"Dancing Isn't Everything" / Friday - February 19, 1999

TONY : Well, well, well. Looks like you finally found a partaner for Sharkey's big dance contest,
        huh? He's great!
LORENA : I've seen rocks with better rhythm! Hit the road, Chet.
CHET : No, but, wait, I can hand jive.
JAKE : Isn't it a little hard to find a dance partner when you insult every guy who tries out?
LORENA : Okay. So I'm critical. But, I can't help it. I've always dreamed of being a dancer. I've
           taken all sorts of classes, you know: jazz, modern, ballet, hip hop, even... belly.
SAM : Wow, Lorena, I had no idea this dance contest was so important to you.
LORENA : Oh, it is. You guys are in the limelight all the time. This is Lorena Marina Costa's
           time to shine. That's why I need to find a partner as great as I am!
TONY : Too bad the Dreams are playing at the dance contest, Lorena. Otherwise I'd dance with
        you.
SLY : Okay, okay, I'll do it.
LORENA : Good one, Sly. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a partner to find!
TIFFANI : Hey, guys! Check out this neat book about dreams!
MARK : Whoa, cool! Somebody wrote a book about us?
TIFFANI : No, you monkey boy, it's about dream interpretation. It helps us understand what our
           dreams are saying.
TONY : Ooh. Okay, okay, then interpret this dream: Now I'm standing on this giant guitar, then
        out walks Elvis wearing Jake's leather jacket. He hands me this ice cream cone, when
        as I start to sing in it, I wake up.
TIFFANI : Well, that's easy. You want to replace Jake as leader of the Dreams.
TONY : Mmmm. "Leader" huh. I could pick out the songs and yell at Sly and--
JAKE : I think it's a dumb dream.
TONY : Me, too. Very dumb.
SLY : Well, what does this mean? I dreamt that I was with Lorena. I got her flowers, we kissed,
      got married and lived happily ever after.
TIFFANI : Ooh, though one. I'd better look that one up.
SAM : Get real, you don't need a book for this. It's obvious: Sly's got the hots for Lorena.
SLY : Bahsha, yeah!
TIFFANI : Sam, please, you are fooling with something very complex. Dream interpretation is a
           science, and I've got the answer right here.
TIFFANI : You've got the hots for Lorena.
SLY : Man, ever since Tiff interpreted my dream about Lorena, I can't get her out of my mind.
      We're perfect for each other: We both love money, we're both ambitious--
SAM : You're both vain.
SLY : We are not vain. We're just better looking than most people.
JAKE : Come on Winkle, admit it. You just want to get her down to Paradise Cove for some lip
       -lock.
SLY : Well, that too. Every time I think about her I get a lump in my throat, my heart beats
      really fast, and I want to hurl...
TIFFANI : Ah, you are in love. And that's so cute, you almost tossed your cookies.
MARK : So, are you going to ask her out?
SLY : I'm going to do better than that. I'm going to help her win that dance contest by being her
      partner.
TONY : Ah, excuse me, but, as I recall, you've already offered her your services. And her exact
        words were...
JAKE : No, no, as I recall, her exact words were...
MARK : Actually, it was more like--
SLY : Okay, okay, I was there, thank you. But it's different now, she's more desperate. There's
      nobody left in our school.
LORENA : Guys, I'd like you to meet my dance partner. Andre.
SLY : Hey, he doesn't go to our school.
LORENA : I know. He goes to Julliard Dance Academy. Next year he'll be going to the Joffrey
          Ballet.
TIFFANI : Lorena, he's a professional. That's not very fair to everyone else.
LORENA : Yeah, I know. Could you guys play something for us?
JAKE : You got it. Alright, "Let me be the one" One...two...three...

