOW!
ALLEN : Lorena, can I talk to you?
LORENA : No time. Gotta go type.
ALLEN : But I can't stop thinking about you.
LORENA : Oh, Sam, could you go type this?
SAM : Oh, sure.
ALLEN : I've had time to think, and I'm sorry I ripped up your poem. I overreacted.
LORENA : I'm sorry I wasn't honest. I... I just wanted to impress you.
ALLEN : Oh, you impressed me all right. Your lips are poetry in motion.
LORENA : Oh, tell me more.
TIFFANI : Lorena, your parents will be home in five minutes.
LORENA : Tell me tomorrow.
ALLEN : What?
TIFFANI : Come on, Lorena, how are we going to get this place cleaned up on time?
TONY : Not to worry. One more sip of coffee and I'm... Da-da-da-dah... Caffeine man!
JAKE : Tony, no, man!! That's espresso!! You--
MARK : Wow, not even out of breath. You're like Superman.
TONY : That's right. But by day I'm just mild-mannered Tony Wicks.
MRS. COSTA : Hello! We're home.
LORENA : Mom!
MRS. COSTA : Wow, look at this place. It's clean. I expected pizza boxes, soda cans and empty
                potato chip bags. What kind of teenagers are you?
SAM : I'm finished -- oops.
SLY : Oh, Mrs. Costa, is that a new hat?
MRS. COSTA : Why, yes, I just got it.
SLY : Well, let me see the top of it.
SLY : You know what they say, the best hats have great tops. Oh yeah, this is a top-notch top.
MRS. COSTA : What's wrong with you, Sly? You could've ripped my new hat... It is a good top,
               isn't it?
LORENA : Ah, look, Mom, I was just showing your poem to my friends.
MRS. COSTA : Oh, it's so beautiful. I do love... Ahh... Lorena Marina Costa, did you think I
                wouldn't notice?
LORENA : Oh, I knew we'd never get away with it. I'm sorry, Mom, if I'd never had the coffee
           houdr hrtr, your poem never would've been torn up. It's all my fault. I should've kept
           my word and been responsible.
MRS. COSTA : I meant all the fingerprints.
LORENA : Oh... oh? Well, those will come right off with a little vinegar and water. I'll go clean
           it for you.
SAM : We'll help.
MRS. COSTA : Hold it. First, I'd like to hear a little more about this coffee house.
SLY : Coffee house? What coffee house?
LORENA : Oh, Mom, it's a long story.
MRS. COSTA : You're grounded.
LORENA : Oh, well, then I guess I'll have plenty of time to tell it to you.
MRS. COSTA : Mm...

-THE END-