To My Son
My First Born
Unless you have walked in my shoes,
you could never know the pain.
Or hard it is for me not to go insane.
They say I chose to give you away,
Give you away, That's not how it was.
You have no ideas of all my fears.
I wanted you to have a good life,
With a man and his wife.
They would become your Mom and Dad,
The thought of that makes me very sad.
To know your life would go on with out me,
but i had to let you be you see,
Because when it came down to reality,
There was no better place for you to be.
I had no way of telling you,
of the things in life i knew.
I knew I couldn't give you,
the life you so deserved.
I knew I had to find away,
to make all your dreams come your way.
I knew there was nothing I could do or say,
To make it go my way.
I knew that I would love and miss you,
with the passing of each new day.
I put you into Gods arms,
and asked him to watch you on your way.
I will shed my loud and silent tears,
from now and through the years.
For since I carried you under my heart,
We will never be apart.
I will pray for you at night,
That what I chose for you was right.
I did not think of how I would feel,
I had to play the cards and deal.
I wanted only the best for you,
And this was the only thing I knew.
So now your life to me,
will only be a mystery.
Maybe one day the past will unfold,
and all the truths can be told.
I hope you will understand my pain,
When one day we meet again.
Understand how all this came to be,
and why you are not with me.
But in my heart you will always be
my son who I love more than life.
For I chose for you a better life,
With a man and his wife.
But one day I hope to see,
If you at all look like me.
If the life I chose for you,
Was as lovely as the morning dew.
Until then my son I will carry you,
in my heart in all I do.
I will pray for you each day,
in hopes that things go your way.
And until we meet again one day,
I hope that lots of love comes your way.
Written By: Birth Mom Sharon
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