(MUSIC CUE : "LET ME BE THE ONE"
TIFFANI : LET ME BE THE ONE
TIFFANI : CHECK IT OUT
STOP DRAGIN YOURSELF AROUND
THINKIN EVERYBODY HAS LET YOU DOWN
WE ALL NEED A LITTLE HELP TO GET
THROUGH
DON'T YOU KNOW I'LL BE HERE FOR YOU
TIFFANI/SAM : LET ME BE THE ONE
TIFFANI : TO MAKE IT RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE ALL BY
YOURSELF
TIFFANI/SAM : LET ME BE THE ONE
TIFFANI : JUST CALL MY NAME
TIFFANI : LET ME BE THE ONE
TIFFANI : I'LL BE THERE IN A HURRY
TIFFANI/SAM : LET ME BE THE ONE
TIFFANI : YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
TIFFANI/SAM : LET ME BE THE ONE)

LORENA : You're fantastic! That trophy is as good as mine!
ANDRE : Ah, ours.
LORENA : Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
SLY : She's amazing! I have to have her!
SAM : But she has Andre.
SLY : Yeah, I know. If only something would happen to him.
ANDRE : Aaahh! Ooh, my ankle!
SLY : That'll work.
MARK : Hey, Jake, what song should we open the dance contest with?
JAKE : I thought we'd play "This Time."
TONY : Uh, Jake, um, not that I'm second-guessing you or anything, but, ah, wouldn't "One
        World" be better?
JAKE : Sure, why not? Hey, it might be good if we played that one unplugged...
TONY : At a dance contest? Jake, they need the electric beat to boogie to!
JAKE : Alright! Fine. Alright, then next we'll play "She's Not You"--
JAKE : What's your quirk, man? Have you been dreaming about taking over the band again?
        Maybe you'd like to suggest what we eat before the gig?
TONY : Well, actually, I was thinking a nice tuna casserole...
LORENA : Forget it. No way.
SLY : Well, if you don't dance with me, you won't dance at all. Then there's no way you'll win.
      So, what do you say?
LORENA : Fine. But if you blow it, I will crush you like the little cucaracha that you are.
SLY : LA CUCARACHA, LA CUCARACHA, I'M GONNA DANCE INTO HER HEART...
LORENA : Sly, the contest is tomorrow! I don't have time for fooling around!
SLY : I wasn't! Those were my best moves!
LORENA : You're dead.
JAKE : Hold it!
TIFFANI : You can't kill him.
LORENA : Why not?
TIFFANI : Um... um... um... Help me out here, guys.
JAKE : I'll pay you.
JAKE : Go for it.
SAM : You'll go to prison.
LORENA : It's worth the time.
MARK : Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know! Because he's the only dance partner you have.
LORENA : Fine. It's you and me, Sly. To the death. I'm going to teach those rhythmless sticks
           you call legs to dance.
TIFFANI : Uh, Lorena, maybe this isn't the best way to teach Sly how to dance.
LORENA : If he danced that way on "Star Search" he'd win the comedy contest.
SLY : Alright, even a Winkle draws the line at being insulted, if maybe farther away than most
      people's. But, one more insult and I'm out of here.
LORENA : Just one? I'll have to choose carefully.
SLY : That's it. I'm outta here. Those dreams I've been having about you are all wrong. Find
      yourself a new dance partner.
LORENA : Dreams? What is he talking about?
SAM : Lorena, Sly has a crush on you.
LORENA : Ah, who cares, I need to find a -- He's got a what on me?
TIFFANI : He's been dreaming about you all week. So be careful; he's vulnerable.
LORENA : Wow, I wish I'd known that before. I've been handling this whole thing wrong.
SLY : Who does she think she is? Nobody insults Sly Winkle and gets away with it.
LORENA : Sly, I'm sorry--
SLY : That's okay, it was all my fault.
LORENA : No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have been so mean. It's just that I really want to win
           this contest.
SLY : I wish I could be better for you. I just don't have it in me.
LORENA : Well, just because you can't dance doesn't mean we can't dance.
SLY : Huh?
LORENA : Well, I've been thinking. You and I have a... special energy... as a team.
SLY : Me and you?
LORENA : As partners.
SLY : Us?
LORENA : As a couple.
SLY : Bah... bah... bah...
LORENA : Boom?
SLY : Oh, yeah.
LORENA : See? We work like a couple already.
JUDGE#1 : Welcome to Sharkey's Annual Dance Contest!
JUDGE#1 : Couples will be judged on style, rhythm, and originality. We'll begin in a moment.
SLY : How about a little kiss, for good luck?
LORENA : Ah, yo no te besaria ni con los labios de mi perro.
SLY : What's that mean?
LORENA : That means, uh... "We'll kiss after we win. It'll be sweeter in victory."
LORENA : Now do exactly as we parcticed. It's the, ah, best use of your talent I could think of.
TONY : One... two... three...

(MUSIC CUE : "NEXT BIG THING"
SAM : HE'S SO, HE'S SO, HE'S SO FUNKY
TONY : WELL LOOKIE HERE
  ALL YOU DUDES AND DUDETTES
  GOT SOMETHIN DOPE
  THAT YA HAVEN'T SEEN YET
  WITH THE FRESHEST THYMES
  I'M GONNA MOVE YA
JAKE : MOVE YA
TONY : IN BODY AND MIND
  I'M GONND GROOVE YA
JAKE : GROOVE YA
TONY : EVERYONE WILL KNOW ME
  FROM HERE TO PEKING
  OOH YEAH
JAKE : OH YEAH
TONY : OH YEAH
  I'M THE NEXT BIG THING
ALL : OOOHHH OOOHHH HE'S FAT
JAKE : HE'S LARGE
ALL : HE'S THE KING
SAM : HE'S SO FUNKY
ALL : OOOHHH YEAH
TONY : OOOHHH YEAH
ALL : HE'S THE NEXT BIG THING
SAM : GIRL, HE IS FINE.
ALL : HE'S THE NEXT BIG THING
TONY : YEAH, YEAH
TONY : WELL IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO FIND
  THE ULTIMATE TIP
  SEARCH NO FURTHER
  CAUSE I AM IT
  ANYTHING YA NEED
  I WILL DELIVER
  TALENT SO SUBLIME
  IT'LL MAKE YOU SHIVER
  ONCE YA GET TO KNOW ME
JAKE : KNOW ME
TONY : AND YA HEARD ME SING
  YOU'LL SAY
JAKE : I'LL SAY
TONY : YOU'LL SAY
  HE'S THE--
JAKE/TONY : NEXT BIG THING
ALL : OOOHHH OOOHHH HE'S FAT
JAKE : HE'S LARGE
ALL : HE'S THE KING
TONY : I'M THE KING
ALL : OOOHHH YEAH
HE'S THE NEXT BIG THING
TONY : I'M THE NEXT BIG THING
SAM : HE'S SO FUNKY
ALL : HE'S THE NEXT BIG THING
TONY : COME ON, COME ON HUH HUH
TONY : COME ON
  EVERYBODY GET UP
  YEAH, NOW
ALL : OOOHHH OOOHHH HE'S FAT
SAM : HE'S SO FUNKY
ALL : HE'S THE KING
JAKE : HE'S HUGE
ALL : OH YEAH
TONY : OH YEAH
ALL : HE'S THE NEXT BIG THING
ALL : OOOHHH OOOHHH HE'S FAT
SAM : HE'S SO FUNKY
ALL : HE'S THE KING
OH YEAH
TONY : I'M THE NEXT BIG THING)

LORENA : I can't believe we're still in it. We're going to win this as long as we stay partners.
SLY : Yeah, I'm beat.
ANDRE : Lorena, the doctor taped my ankle. I could dance. I can dance!
LORENA : I want to switch partners!
SLY : What?
JUDGE #1 : I'm sorry. There's no substitutions unless there's an injury.
LORENA : Oh, Sly. Come show the judge your injury. Does it hurt much?
SLY : What happened to, "Yo no te besaria mi con los labios mi perro?"
LORENA : I meant every word of it.
SLY : "I wouldn't kiss you wity my..." Oh, man.
JUDGE #1 : How about it, are you injured?
SLY : My heart was just broken.
JUDGE #1 : Works for me.
JUDGE #2 : Okay, we'll resume with the final round after a break.
LORENA : Isn't Andre great?! I'd have never gotten to the finals with Sly. His toes should be
           electrocuted for killing dance.
TIFFANI : I don't believe you. Don't you care about Sly?
SAM : Yeah, we didn't tell you Sly liked you so that you would use him.
LORENA : Give me a break! He didn't care about winning this contest.
TIFFANI : No, he didn't. He cared about you.
TONY : Yeah, underneath that self-obsessed-money-grubbing-bikini-chasing-ferret-boy is a
        kine-hearted-got-a-crush-on-you-ferret-boy.
LORENA : Get real. Sly doesn't have feelings.
DELIVERY MAN : Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, Lorena Costa?
LORENA : Here.
DELIVERY MAN : These are from, Sylvester Winkle.
LORENA : Great. Knowing Sly, I'll have to pay for this.
DELIVERY MAN : Nope. He paid for them yesterday--tip included.
LORENA : YOU'VE MADE ME SO HAPPY LORENA
WHETHER IT'S SUNNY OR RAIN-A
I'LL LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART
EVEN IF WE LOSE, I'LL STILL LOVE YOUZE.
Wow. He really does care, and I broke his heart.
LORENA : I can't. I'm sorry. Really sorry. Really, really sorry. Really, really, really sorry...
LORENA : Hi.
SLY : Hi.
LORENA : Sly, I know I made a big mistake. I'm sorry. I wanted to win so badly I made the
           trophy more important than your feelings.
SLY : So you knew all along?
LORENA : No, but when I found out, I kind of used it to my advantage. You must hate me,
           huh?
SLY : Actually, the sick thing is, it kind of makes me want you more. You sure you don't want
      to five us a try?
LORENA : It's really sweet that you care, Sly, and I loved the flowers and the note, but I
           really...
SLY : But "no"
LORENA : I just don't feel the same way. I'm sorry.
SLY : Hey, Sharkey's is that way. Aren't you going to finish the contest?
LORENA : I'm out of the contest. I dumped Andre, so I don't have a dance partner anymore.
SLY : Yes you do.
JUDGE #2 : And now, the final round of Sharkey's annual...
JUDGE #2 : Wait. Wait a minute, I thought you had a broken heart.
SLY : Yeah, I had a transplant.
JUDGE #2 : Works for me.
SLY : Don't worry, I won't move a muscle.
TONY : Alright, alright, alright! It's the last song. Should I count down from three, or up from
        one? I... I can't decide! My dream was wrong, Jake. I don't want to be leader! Please
        take the band back!
JAKE : Is that your final decision?
TONY : Definitely. I think. What do you think?
JAKE : I think we should play "Take it Higher."
TONY : Good thought.
JAKE : In three, two, one...

(MUSIC CUE : "TAKE IT HIGHER"
MARK : IT'S BEEN WRITTEN
  AND IT'S BEEN SAID
  SOMEONE'S ALWAYS MESSIN WITH
  YOUR HEAD
  NO ONE KNOWS YOU
  (HEY) LIKE YOU KNOW YOURSELF
  NO NEED TO LISTEN
  TO EVERYBODY ELSE
  IF YOU'RE ON A DIFFERENT
  WAVELENGTH
  YOU GOTTA GO WITH YOUR
  GREATEST STRENGTH (YEAH)
  WHEN YOU SENSE INTENTIONS
  COME FROM LESS THAN LOVE
  YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT
  YOU CAN RISE ABOVE
ALL : TAKE IT HIGHER
MARK : MAKE IT POSITIVE
ALL/MARK : TAKE IT HIGHER
MARK : WHAT YOU GOT TO GIVE
ALL : TAKE IT HIGHER
MARK : LIVE AND LET LIVE
  RISE ABOVE GO WITH LOVE
  HOW HIGH CAN YOU FLY
ALL : TAKE IT HIGHER
MARK : IF YOU WANT YOUR
  DUE RESPECT
  TRY THE ONE THING
  NO ONE WILL EXPECT, (YEAH)
ALL : TAKE IT HIGHER HIGHER
MARK : MAKE IT POSITIVE
ALL : TAKE IT HIGHER HIGHER
MARK : WHAT YOU GOT TO GIVE
ALL : TAKE IT HIGHER HIGHER
MARK : LIVE AND LET LIVE
  RISE ABOVE GO WITH LOVE
  HOW HIGH CAN YOU FLY
MARK : TAKE IT HIGHER)

SLY : Thanks for letting me cut loose, Lorena. Even though it cost you first place.
LORENA : I know. But I learned friendship is more important than winning.
SLY : Ah, you don't need that trophy. You're a good dancer without it.
LORENA : Thanks.
SLY : If, uh, I said you were a great dancer, could I get a kiss on the lips?

-THE END-